Aliens
Before we talk about aliens, let's get one thing straight: Tom DeLonge was right. When Blink 182 sang “Aliens Exist,” they weren't just being goofy San Diego punks or following California religious tradition. As of this writing in 2022, the United States government has all but come out said “yeah dude there's something out there.” Which means we humans need to get our act together, because right now we act like we want aliens to hate us. So listen, aliens: let's be friends. We might not have much to offer as a species, but we've got a pretty planet. Just look at the fjords in Norway! Beautiful creation, should probably win some sort of award.
Anyway, humans: time to brush up on our history with aliens. England tried to trade with aliens in the 1600s. Aliens seem to love Japan. And of course America has been seeing UFOs since longer than anyone can remember, probably because we've all been neurolyzed at some point. One last thing, though: aliens did not build ancient monuments. Let's put a pin in that, it's insulting to the people who did build them. Now, aliens: wanna see some cool monuments we built?
