Randall Maynard
twitter.com/randallmaynard
An Amazon Courier Pooped On A Curb, But Who Do We Blame?
This looks like an act of desperation.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
'CatDog' Lied: Science Says Dogs Could Be Smarter Than Cats
It turns out cartoons lied to us.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Pizza Hut Introduced A Vegan Pizza. Oh The Humanity.
Not a single one of my vegan or vegetarian friends has ever lectured me about meat.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Google's Screen Snooper Alert Software Has Dark Potential
What I do on my phone or computer is between me and my doctor.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Trump Thinks Human Memory Is Worse Than A Goldfish's
I wake up every day a blank slate.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
How Did This Suggestive Statue Get Past Quality Control?
What sculptor would look at this without even the slightest of niggling doubts?
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Who Is The Culprit Behind The Sephora Eyeshadow Caper?
Apparently, there was a trail of little glittery footprints in the wake of the eyeshadow attack.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Designer Pasta Means Rich People Have Run Out Of Ideas
I don't understand how you can make dried pasta gourmet.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now
Powerful men are accustomed to a certain amount of formulaic lenience.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
There's Gourmet Sushi For Dogs (Who Lick Their Own Butts)
Dogs need a lot of love, cuddles, food, and occasionally, for their owner to clean poop off their butt fur.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
The BBC Quoted A Hardcore Porn Website's Anti-Trump Tweet
I'm offended by the implication that hardcore porn sites can't have political opinions.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Pepsi Releases New Salted Caramel Flavor. Uh, You Ok Guys?
Pepsi. Buddy. Sit down. We need to talk.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
A Psychologist Says Early Christmas Music Is Unhealthy
Inappropriate Christmas music is bad for your mental health.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now (11/12/2017)
McDonalds has finally released an app to let me know the precise times when their ice cream machines are working.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Edible Glitter Coffee Is Happening. Don't Get Mad.
You know what? After the 'Rick and Morty' Szechuan sauce debacle, I don't want to hear a single complaint about glitter coffee.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
The Unicode Consortium Is Deciding The Fate Of The Poo Emoji
I knew they existed. I told my friends, my family, everyone. They told me I was being 'paranoid.'
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
There's A KFC Scented Bath Bomb Because The Devil Is Real
Winner winner chicken ... ugh ...
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/04/2017)
A child getting small amounts of candy handouts from all of her neighbors is like the definition of socialism.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
Judge Rules That Asking For A 'Lawyer Dog' Is Too Confusing
I can't imagine how these officers and judges function in real life, with all the 'ambiguous' slang out there.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
You Can See Mario's Officially Licensed Wiener
Mario's dingaling appears in an officially licensed manga, so his pendulous little disco stick is canon.
- Authors
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
- Published
