I have seen every episode of Archer an unreasonable number of times. My mind now makes Archer references on unconscious demand.
That's me up there holding a chicken wing quite haphazardly, but not dropping it. Because is that how you get ants, Barry?
Yes it is, Other Barry.
I am also magnificent and crepuscular.
(Make it stop.)
It was an honor to get my first article for Cracked published back in May 2015. It was the culmination of years of reading dick jokes of the best order on the website.
I promise myself I don't cry … promise broken.
(Oh please make it stop.)
Anyway, I also write books and hope to get them published one day. You should read them once I do that.
(*Puts on another episode of Archer on Netflix*)
