25 Recent Headlines That Made The World Weirder Than Ever

Star of “House of the Dragon” turned down “Game of Thrones” because it had… Dragons.
25 Recent Headlines That Made The World Weirder Than Ever

One of the reasons why I enjoy this list of interesting facts so much is that it is entirely subjective. You can do the same, of course, but you'd have to make your own list, and what's fun about that The other reason is that these are facts that I have learned in my lifetime, which I find very surprising, amusing, or fascinating. You may not find some of them surprising, but there is a good chance you will be amazed at just how many of these facts have been hidden from you. I have made sure to keep the number of facts as high as possible, because the more facts I put here, the higher the probability of making you laugh or shake your head in disbelief. There are some facts in this list that you will find incredible, but don't forget that everything you know right now was once considered completely impossible and unthinkable. Enjoy!

Texas congressman swears off 'eating a whole plate of dog penis' again.

Rep. Ronny Jackson says he won't eat a plate of dog penis, again. CRACKED.COM Jackson was asked what he would choose for his last meal on Earth if he could plan it. The congressman an- swered: It won't be dog ре- nis. I ate a whole plate of dog penis one time. I'm not doing that again.

Chron

Scion of SF Coffee Dynasty Attempts Run for District Attorney, Realizes He Needs to Be an Attorney.

The son of a San Fran coffee dynasty didn't realize he had to be an attorney to run for District Attorney. IN P by Getty Images 201* ON iStock iStock iStock by was Images by Stock GRAGKED.COM iStock Austin Hills' dreams were cut short, probably when someone made him sound out the position he wanted to run for really slowly until the realiza- tion dawned on him.

SF Standard

City tells New Yorkers: don’t panic about ‘splooting’ squirrels.

New York quelled its residents' fears about splooting squirrels. CRACKED.COM According to NYC Parks on Twitter, the squirrels in re- pose are not hurt, they are doing something called heat dumping where they sploot (stretch out) on the ground to keep cool.

The Guardian

‘Papa Smurf’ from Camden, NJ, Sentenced for Illegally Possessing a Weapon.

NJ finally locks up Papa Smurf on weapons possession. CRACKED.COM 38-year-old Anthony D. Parker, a.k.a. Papa Smurf, was convicted on one count of being a fel- on in possession of a weapon and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

WPG Talk Radio

US pedophile dies after drinking mystery liquid during guilty verdict.

A convicted pedophile chugged a mystery liquid at trial and died. CRACKED.COM Edward Leclair took a long drink from a water bottle of a cloudy liquid while being handed a guilty verdict for child sex- ual assault, and later died vomitting in his holding cell. Neat!

AU News

Man flees arrest in slow moving excavator while deputies follow on foot.

An Oregon man led police on a low-speed chase in a slow moving excavator. MAC 1501 CRACKED.COM The officers followed Jesse В. Shaw, who had three ar- rest warrants and was wanted for stealing a car, on foot as his construction vehicle slowly lumbered through a narrow dirt road.

KPTV

Burger King just emailed everyone a blank receipt in a whopper of a mistake.

Burger King has emailed thousands of customers with a blank order email receipt. DRIVE IN ARTES BURGE KING KING RI BURGER KING - - WITH The ANTIK CRACKED COM Thanks to 'an internal pro- cessing error,' ВК sent con- fused burger fans a totally empty receipt, thanking them for their order which will be ready to be picked up at Burger King located at .

The Verge

South Korean politicians seek to criminalise ‘semen terrorism.

Politicians in South Korea are looking to make semen terrorism a punishable sex crime. CRACKED.COM The move comes after a string of controversial court verdicts that have punished men who secret- ly ejaculated onto wom- en's belongings for prop- erty damage, and not for sexually criminal behavior.

The Guardian

Heiress Used Fake Psychics to Scam Mom Out of $140 Million in Art.

An heiress convinces her mother that her $140 million art collection was possessed. GRAGKED.COM Sabine Boghici, the daugh- ter of a wealthy Brazilian art collector, used fake for- tune tellers to scam her mother out of family heir- loom paintings, saying they needed to be re- moved from the home.

Daily Beast

200-year-old tree explodes in Portland due to heatwave.

A 200-year-old tree in Portland freaking exploded due to the heat. DONOR CRACKED.COM The tree looked perfectly healthy but seven days of temperatures at 95 de- grees or above caused it to split and an enormous limb came crashing down, tak- ing out power lines.

KPTV

'Time traveler from 2090' warns of 'worst hurricane in history' in coming days.

