Insane Advice You've Gotten (From Medical Professionals)

Sometimes the word 'professional' needs air quotes.
Insane Advice You've Gotten (From Medical Professionals)

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Going to the doctor or clinic is scary. You're there because you're worried about something, and you're surrounded by strangers poking at your bathing suit parts. But it's all worth it to talk to a calm, reasonable, well-informed medical professional. Theoretically.

We asked our readers to tell us about all the times medical professionals dispensed idiotic, insensitive, or outright dangerous medical advice. We gave cash to the most disturbing stories.

GRAGKSDOONN My wife and I were having difficulties conceiving our second child. We sought her OB/GYN'S advice. She began to explain how the reproducti
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I told my doctor I had lower back pain. Without any further elaboration, she told me to stop doing my partner doggy style.
I had an eye doctor who was helping me insert new contact lenses. When I naturally flinched slightly, he grinned and said, Yes it probably will hurt
I went to urgent care with kidney pain. A The doctor blamed it on too much rough sex with my boyfriend. CRACKEDCON
A few years ago, I went to a dentist who spent the entire appointment quoting Happy Gilmore. E.g. You're gonna die, crown! CRACKEDCON
When I complained that I couldn't sleep for more than three or four hours at a time, my doc said Insomnia isn't a side effect of (your new prescripti
0 had a huge lIipoma (fatty lump) surgically removed from my right middie finger 85 100 www: Right after my surgeon extracted the mass, he exclaimed,
CRACKED CO I went in for a rash and asked the doctor if my sunblock could have caused it. She looked at me weirdly and said, 'Why would you need sunbl
CRACKED CON I'm trans and I was assigned a new doctor. He asked me excitedly, Have you heard of futanari?
I had a bladder infection, and the doctor who looked in my bladder told me, CRACKED.COM It looks like raw hamburger.
ICALLEDTHE GRACKEDOON EMERGENCY ROOMIWHENI HAD SUCHIA BAD HEADACHE IWASINTEARS FROM THE PAIN THEPERSONON THE PHONEFLATLYASKED CSO YOU'RE TRYING TO GET
I used to have gastrointestinal issues, and I visited the doctor one day to get a doctor's note for work. After I explained what I was experiencing, t
I told my doctor I was having a hard time functioning on the days I didn't take my ADHD meds. She said I should try housecleaning because it's very
GRACKEDCOM A dentist who just did a root canal on one of my teeth offered to remove all my teeth and replace them with artificial ones because it woul
When I was 15, I had a problem down there. The doctor said: Don't worry, it'll grow more. That wasn't the problem though. It got awkward... CRACKEDD
CRACKED c COM I went to the dentist with a painful lump on my gums. He told me that it formed because I grind my teeth in my sleep too much. Weed The
After the doctor was done checking my body temperature, I asked if he could write me a sick note. He shook his head disapprovinglya and said, Millenn
I fell and hurt my wrist, SO I went to the ER to check if it was broken. A nurse met me in the parking lot, and refused to admit me. Sure, it was thre
When I went in for an abscess in my mouth, the doctor recommended that / hold off on giving blow jobs for a while, the abscess could pop, and that's
CRACKED When I told the doctor that I started having terrible back pain a day after a gruelling sport session, he fired back: You've been playing vid
I jokingly told a doctor that my being overweight might be caused by my genes because almost everyone in my extended family is overweight. His reply:
WHILE EXAMINING MY KNEES MY DOCTOR SAID CRACKEDOON I CAN SEE YOU MASTURBATE A LOT
CRACKEDOON I went in for a back injury. Upon reading my medical record, the doctor noticed I was taking several different medications for my depressio
O told the doctor my testicles had been really sore lately. Without a pause, he asked you Been CORNHOLING someone? CRACKED CON
CRACKEDCON The doctor came to me with an X-ray of my chest and told me that my lungs were flawless. When I told him that I had quit smoking a few ye

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