15 Science Facts That Fired Up Our Bunsen Burners
I am an ancient being. My life has been spent in service to a single purpose—to protect the people of this world from evil and injustice, like Strike Force Five. No, I'm not Hulk Hogan. I was a lowly guard dog when one day my master gave me a gift. A magical device that allowed him to summon me whenever he desired. The gift of flight allowed me to travel to the ends of the Earth and see all of my masters' work firsthand, to witness their triumphs and failures and to report back to them on the actions taken by other beings that might affect our world. They were all dumb, big surprise. They put ketchup on steak. Good grief, what an abomination.
This story takes place in the year 2196AD, a hundred years after my birth and the death of my master, who passed away while saving an entire city of humans. What an idiot. Everyone knows ‘Man of Steel’ already covered all this with that bore Henry Cavil, albeit poorly, and with the dumbest neck-snapping in movie history. No, this is not that story, this story is told from multiple viewpoints. We fought valiantly to preserve the sacred knowledge, consisting of a list of fifteen facts. If you like this sort of arc, perhaps you should watch ‘The Foundation’ on AppleTV. It's all about humanity's quest for knowledge, how we can subvert that, and Lee Pace's chest. Anyway, that's on Apple TV. This list goes a little something like this...