College

We're going to do our best to try not to talk you out of going to college here. Sure, we're going to tell you to skip grad school, but you weren't going there anyway, right? You're not a nerd, are you? Not a film nerd, we hope, because we're telling you to skip film school too. Geez, we're really not making good on our initial promise, are we? Give us a break, it's hard. Ivy League schools are nightmares, maybe even worse than you're imagining, and legacy admissions make everything feel fake. Ugh. 

Let's shift some blame, shall we? Probably the reason college seems bad now is the children, who are wrong. All those trigger warnings and safe spaces…oh wait, turns out those are perfectly reasonable. And even the athletes are finally getting their due. Students treated with respect and athletes getting paid? Maybe we should go to college.