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Grab a cozy blanket, some tea, and read all about when Captain America was on meth.

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March 11, 2022

There were tons of bizarre weight loss solutions back in the day. For example, replacing drinking water with vinegar -- which is not nearly as unappetizing as Marvel branded "mutant" chicken wings served up in the '90s.

Man, the world is so much weirder than any of us ever knew! There’s the cruel (the absurdly low amount corporations pay to extract precious natural resources), the absurd (Jim Carrey sort of anti-crashed a party at the Playboy Mansion?), and the adorable (elephants have a unique anti-bullying protocol). Speaking of adorable, what’s the opposite of “kawaii”? Let’s ask Japanese political candidate Yuusuke Kawai, the dude who has chosen a… pretty bizarre pop culture character to cosplay as in his press conferences.

Also, if you’re still reading, do us a favor: when you find out which boring desert ingredient was invented to snuff out masturbation, let us know in the comments… did it work?

15

The ride to the hospital is not covered in Surprise Billing protections.

Surprise Billing protections for medical expenses do not cover the ambulance ride. GOTT HEALTHCARE ANGOTTI HEALTHCARE ST. JOSEPH'S AMBULANCE SERVICE ST. JOSEPH'S A 2020 relief package came with some new protections against surprise billing, but it exempted ambulances. In Texas, 85 percent of ambulance trips take the patient out of network, with an average bill of $450. CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 Big Healthcare Problems That Aren't Getting Enough Press

14

Elephants will hug each other when distressed.

Elephants comfort each other when one of them is distressed. Researchers observing elephants in Thailand noticed that when an elephant was in distress (like when another elephant was too aggressive towards it), others would try to initiate physical contact with it. CRACKED.COM — Source: 4 Elephants Facts That Prove They're Low-key Geniuses

13

Nestle would literally suck the plasma out of a newborn with a drinking straw if they could turn a profit.

Source: 4 Supervillain-Tier Acts Of Evil By Famous Companies

12

Italy erased any mention of The Nanny's Jewish heritage.

The Italian dub of The Nanny got rid of Nanny Fine's Jewish heritage. The Italian La Tata (lit. The Nanny) was just a redub of the American original, but it made significant changes to the story, making Fran Fine an Italian immigrant and removing any mentions of her or her family's Jewish heritage. CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 Wildly Wacked-Out Foreign Takes On Pop Culture

11

Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey sent someone to the Playboy Mansion dressed as Tony Clifton. When Jim Carrey was invited to the Playboy Mansion while playing Kaufman in Man in the Moon, he wanted to go as Andy Kaufman's alter ego, Tony Clifton. Hugh Hefner ruined the joke by telling everyone the strange man in a wig and sunglasses would be Carrey, so Carrey sent a stand-in. CRACKED.COM — Source: 4 Legendary Pranks by Famous Comedians

10

Someone ran for governor in Japan dressed like the Joker.

A candidate running for governor in Japan held a press conference as the Joker. The 40-year-old Yuusuke Kawai, who is the head of an event planning and temporary employment agency, is running for governor of Japan's Chiba Prefecture, under the 'Party to Make All of Chiba a Land of Dreams and Magic.' CRACKED.COM — Source: Joker Runs For Office As The Joker in Japan

9

Nolan's Tenet was crammed into 5 cartridges to play on the Game Boy Advance.

A YouTuber compressed Christopher Nolan's Tenet to play on the Game Boy Advance. The GBA-ified movie spread the two-hour and 30-minute film over the course of five cartridges. The YouTuber, WULFF DEN, did this for no reason other than to piss off the revered director, famed for his burning hatred of streaming releases, even amid the Covid-19 pandemic. CRACKED.COM — Source: YouTuber Burns 'Tenet' on Game Boy Cartridge To Spite Christopher Nolan

8

One 19th century poet started drinking vinegar instead of water to lose weight.

A famous poet replaced all his water with vinegar. Famed Romantic poet Lord Byron (1788-1824) was terrified of becoming overweight and would try just about anything to keep the pounds off. Eventually, his quest to stay skinny led him to replace his water intake with vinegar. Byron fell ill with a fever and died in his mid-30s. CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 Historical Diet Tips That Were Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

7

Malaysia has an intricate system to select a new ruler.

In Malaysia, every bloodline gets its turn on the throne. The Malaysian state of Perak has six special royal heirs selected from the three royal families - When a new Sultan arises, all the heirs move up a spot, and the ruler's oldest son is put in the back of the line. CRACKED.COM — Source: 6 Bonkers Monarchies ... That Are Still Around Today

6

Godzilla is probably based off an American creation.

The original Godzilla movie was a rip off. A year before Godzilla, the American horror movie The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms told the story of a dinosaur-like monster who is awoken by nuclear tests and proceeds to terrorize a major city. Godzilla was originally titled Big Monster From 20,000 Miles Beneath The Sea. CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 'Whoa' Godzilla Moments

5

Raining meat in Kentucky lead to a disgusting revelation.

It rained meat into one Kentucky woman's yard in 1876, and she ate it. Meat, ranging from the size of a snowflake to 4 inches across, suddenly rained down into Mrs. Crouch's farmland. The Crouches ate the meat, describing its taste as like mutton or venison. The meat was most likely vulture vomit from a passing flock of scavenging birds, suddenly spooked into nervously puking. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Kentucky Meat Shower: Not A Lewd Act, But Still Gross

4

Graham Crackers were made to be so bland you couldn't touch yourself.

Graham Crackers were created to stop masturbation. Sylvester Graham was a 19th-century minister that came into the idea that white flour was one of the main culprits for making Americans so immoral, so he took all of the fun out of eating bread. Graham was under the belief that a stripped-down, blander diet would help men focus. CRACKED.COM — Source: 5 Historical Diet Tips That Were Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

3

Planet Hollywood, Marvel Style

Marvel had a Planet Hollywood style theme restaurant. Universal Studios Hollywood debuted Marvel Mania in 1998. Since the restaurant was a collaboration between Marvel and Planet Hollywood, it similarly featured props from the world of Marvel, like the Green Goblin's mask, The Avengers' I.D. cards, and Spider-Man's belt. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Crazy Marvel-Themed Restaurant Time Forgot

2

George Lucas

George Lucas added CGI to more of his past films than you probably think. Lucas couldn't help but insert a CGI sunset into the opening credits of the DVD version of American Graffiti. Raiders of the Lost Ark randomly replaced a car chase stunt with an entirely CGI shot - a change that was seemingly reversed in the subsequent Blu-Ray release. CRACKED.COM — Source: George Lucas Screwed-Up His Non-'Star Wars' Movies Too

1

Captain America had to have his meth-infused super serum sucked out.

Captain America briefly became addicted to meth in the comics. In a 1990 storyline called Streets of Poison, a warehouse explosion bathed Cap in meth, which then attached itself to the super serum that's been running through his veins for the past 50 years, giving him a permanent high. The Avengers have no choice but to pump the serum out of Cap's body. CRACKED.COM — Source: 4 Weird Captain America Stories The MCU Stayed Away From

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