32 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, January 28, 2025

‘Simpsons’ Showrunner Details How the Poochie Episode of ‘The Simpsons’ Was Barely Fictionalized

This Chevy Chase Sponsored Instagram Post Is Sadder Than Getting Denied at Wally World

Pee-wee Herman Heads Respond to Paul Reubens ‘Coming Out of the Casket’

40 Random Bits of Trivia They Couldn’t Erase From Our Brain With a 10-Foot Neuralyzer

31 Super Weird Governments Projects That Actually Happened

Weaponizing psychics is somehow not the dumbest thing a government has tried to do

31 Super Weird Governments Projects That Actually Happened

August 20, 2023

Governments do some weird stuff sometimes — both in a good and a bad way. That said, we can probably all agree that CIA-run LSD brothels are probably not the best way to spend taxpayer money. Let’s take a loot at that and 30 other weird government projects below…

31

The Pentagon has so far invested over $4 million on the NAV. (That's short for Nano Air Vehicle.) the NAV Not the NAV It's a robot hummingbird. It's 6 inches tall and weighs less than an ounce. And yes, it's for spying. CRACKED.COM http://www.avinc.com/nano — 20 Times Tax Money Was Flushed Down The Toilet

30

Cities across the country are implementing gun buyback programs. RUD HC3832296 KB63832296 Buyback value: $50 - $250 Which are causing people to buy more guns. Not only are the collected guns not likely to be the ones used in violent crime, but a seller will often use the money to buy a new gun. CRACKED.COM http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=2128 — 20 Times Tax Money Was Flushed Down The Toilet

29

For 10 years, the CIA ran Operation Midnight Climax. They had the full support and cooperation of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics and local police departments. It was a series of LSD brothels. In the 1950s, the CIA hired prostitutes to pick up johns and return them to a CIA safe house where they would be dosed with large amounts of LSD. Operatives would then observe and record their reactions from behind one-way mirrors. CRACKED.COM http://www.sanfranciscosentinel.com/?p=11209 — 20 Times Tax Money Was Flushed Down The Toilet

28

HUNDRED THE THE FOR POOP S G FEDERAL INTER KB46 NOTE HENKIVE CC H KB 46279860I PLANE B2 TESDER AND - NOT - Done Coolede de Code 26852 D 46 U.S. AIR FORCE FS-852 USAF GRACKED.COM One of the Air Force's many costly aircraft experiments involved sticking a propeller on the F-84F KB4 Thunderstreak. The resulting constant sonic boom triggered UNDR nausea, seizures, and the 60 1 loosening of people's bowels. — Air & Space Mag

27

The Finnish foreign ministry promoted the idea of päntsdrunk using emoji. It means drinking at home, by yourself, with no pants on. In addition to two emoji for the concept, the ministry also created a promotional video. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Vinepair

26

CHILE IS INFLATING ITS RECOVERY NUMBERS AND NOT GIVING A F*CK. It's counting dead people among recovered ones because, as Health Minister Jaime Mañalich says, they're no longer contagious. CRACKED.COM — Newsweek

25

Madrid

MADRID ENTERTAINED QUARANTINED PEOPLE WITH A PORTABLE CINEMA. The cinema is a giant two-sided screen mounted on a van touring all of Madrid's 21 districts, playing shows like Amazon's Modern Love. CRACKED.COM — Euronews

24

INDIA'S UTTARAKHAND STATE PUNISHES LOCKDOWN VIOLATORS LIKE A MIDDLE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL WOULD. Police caught at least 10 foreign nationals walking outside despite quarantine, and made them write I did not follow the lockdown, I am sorry 500 times. CRACKED.COM — News18 India

23

HAWAII IS PAYING TO GET PEOPLE OFF THE ISLANDS. Self-isolating on arrival for 14 days is mandatory in Hawaii, and the Hawaii Tourism Authority put aside $25,000 for flight tickets for any visitors who refuse to do that and can't afford the flight home. CRACKED.COM — CNN

22

India's Karnataka state wants selfies every hour from quarantined people. - SAPNATURA Those in quarantine will have to download an app that they'll use to take a selfie once an hour from 7 AM to 10 PM. The app will send those selfies, and the phone's GPS coordinates, to the government. CRACKED.COM — Buzzfeed News

