15 Bonkers Headlines That Totally Deep Fried Our Twinkies
"You know," said the young man in the white lab coat as he stared at his computer screen, "there's no way you're really psychic." He turned and looked directly into my eyes. I was sitting on an examining table with the white plastic covering pulled back from my body, but it didn't feel cold.
He continued, "No real psychic could ever be so calm when talking to someone about their own death. No real psychic could have the power to see into people's minds without any kind of external device or contact. And no real psychic could ever predict something that happened years before."
He was right. There wasn't even anything on this man's desk except for a pen, some paper and a computer with a bunch of text on it. I squinted to read that text carefully, trying to make out as many words on the screen as I can. The text was a list of fifteen facts, and it went...
A truck was used to haul a truck.
Some idiots shared pictures of plane crashes while on a flight.
Vancouver kills the babies of a goose it wished ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to.
A German airline was a little too quick to group Jewish passengers together.
A substitute teacher was too “Toxic” to continue teaching.
A football club axed one player for too many farts.
A cleric in Kenya would rather stay in jail than take his chances on the outside.
A man lost 87 pounds waiting for the return of the Mexican pizza.
Thongs were sold at a grade school for Mother’s Day.
A dog wandered into the wrong home and snuggled in the owner’s bed.
Plagiarism Today was plagiarized in an essay about plagiarism.
A cat is in big trouble for trespassing and taunting other pets.
A passenger had to land a single-engine plane after the pilot became incapacitated.
Police have an hours-long standoff with no one.
Managers can better manage when they look inwards.
