If Famous Musicians Were '80s Cartoons
Quick Fixes is a new section of Cracked featuring the articles and videos you love in a much smaller package; the "fun-size" version, if you will. And we hope you will ...
What is it about your favorite musicians that make you connect more with what they do than with any other musicians out there? Perhaps the answer lies somewhere in the 1980s. Not in the part where you can buy rubber Swatch watches and shirts that turn neon green when you generate body heat, but in the world of cartoons.
Saturday morning cartoons used to be an institution in this country. If you grew up with them and any of these bands trip your trigger more than most, your favorite cartoons probably had something to do with it.
Here are five famous musicians and their '80s cartoon counterparts ...
Red Hot Chili Peppers = The Smurfs
A group of shirtless guys whose overuse of some word ("California"/"smurf") makes you wish they'd be beaten with an atlas/thesaurus.
Foo Fighters = ThunderCats
After Dave Grohl's/Lion-O's original leader (Kurt Cobain/Jaga) died, he picked up a guitar/sword and led his group to success. All while he was in constant battle with an evil, decrepit ghoul.
As an adult, you notice how it takes forever for someone to do something, and that most of the words coming out of people's mouths are retarded.
Metallica = The Transformers
In the '80s, they were the most successful and popular of their kind (metal/giant robots). After a disappearance, they returned with a mainstream makeover hated by critics and old fans, but they're too busy counting profits to count the number of fucks that they don't give about it.
Ice Cube = Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Started out as gritty adult fare. In a new medium, became a neutered, family-friendly version of itself.
