20 Facts For Every Trivia Aficionado
Stupendous facts are not just for people who enjoy this list of interesting facts. I am writing these for the reader who has no interest in facts, but is a human being. You can think of me as a human being like you. I have nothing better to do with my life than write about facts. This is because I don't know what to do with my life. I want to live. I am not so sure I want to live any longer, however, so I've taken a vow of silence for the next 100 years. But, I am still human. So I am writing about things that make me feel good. This is an absurdist piece of prose written by an absurdist person. Absurdist literature is the literature of a human being. Most human beings are curious about facts, especially interesting ones. You are probably one of them. I don't know who you are, but I know you are here, reading this. Thank you.
Making Fake News
White Christmas
A card-counter developed an algorithm for horse race betting.
The oldest Briton credited his long life to smoking and drinking.
The Vermont Mummy
Ganymede is a moon larger than Mercury.
Van Gogh was only an active painter for 9 years.
The ‘Harry Potter’ audiobook narrator uses hundreds of unique voices.
The British army tried to train seagulls to poop on enemy submarines.
A Narluga is the offspring of a beluga and narwhal.
The inventor of the Colt pistol tricked the Russians and the Turks into ordering thousands of guns.
A star was observed with 28 equal-sized planets orbiting in random ways.
A runner was stuck in traffic so he hoofed it to the Olympics.
The Louvre was originally built as a fortress.
Over more than a decade, two brothers exchanged the same pair of pants wrapped in increasingly wild ways.
Lincoln is the only US President with a patent.
“Carmen Sandiego” was created because Americans were real dumb.
A screenwriter really stranded himself to realistically write “Cast Away.”
The “dun dun” Law & Order effect is a few layered sounds.
Schwarzenegger was too jacked when he first started filming “Conan.”