21

Australia is getting homeless people into five-star hotels. PAN PACIFIC Perth PAN PACIFIC PERTH Right now, they have a pilot scheme that moved 20 homeless people in Perth into the Pan Pacific hotel. If that goes well, the project could also cover domestic abuse victims and people with mental health problems. CRACKED.COM — The Independent

20

FINLAND HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE JUST FOR KIDS. PM Sanna Marin In a livestreamed conference, Prime Minister Sanna Marin, Minister of Education Li Andersson, and Minister of Science and Culture Hanna Kosonen fielded questions from children. The questions ranged from what the situation in Finland is, to what kids can do (their school work was the answer). CRACKED.COM — Yleisradio Oy

19

When healthcare.gov launched and immediately crashed, the government paid $4 million to fix it. Affordable Care Act That money went to the same contractor who screwed it up. Despite the fact that the flaws were generated by the contractor, the CMS withheld only $267,420 of the $4 million. http://www.bloomberg com/news/articles/2015-09-22/u-s-paid- CRACKED.COM healthcare-gov-contractor-4-million-to-fix-its-own-mess — 20 Times Tax Money Was Flushed Down The Toilet

18

DANISH POLICE ARE ASKING FOR PROOF OF RELATIONSHIP FROM VISITORS. Danmark XII People from other Scandinavian countries and from Germany can visit, but only for a legitimate purpose, . like for an in-person (not online) relationship at least six months long. But they have to bring proof-like a photo, a love letter, text messages, etc. Eventually, the government said even a written declaration is enough. CRACKED.COM — Deutsche Welle

17

Tunisia is enforcing the lockdown with a robot. Remotely operated, it patrols Tunis, the capital, and scolds lockdown violators with What are you doing? Show me your ID. You don't know there's a lockdown? CRACKED.COM — The Guardian

16

The Malaysian government told women in lockdown to be Stepford wives. Elak pakai pakaian rumah. Bertatahias seperti biasa, bersolek dan berpakaian kemas. Official advice said women should wear makeup, dress up, and not nag their husbands. The government later apologized, saying they were just trying to maintain positive relationships among family members. CRACKED.COM — The Guardian

15

Japan is planning to use AI to help people successfully date and find long-term partners. It's part of Japan's plan to get its birth rate up, and it involves applying AI to the matchmaking services that local governments already run. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — BBC

14

Portugal is making sure everyone in the country can get medical care. The government gave migrants and asylum seekers full citizenship rights, so they could get full access to healthcare, until June 30. CRACKED.COM — CNN

13

Venezuela created a Deputy Ministry of Supreme Social Happiness. The new ministry's job would be to look after our elderly men and women care for our boys and girls, Nicolas Maduro announced. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — The Daily Beast

12

Italy and COVID

Italy is considering separating people into COVID-immune and COVID-susceptible. Matteo Renzi A regional president suggested a license for people with COVID antibodies, and former prime minister Matteo Renzi talked about a Covid Pass. Germany is considering a similar plan. CRACKED.COM — The New York Times

11

PARTYING POLICE FROM A S IN TENTER KB462 NOTE 98601 VEGAS THE KB I KB46 B2 TESDER PRODUTE 110 LASS AZO - adidas de live Disney Cashier hollywooo I O مسيعة 46 ph DXCIDES M BE are CRACKED COM MA FOR Colour Good In 2010, the GSA spent $800,000 on a conference in Vegas, with in-room parties, giant sushi bills, and tens of thousands spent on КВ team building. The GSA is the agency in charge of eliminating 846279 60 I government waste. من — The Atlantic

10

Project Stargate was a 20-year government program launched in 1978. The project employed 22 full-time psychics. Apparently Command heard rumors that the Soviets were using psychics for military intelligence, and they didn't want to be left out. The psychics were used to telepathically view distant locations, looking for military installations. CRACKED.COM http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,983829,00.html — 20 Times Tax Money Was Flushed Down The Toilet

9

Japan's government once created an initiative called Let's Stockpile Toilet Paper. It was part of a response to toilet paper shortages after the 2011 earthquake and tsunami, and it tried to get households to keep a month's worth of TP. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Japan Times

8

Colombia used a Christmas-themed ad campaign to get guerrilas to go home. They put up Christmas trees in the jungle, with the message If Christmas can come to the jungle, you can come home. Demobilize. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — PRI

