The 31 Most Disturbing Things About Being A Parent

Life with kids is more terrifying than Steve Martin movies would have you believe.
The 31 Most Disturbing Things About Being A Parent

Hollywood likes to romanticize the whole parenting thing by making movies that are two acts of hilarious calamity, and a third act of lessons learned and love-filled reconciliation. In real life, however, it's closer to never-ending acts of the first ... minus the hilarious part.

For example ...

You will, never understand Common Core Nund he besr math. answer. Find missing part lame for exercises part. missing the 5. Find the numbers. 2. Write
YOUR CHILD WILL MOCK CRACKEDco YOU ENDLESSLY FOR NOT KNOWING THE NAMES OF EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER Bess? Karen? Sue? Binky? Artax? FROM EVERY SINGLE CAR
YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF NEGOTIATING EVERY BITE If you eat two more broccoli you can have ice cream fordessert. But iF O eat CWO more 0 WON'L nave roOm FO
ANYTHING CAN GO FROM FAVORITE TO HATED AT ANY TIME, AND IT WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE! GRACKEDOON'
CRAC START PRACTICING YOUR FAKE LAUGH. You'll need it when your kid tells you the same knock knock joke for the umpteenth time.
See There NIGNT NOESES are some UN aA NLRSC ATSOREN ABC great children's SPIbEr The BM ON Theurne THiAT books... COULD But it's the boring ones that
HOT WHEELS TIRES ARE A PERFECT FIT FOR TODDLERS' EARS AND YOU CANNOT PULL THEM OUT WITH TWEEZERS CRACKEDCON
He'll want to watch one particular episode of his favorite show... ...over... ...and over... ...and over... ...and over again.
It will seem like everyone else's kids do way cooler and more educational things over the summer than yours HOGWARTS STEM SCHOOL FOR XAVIERS GiFTED YO
You're going to have to come up with a response that says both Good boy! and The pants come down first! CRACKED.GOM
After 50 years of feminism your daughter's main aspiration is to be a Disney Princess CRACKEDCON
IF YOUR BOWELS ARE BACKED UP AND YOU DON'T HAVE BACKUP, POTTY TIME IS STILL FAMILY TIME. CRA
The act of cutting the umbilical cord symbolises the first step to fatherhood. It is also going to be a traumatizing experience. *You are essentially
There's a reason boys are often nicknamed SQUIRT
You won't need Google to find out... Which toys can survive the oven What happens if you machine-wash your new jacket Will the kick in your head wake
A toddler can outvoice everyone in a crowded restaurant. CRACKED.COM
CRACKED CONT TODDLERS LOVE TO PLEASURE THEMSELVES
Two CORN Words: Snacke SCHOOL GOUSNEt GRACKEDOON 19 Ene FUNDRAISER
DOING NOTHING IS REALLY REALLY HARD MUST---BREAK--- FREE---TELL SON HE'S DOING IT WRONG--- CRACKED.COM
Brace yourself for the creepy things your kids are going to say about their imaginary friends, like Mom, Tony doesn't have a face and he lives in you
in a child's mind: LALLALLL coroe HANO NOS h THIS IS TO PAINT WALLS, DOORS AND MIRRORS THESE ARE TO PAINT SOMEONE'S SKIN
GRACKEDG CONT ILLD You spend SO much time at the Urgent Care that going is like visiting old friends
Once they figure out how to get out of the crib It's all over c
KIDS LOVE TO COLLECT THE WEIRDEST BGers AND THE MOST DISGUSTING THINGS
YOUR CHILD WILL THROW UP AT ANY TIME AND ANY PLACE FOR NO REASON
When you realize that three simple words said by your child: I hate you can destroy you. CRACKED.COM
YOUR CHILD WILL CRY BECAUSE HE GOT SCARED WATCHING THE TV SHOW YOU LET HIM WATCH BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T STOP CRYING CRAUN
MEN, ALWAYS WEAR A SHIRT WHEN HOLDING A BREASTFED BABY CRAG WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY, THEY WILL TRY TO SUCKLE ANYTHING
A child's messy room becomes an obstacle course of PAIN.
CRACKED.CO NG SH MEN FOR IS a PLAYBOY wwaloybop.com 2001 FESRUARY tmas ANNA MEN ue NICOLE HAHN, ENTERTAINMENT FOR JESSICA AND SMITH UGHTY IN BE OUGHIO
Children never listen. Yet they somehow manage to hear everything. Papa, what's a douchebag? CRACKED COM

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