Garfield
We did it, everyone. We got Jim Davis to address the Jon Arbuckle drinks dog jizz strip. Davis claims it's really a high-protein supplement that they used to give cows on the farm, but WTF does that guy know about the strip he created? Dark Garfield is our god now, rounding out the the internet deity pantheon with Gritty and Baby Yoda. And come on, Garfield is no stranger to existential horror. Now, if we can just get that movie where Garfield stares down a post-apocalyptic wasteland made, we'd be all set on Garfield canon.