7

In the city of La Paz, Colombia, people dressed up in zebra costumes direct traffic. Unlike police, they just kind of nudge you into behaving well -- for example, if you stop your car on a pedestrian crossing, they'll lie across the hood. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — The Atlantic

6

Camouflage

KB46279 FOR STO HUMAN TEKOTA PRODUTO B2 KB48^ Cabel BAD САМО HENERVE NOTE BAL HUNDRED the 46279860I B2 H TESDER NATURAL POLICE - China Wine D CRACKED.COM One more Afghanistan expense (out of many, many more): $28 million for licensing fees to give Afghan KB4 soldiers camo. Camo which doesn't actually work as camouflage in the desert. A different, licence-free 60 I pattern would have worked. — Inspector General

5

INTER HUMA TENCER FOR S KB46 WEB NOTE KB FEDERAL NOTE B SCREW-UPS I 0986 LB 46279860I adidas TOSTA NOT not adidas Close PREMIE www.ellthcare.gov ME - live HealthCare.gov Learn Get 46 All T Small Businesses Individuals & & Families CRACKED CON $4 million is not the amount spent on the site HealthCare.gov. $4 million is just the additional amount spent in the opening days after the site failed : ... the amount sent to the same contractors who screwed the site up 46279 160 I in the first place. 860 I — Bloomberg

4

The IRS

KB462798 FOR NITE MINERO UNK TECH PRODUTO B2 KB48 The Endols Tobal FUNNY Og the VIDEOS 60 JAM TENDER AND em NOTE J THE Blue - live : 46 CRACKED.COM HD PER Tolem Cookeds Your In 2010, the IRS commissioned videos parodying Star Trek and Gilligan's Island to air at a training contest. The Trek one, at least, offered zero training information, so the IRS's initial defense of it 60 I failed, and they apologized. — AP

3

FOR THE INTER - USA TEXTURE R KB46 A VEGGIE G DEITAL HEREKYS NOTE 46279860I VIDEO GAME THE TESDER PRODUCE AND . NORT Disney Zacheli ME - live INTOINO 12 Kiddo 3 It's a veggie and if you want dessert, you have to taste it GRAGKED.COM The NIH spent $1.55 million on a video game app called Kiddio: Food Fight. In it, you play a mother KB4 persuading her kid to taste veggies. It did not actually prove popular among parents, who have better 60 I things to do in their spare time. — U.S. News

2

NIS FOR TENDER AND KB46 HUNDRED and A SUPER FEDERAL HENEIVE NOTE SOFF BOWL AD KB 46279860I B2 TESDER PRODUTE 110 - NOT - Close - Date live 0 40 GRAGKED.COM 2011 you The Census Bureau spent $2.5 million in 2010 on a Super Bowl ad with B-list celebs. The government kind of has better ways of reaching KB g people. This ad, say experts, targeted those who'd likely have answered the census anyway. 60 I — NPR

1

FOR NIS A MSA TEKOTA S PRODUTO KB45 ONE HUNDRED THE FACEBOOK ITAL HENERVB NOTE 3 / LIKES KB46279860I B2 RU TESDER PRODUTE 110 LESS - NOT - - Done Bibal - - CLASS live DEF HS UNITED ST GRACKED GOM DIO PER Coolede The State Department spent $600, ,000 in 2012 to attract fans to its Facebook page. Shockingly, KB4 this did nothing to raise America's standing in the world, not even in terms of the sad metric of social 46279 60 1 media engagement. 860 I — Washington Post

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Movies & TV

5 Failed Attempts to Americanize Hit British Sitcoms

Science & History

Here’s When Cheese Stopped Being Real

Movies & TV

This Is the Only Song Monty Python’s Eric Idle Wrote With George Harrison

Science & History

21 Things We Can't Believe You Can Legally Own

Movies & TV

Nirvana’s First ‘SNL’ Appearance Was Nearly a ‘Titanic-Level Disaster’

Movies & TV

40 Jokes, References and Callbacks Hidden Under Thick Layers of Irony and Exposition

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

20 ‘Unrealistic’ Parts of Movies That Are Actually Accurate

2

35 Stories That Sound Too Far-Fetched to Be True

3

5 Failed Attempts to Americanize Hit British Sitcoms

4

13 Artifacts Humanity Lost In The Dumbest Ways

5

Sarcastic Songs Everyone Takes Seriously