Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Which Ninja Turtle are you? Every friend group born between 1980-1996 has had this discussion (the radical reptile teens are overdue for their TikTok moment). Science has a “Best Ninja Turtle” answer, so if you've got a problem, take it up with Darwin and Einstein. Unfortunately, science has been dragging its feet on the most important question, which is “do the Ninja Turtles get freaky?” Do the nasty, throw a no pants party, go ninja go down on your partner, that sort of thing? Work up an appetite and order pizza after? Gives a new meaning to “pizza dude's got thirty seconds," right? But let's be serious for a second. Ninja Turtles movies work best when they're serious.
