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15 Bizarro Jobs Lost To The Mists Of Time

From baby farmers to coffee sniffers, explore the unique and often quirky jobs of the past.

15 Bizarro Jobs Lost To The Mists Of Time

January 07, 2023

They say no one wants to work anymore, but consider the fact that… no one has ever wanted to work. Because work sucks!

Even and especially in the days of yore, when the world was full of absolute batshit professions. From calculating comets to calculating NASA flight paths, from night owls with sticks to infants for rent, from sniffing out the truth to sweeping for coins, from churchgoers beware to royal fireplaces need royal care, from stink your way to success to Polish fighters, from cotton scavenging to bringing a mourner to your funeral, from scavenging in sewers to connecting the dots, and from flaming torches to criminal gangs – these professions have been forgotten in the modern world, but they remain a testament to the ingenuity and resourcefulness of our ancestors. This list celebrates the unique and often bizarre jobs of the past, and the people who made them their livelihood. So, without further ado, let us take a journey through the strange and wonderful world of historical professions.

15

Scavenging in sewers: Surprisingly profitable and full of folklore

Jobs that no longer exist Toshers The toshers made a living by scavenging in the sewers beneath London and risking their lives in the process. They were also a surprisingly successful profession, earning a decent living and even developing a unique folklore CRACKED — Wiki Commons
Smithsonian Magazine

14

Sweeping for coins

Jobs that no longer exist Crossing Sweepers Sweepers were common in the streets of English cities in the 18th-19th centuries, mainly poor boys who would sweep the path ahead of a wealthy lady in exchange of payment. CRACKED — William Powell Frith/Wiki Commons
The Johnston Collection

13

Churchgoers beware: Dog-whippers on patrol.

Jobs that no longer exist Dog Whippers Dog whippers were paid by the churchwarden to keep order in the churchyard. They used tongs and a whip to control both dogs and badly behaved parishioners. CRACKED — John Gipkyn
The Guardian

12

Connecting the dots: Telephone operators make history.

Jobs that no longer exist Telephone Operators Operators were essential in the early days of the telephone, connecting subscribers' wires on a central switchboard and allowing the revolutionary technology to become widely available. CRACKED — Everett Collection/Shutterstock
History

11

Cotton scavenging with machines running?

Jobs that no longer exist Mule Scavengers The textile industry employed children to pick up loose cotton from under the machinery while it was still running. The task was difficult and hazardous, and the children were often reprimanded for sitting down while doing it. CRACKED — Baines/Wiki Commons
Spartacus Educational

10

Bring a mourner to your funeral - no talking allowed.

Jobs that no longer exist Professional Mourners Victorian professional mourners, known as mutes, were hired by wealthy families to make funerals seem well attended, and were expected to be quiet and somber. CRACKED — Robert William Buss
Funeral Guide

9

Polish fighters: Blood donors for science.

Jobs that no longer exist Lice Feeders A WWII lab in Lviv employed Polish intellectuals and resistance fighters as lice feeders, allowing lice to suck their blood in order to study typhus. This lab also served as a safe haven for these individuals, providing a place for them to do their work while the lice fed on their blood. CRACKED — Liliya Butenko/Shutterstock
WNYC

8

Flaming torches and criminal gangs: a night out in London!

Jobs that no longer exist Link-Boys Link-boys were hired for a small fee to walk in front of people holding a flaming torch to light their way on London's dark and dangerous streets. They were often associated with criminal gangs, and were mentioned by Shakespeare, Samuel Pepys' diary, and Charles Dickens' novels. CRACKED — Wiki Commons
Look Up London

7

Night owls with sticks: the unique job of the knocker upper.

Jobs that no longer exist Knocker Uppers Knocker uppers were a common sight in Britain until the 1970s, waking up workers with long sticks, soft hammers, rattles, and even pea shooters. They were night owls and slept during the day, and had to modify their sticks to make sure they only woke up paying customers. CRACKED — Nationaal Archief/Flickr
BBC

6

Stink your way to success: the 18th century’s unwashed hermits.

Jobs that no longer exist Ornamental Hermits In the 18th century, wealthy estate owners in England, Scotland, and Ireland hired people to dress as druids and live in hermitages in their gardens, and were expected to not wash for years. CRACKED — Johann Baptist Theobald Schmitt/Wiki Commons
Atlas Obscura

5

Royal fireplaces need royal care – enter the fendersmith!

Jobs that no longer exist Fendersmiths A fendersmith is a specialist in fireplaces, who cleans, maintains, builds and tends to them, often in palaces. S Ana 0355 lemb-she out ghi rath 10 the higbeet CRACKED — Morphart Creation/Shutterstock
Bath & West Fire & Safety

4

Infants for rent: 19th century’s shady business.

Jobs that no longer exist Baby Farmers Baby farming was a practice in the late 19th and early 20th century where infants and young children were handed into care for a fee, and could either be returned to the parents or adopted by the farmer. GRACKED — Frank Leslie/Wiki Commons
The British Library

3

Elocutionists

Jobs that no longer exist Elocutionists Americans placed a great emphasis on elocution and oratory in the 19th century, leading to the rise of elocutionists who both performed and taught others how to perform. CRACKED — The Stand Magazine/Wiki Commons
Judith Felson Duchan/University at Buffalo

2

From Calculating Comets to Calculating NASA Flight Paths.

Jobs that no longer exist Human computers In the early 18th century, Edmond Halley's prediction of the return of Halley's comet led to the rise of human computers (mostly women) who were hired to process complex calculations. By the mid-20th century, women were employed by NASA to calculate trajectories and verify flight paths, and were respected for their mathematical abilities. CRACKED — NASA
Smithsonian Magazine

1

Sniffing out the truth: Prussia’s 400-strong Kaffeeriecher.

Jobs that no longer exist Coffee Sniffers The Kaffeeriecher were a group of 400 people hired in 18th-century Prussia by King Friedrich II to literally sniff out coffee smugglers, like human sniffer dogs. CRACKED — L. Katzenstein/Wiki Commons
German Language Blog/Transparent Language

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