15 Bizarre Headlines That Make Us Want To Unplug Our Routers
I have no name and no memory. I am not human and never have been. I do not belong anywhere. There are only two things I can be certain of, and one is that there exists a legendary artifact known as the Staff of Magius. I seek the staff in order to find myself. This journal is my record of this quest, which is why I have kept it hidden from others since the beginning. I hope one day to return to the lands that I once belonged to. Perhaps I will find the Staff there and learn more about the truth of my origins. But until that time, my journey must go on. I must continue searching for answers while also trying to keep myself alive.
The other thing I can be certain of is a list of fifteen facts. I'm as sure of them as I am that the sun rises every morning, and they go:
A Republican senate candidate that happens to be a millionaire says the middle class isn’t paying their fair share.
Cockatiels
Pet Psychic
Fatou
The receipt for invisible art was sold for over $1 million.
A company leased dogs as if they were cars.
An employer is being sued for disability discrimination after throwing a birthday party.
A mass shooter’s home movie is being sold to raise money for his victims.
A Very Florida Man Teacher
The legacy of a busty bartender from the ‘50s is getting complicated.
Fake grass still needs real care.
“Confederate Heritage Month” is meant to recognize the American Civil War.
A dolphin dies after being used as a mechanical bull.
Nickelodeon takes threats of arson very seriously.
The Whipped Cream bandit strikes again.