A time traveler from 2090 has warned of the worst hurricane in history. CRACKED.COM Kim Windell Necos, who claimed to be from 68 years in the future, said the devastating storm would have hit South Carolina on August 14th. She'll probably blame wibbly wobbly timey wimey space disruptions for the whiff.

Mirror

Man jailed in Spain after selling off 7,000 hams he stole from work.

A man stole thousands of hams from work to sell for profit. GRAGKED.COM The piggy profiteer de- frauded his employers out of $530,000 by reselling the hams, stolen from the curing warehouse he had worked over the course of six years.

The Guardian

Papa John says the company is making worse pizzas without his 'conservative values' of 'truth and God.'

The disgraced Papa John's CEO says the company is making worse pizza without his 'conservative values.' CRACKED.COM John Schnatter suggested that truth and God made Papa John's great. The Big Papa also said some other interesting things, most notably the N-word on a conference call in 2018.

Business Insider

Fox News aired a bizarre fake photo replacing Jeffrey Epstein with the judge who signed off on Trump's search warrant.

Fox News aired a bizarre, Photoshopped image of the judge that green-lit the Mar-a-Lago FBI raid. CRACKED COM Incensed that anyone would dare try to hold Donald Trump accountable for such a small crime as High Trea- son, Fox photoshopped Judge Bruce Reinhart onto Jeffy Epstein's body aboard a private plane.

Business Insider

Redbox is now officially part of Chicken Soup for the Soul Entertainment.

Redbox was bought by the Chicken Soup for the Soul publisher. CALF DIEN YOU redbox GAM ... 10024 TOW CRUISE MISSION Fall:out Fallcout & TRY BEFORE IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION YOU BUY. NOW AT THE BOX. reme and return . ... restrict location CRACKED.COM The struggling DVD-rental kiosk operator and video streamer was purchased for $370 million by Chick- en Soup for the Soul Enter- tainment, which operates AVOD streaming services including Crackle.

Variety

Doug Ford swallowed a bee while discussing Ontario's health care crunch.

Ontario Premier Doug Ford swallowed a bee while giving a speech. CRACKED.COM Ford experience visible discomfort as the insect flew into his mouth. Some- one from the audience asked if he was all right to continue, to which Ford re- sponded: I'm OK. It's buzzing in there.

CBC

HyperSocial CEO Braden Wallake

People are ripping into the CEO that posted a crying selfie on LinkedIn. CRACKED.COM Braden Wallake, the CEO of a company specializing in opti- mizing LinkedIn posts, post- ed the blubbering photo on a post discussing layoffs in his company. Here's how to op- timize this particular post: Delete it.

Newsweek

Car thief hides from cops in a giant stuffed teddy bear.

A car thief evaded police by hiding in a giant teddy bear. GRACKED.COM 18-year-old Joshua Dodson hid in the giant bear after he stole a car and filled it up with gas without paying. Po- lice said something wasn't right when they saw the bear breathing on their search for the teen.

WFLA

Actor Ricky Gervais calls on Cook County forest preserve to surrender coyote at center of controversy.

Ricky Gervais wants a forest preserve to surrender a coyote after a case of mistaken identity. CRACKED.COM Rocky the coyote was sur- rendered to an animal con- trol facility after someone had mistaken it for a dog, and has spent most of its life confined in an outdoor enclosure after imprinting on humans.

Fox 32

Las Vegas landlord requires tenant on Section 8 to sign sex contract in order to lease home.

A Vegas landlord made a tenant on Section 8 sign a sex contract in order to lease from him. GRACKED.COM ONTRACT Allan Rothstein made the vulnerable woman sign Di- rect Consent for Sexual In- tercourse and or (oral sex). The contract says the tenant swears she does not have any family members that could beat Rothstein up.

KTNV

Oregon wants to stop using school funds to clean up neglected boats.

School funds in Oregon are going to fixing up derelict boats. CRACKED.COM Since 2017, Oregon has used nearly $13 million from the Common School Fund to re- move abandoned and neglected boats from waterways.

OPB

House Of The Dragon Star Turned Down GoT Because It Had Dragons.

Paddy Considine turned down Game of Thrones because it had dragons. CRACKED.COM Considine will play King Viserys Targaryen in HBO's House of the Dragon, which is guar- anteed to have 500% more dragons than Game of Thrones.

ScreenRant

Paraplegic shooting suspect can avoid trial and end his life.

A man paralyzed by the police while firing on his coworkers can end his life to avoid trial. SECURITY GRACKED.COM Security guard Marin Eugen Sabau fired on his former col- leagues in Spain in December 2021, before being shot and paralyzed by the responding officers. Sabau was granted the right to end his own life via euthanasia.

The Guardian 

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