25 News Stories In Brief That Really Fueled Our Fires

Is this the end of this year's Alaskan snow crab season? It looks like it, as estimates show that roughly one billion crabs have disappeared, leading officials to investigate and cancel the season. This is a staggering ninety percent drop in their population in just two years. In other news, a pastor has been placed on administrative leave after giving out “I <3 Hot Youth Pastors” stickers. Cory Wall, 35-year-old man of God (allegedly), handed them out at his church with a note admitting he was poking fun at what he called the “I Love Hot Mom” culture. Which sounds 10000% credible. Finally, OnlyFans lawyers accidentally revealed which Meta execs allegedly took bribes to act in certain users' interests, by filing a court document that failed to redact names connected to the alleged global conspiracy inside Meta. Anyway, the allegation that this failure to redact was accidental sounds just as credible as the pastor's one.
Star Wars

Wallaby encounters nearly spell disaster at Australian Motorcycle Grand Prix.

Influencer begging for donations after saying she 'accidentally' bought a $100,000 couch

Witchcraft Event Canceled Last Minute In Newburgh Following Subject Matter Concerns

Farmer offers £250 reward to catch pumpkin thief

Vegan who failed to deal with mouse infestation and fed them instead is fined by court

Elon Musk sells $1 million worth of new perfume, 'Burnt Hair'.

VTuber Group Apologizes For Using Splatoon 3 to Stream Pornography

McDonald's customer fined after visiting restaurant twice in 14 hours

Minks

Passenger banned from ferry tried to sneak on with wig and high-pitched accent

Man dubbed 'Edward Scissorhands' cuts trees during middle of night in Fort Worth neighborhood

Alex Jones ordered to pay $965 million for Sandy Hook lies

Bayonetta

Iron Man Star Terrence Howard Claimed Robert Downey Jr Owes Him $100M,

Flamethrower used on teens trying to toilet paper home

Robot falls asleep while being quizzed by Lords

Florida Rental Car

China censors word "Beijing” after rare protest in city

Gretchen Whitmer

A YouTuber is trying to claim an expensive Team Fortress 2 weapon as a tax deduction

Herschel Walker

OnlyFans lawyers accidentally reveal which Meta execs allegedly took bribes

Pastor who gave kids ‘I <3 hot youth pastors’ stickers placed on leave

Alaska snow crab season canceled as officials investigate disappearance of an estimated 1 billion crabs
