13 Iconic Actors Who Were Typecast As Salty Douches

Bringing you decades of smarmy, grumpy assholes.
13 Iconic Actors Who Were Typecast As Salty Douches

“Man, you’ve got a punchable face. Wanna keep it that way for decades?” That’s what we imagine studios and networks have asked these career douchebags. It must’ve been something to that effect, since they kept getting hired in smarmy, grumpy, or downright evil roles. Every hero needs a villain, and one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, so the tightrope between these extremes is something that these actors have walked time and time again. Do we love them? Do we hate them? Either way, we somehow want to see them doing their dastardly thang.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

The entertainment industry aims to please us all. There’s Jimmy Fallon for the eternally giddy optimists, and there’s Tommy Lee Jones for all the salty old pricks out there. A young, peppy character trying to crack an old guy’s gruff exterior is comedy gold, so these stone-faced bastards will find work till the bitter (and we mean bitter) end. Whether they were assholes in real life, or decent folks who happen to be great in those love-to-hate roles, here are 13 people who made a career out of being an asshole.

Intergalactic smuggler, archeologist, therapist, grump.

Career douchebags HARRISON FORD Ever since Han Solo responded to Leia's I love you with I know, Ford has been typecast as a salty badass... Which is exactly what he is. He's at his gruffest at 80 years old in Shrinking. CRACKED

Lucasfilm

We can handle your badass truth, Jack.

Career douchebags JACK NICHOLSON His best known roles are two of cinema's most iconic villains: the Joker in Tim Burton's Batman, and Jack Torrance in The Shining. Не yelled You can't handle the truth in A Few Good Men, and won an Oscar as a complete prick in As Good as It Gets. CRACKED

Columbia Pictures

Rolling Stone

An old grump since the ’60s.

Career douchebags CLINT EASTWOOD He's Hollywood's salty badass in Gran Torino, Million Dollar Baby, and countless westerns. Do you feel lucky, punk? You should, for getting to play your grumpy old self for six decades. CRACKED

Warner Bros. Pictures

IMDb

Google “Tommy Lee Jones smiling.” It’s just off-putting.

Career douchebags TOMMY LEE JONES The saltiest old dog in the game doesn't just act like a grump; he is a legitimate grump. Не doesn't sign autographs, and in Batman Forever, he told Jim Carrey, I hate you. I really don't like you... I cannot sanction your buffoonery. Bit much. CRACKED

Sony Pictures Releasing

Best Life

Punchable but lovable.

Career douchebags RICKY GERVAIS Possibly the most pretentious comedian ever, his characters are all self- centered, his celebrity roasts are cutting, and he brags about his wealth and punches down in his standup (which shouldn't work, but somehow does.) CRACKED

BBC

Gawker

Alan Rickman has a dark presence in any movie.

Career douchebags ALAN RICKMAN Gen-Xers know him as Hans Gruber in Die Hard, and Millennials know him as Professor Snape, but we all know that face and that voice (even with that slight German accent). CRACKED

20th Century Studios

IMDb

You know you’re an asshole if Paul Rudd wants to knock you out.

Career douchebags ... - ROB HUEBEL As Tevin in I Love You, Man, Holly's jerk boyfriend in The Office, and Harvey Spielyorm in Parks & Rec... If you need a cocky, funny jerk to pop in, he's your man. CRACKED

NBCUniversal

IMDb

You don’t have to be likable to be funny.

Career douchebags CHEVY CHASE Не began as one of SNL's bad boys, then got less and less likable from there. Не punched the lovable Bill Murray, is completely toxic on every set, and made racist remarks towards Donald Glover on Community. Even Clark Griswold is a prick, if you think about it. CRACKED

Sony Pictures Television

Gawker

Name one person other than Steven Seagal who thinks Steven Seagal is cool.

Career douchebags STEVEN SEAGAL An actual asshole, Seagal was the worst SNL host ever, was called out for actually punching costars, and was accused of sexual harassment by Jenny McCarthy, Portia de Rossi, and Julianna Margulies. Every movie is just him trying (and failing) to look badass. CRACKED

He can somehow say anything and we’d still love him.

Career douchebags ROB CORDDRY Every character he's played has a prickly but lovable vibe. Не plays a smarmy wanna be jock in Hot Tub Time Machine and Ballers, but it's clear he's kind of satirizing pricks while playing them. CRACKED

MGM

GQ 

No one does cocky like Will Arnett.

Career douchebags WILL ARNETT We met him as the cocky and self- absorbed illusionist Gob Bluth, and since then, he's played muted or animated versions of that. From Devon Banks in 30 Rock, to the voice of BoJack Horseman and Lego Batman, that prick-ish voice is unmistakable. CRACKED

Fox

IMDb

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?