25 Weird News Stories That Will Make Future Anthropologists Blush

When “Batgirl” isn’t good enough to be released by the studio that brought you “Justice League,” we know it must have sucked.
25 Weird News Stories That Will Make Future Anthropologists Blush

I enjoy this list of interesting facts because it makes me feel smarter than I actually am. This is because there are many things in the universe which I do not know, and therefore cannot be expected to have an opinion on. However, because I have never heard of them before, they seem new, exciting, and important to me. The list also has a good sense of humor, which makes it fun to read and puts me at ease, for some reason. It's also very long, which means there is more of it to read, and more of it to forget. This means that I have to reread the list from the top, which is both inconvenient and mildly amusing. The list is also made up almost entirely of interesting facts that are not particularly well known. Because the list is so long, it's hard to find facts that have a large audience of people who enjoy this list of interesting facts.

Cracker Barrel sparks uproar for plant-based sausage critics say is 'woke.'

A vegetarian Cracker Barrel menu item is being derided as woke online. ROCKER Ванкий Old Country Store CRACKED.COM The plant-based sausage made by Impossible Foods added to breakfast menus is causing a dramatic stir online by people absolute- ly under no obligation to ever order and eat it.

CNN

New guidelines against showing too much skin spark parody at annual Hong Kong convention.

Annual Hong Kong anime convention goers are getting heated over a ban on underboob. MADE AND CRACKED COM The Con called on female cosplayers to avoid show- ing their underboob and wearing stockings that re- vealed too much skin. This prompted cosplayers to dress head to toe in Among Us costumes.

Hong Kong FP

An artist threw the pickle from a McDonald’s burger on a ceiling – and is charging $6,325 for it.

An Australian artist flung a pickle onto a gallery ceiling, and listed it for $6,329. CRACKED.COM According to the gallery, this most recent work is intentionally designed to question what art has val- ue and what doesn't. We can answer that: This one doesn't.

Today

Confused jealous wife stabs her husband after seeing her younger-self old photos.

A woman stabbed her husband because she didn't realize the woman he was pictured with was her. POLICE CRACKED.COM The photo of the couple was taken years ago, when they were dating, police said. It turns out that she misidentified her younger self with another woman, prompting the multiple stabbings.

Yucatan Magazine

A Man Used A Counterfeit $100 Bill To Scam An 11-Year-Old Boy.

Someone gave an 11-year-old a counterfeit $100 bill for lemonade. GRACKED.COM Jeremy spent his allowance to set up the lemonade stand outside his home, where a man purchased cold bever- ages with a phony 100, get- ting 85 of the boy's real dol- lars in change.

USA Today

Klondike looking at bringing back Choco Taco after consumer uproar.

It looks like we were all duped by the supposed Choco Taco discontinuation. CRACKED.COM Based on consumer uproar, Klondike announced it was looking to bring back the treat, in the coming years. If nothing, this got every ma- jor news publication to print Choco Taco during the hot- test summer ever.

Fox Business

A Munich brewpub has found a novel way to beat Europe's cooking oil shortages.

A Munich brewpub is accepting sunflower seed oil in exchange for beer. CRACKED.COM Many European countries including Germany have seen sunflower seed oil supplies dwindle since Russia's war on Ukraine, so the Giesinger Brewery is offering a liter of beer for the same of oil.

Reuters

Donald Trump endorses ‘Eric’ in Missouri primary – but which one?

Donald Trump endorsed one of three possible Erics in the Missouri primary. GRACKED.COM Trump said he was proud to announce that ERIC has my Complete and Total En- dorsement! in the race, of which three Erics are run- ning. Eric Greitens and Eric Schmitt both claimed the onerous honor.

The Guardian

Revelers at Massive Party in Tonto National Forest Covered the Desert in Poop.

A massive party has left Tonto National Forest covered in poop. GRACKED.COM Thousands of people con- verged in the desert, shoot- ing guns, driving (and crash- ing) off-road vehicles, danc- ing to a live band, and poop- ing en masse in the riparian ecosystem.

Phoenix New Times

Lawyer gets in trouble with judge for not playing Call of Duty.

A lawyer was chastised by the judge for not playing enough Call of Duty. CALL OF DUTY INFINITE WARFARE CRACKED.COM Brooks Entertainment's law- yer made the case that Activ- ision ripped off his clients character in Call of Duty: In- finite Warfare, but failed to do his due diligence by sim- ply playing the game for an hour to check.

Charlie Intel

Parents hog tie son to prevent him from eating candy.

Ohio parents tied up their child so he didn't get into the candy as they slept. CRACKED.COM Jason and Tabetha Sosno- wicz were arrested after police received a call stat- ing a child may have been tied up in one of the rooms. Officers found the 12-year-old hogtied with shoestrings.

WTOL

Hong Kong bans eating at annual food expo.

The Hong Kong Food Expo has banned eating. NG-UNG NGU adidas CRACKED.COM Thanks to Covid regula- tions, visitors will not be allowed to sample the deli- cacies of Hong Kong's an- nual exhibition of global gourmet food for the sec- ond year in a row.

France 24

Louisiana Man Arrested for Possession of Too Many Sharks, Meth in Bayou.

A Louisiana man was arrested for possession of meth... and too many sharks. GRACKED.COM Anouda Lirette, 44, was taken into custody in possession of meth and drug parapherna- lia, as well as an un- dersized shark he had fished up.

WAFB

A Security Guard Allegedly Thought The Oxford School Shooting Was A Drill.

A security guard thought a deadly school shooting was just a drill. SECURITY CRACKED.COM Kimberly Potts strolled through the halls of Oxford High School during an active shooting back in November, 2021, unconcerned. Potts al- legedly thought a 16-year-old's blood was re- ally good makeup.

Buzzfeed News

Athlete Loses Race in Colombia After His Penis Came Out in The Middle of The Run.

A runner at the World Athletics U20 Championships lost his race when his penis came out of his pants. CRACKED.COM Italy's own Alberto Nonino, an 18-year-old athlete, was doing well in the 400-me- ter decathlon in Cali, Co- lombia until he awkwardly started tugging at his crotch to keep his starting pistol in check.

News 18

Hungarian leader Viktor Orbán declares at CPAC that "a Christian politician cannot be racist."

The Hungarian Prime Minister said a Christian politician cannot be racist. CRACKED.COM PM Viktor Orbán told the Texas crowd at the Conser- vative Political Action Con- ference that those who consider him a racist or an- ti-Semite are simply idi- ots, seemingly to pre- empt criticism.

CBS News

Magnet fishers fined after pulling 86 rockets from Fort Stewart river.

Treasure hunters were slapped with a fine for fishing rockets out of a river with magnets. N S GRAGKED.COM The group cleared 86 rock- ets, a tank tracer round, and .50 caliber ammo belts before calling the bomb squad. Their good deed wasn't appreciated, how- ever, and three tickets were issued to the group.

Air Force Times

Lauren Boebert Says Venezuelans Eat Dogs Because They Have No Guns.

Rep. Lauren Boebert said a gun ban could result in Americans eating dogs. GRACKED.COM Speaking about the impor- tance of guns in America, Boebert told Newsmax's Se- bastian Gorka Americans would begin eating dogs, like in Venezuela, if guns are taken away from citizens.

Newsweek

Batgirl Movie Will Reportedly Never Be Released Because It Was Just That Bad.

The 'Batgirl' movie is so bad that it's not going to be released, despite being completely done. CRACKED.COM Warner Bros. Discovery has no plans to release the movie in theaters or on HBO Max, where it was originally intended to land, because studio leadership believes the movie just did not work.

Escapist Magazine 

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