McDonald's

You gotta hand it to McDonald's: every item they sell tastes uniquely them. We've all been on the internet long enough to know “secret sauce” is always just some combination of ketchup, mayo, relish, and spices, and yet: no one does it like McDonald's. There's just something special about the golden arches, a special something that McDonald's has turned into a scented candle.

Sure, McDonald's hasn't exactly figured out ice cream machines, and yeah, maybe not every menu item is a hit. But all-powerful evil corporations don't get the “all-powerful” label without trying a few things. Oh, and speaking of trying things: drugs! Your uncle who “doesn't remember the 70s” might at least have some stories about using McDonald's coffee stirrers to snort cocaine. Because not only can ol' Ronald flip a burger…that clown can get down.