The Subtle IMDb Homage to Homer Simpson Forgetting the Title of ‘Speed’

20 Famous People Who Had the Steepest Recent Downfalls

Before Launching ‘South Park,’ Matt Stone and Trey Parker Used to Fart on Celebrities for Fun

Bill Murray Plays A-Holes for Atonement: ‘I Know I’ve Done Some Damage’

40 Nerdy Bits of Pop-Culture Trivia That Built a Transformation Chamber That Suddenly Made Them Extremely Suave and Attractive

35 Sex Horror Stories That May Make Us Celibate

Oh. Oh no

35 Sex Horror Stories That May Make Us Celibate

August 20, 2023

Sex — that activity nearly everyone enjoys participating in! After seeing some of these horror stories, however, we’re rethinking that.

35

SEMEN ALLERGIES CRACKED.COM No, we're not talking about being allergic to your partner's semen. We're talking about being allergic to your own. It can lead to swelling and choking, and not the fun kind. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

34

AN ITALIAN COUPLE MAKING LOVE IN THE WATER OFF PORTO SAN GIORGIO FOUND THEIR GENITALIA INEXTRICABLY LOCKED TOGETHER. THEY WERE VICTIMS OF PENIS CAPTIVUS, IN WHICH A PENIS GETS TRAPPED INSIDE A VAGINA. THE PAIR WERE TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL, WHERE THE WOMAN WAS GIVEN AN INJECTION TO DILATE HER CERVIX. GRACKED COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

33

CRACKED.COM Always use protection when giving rim jobs! In 2014 a man went to see a doctor after suffering from weeks of diarrhea. After providing a stool sample, he found out he was suffering from giardia, an intestinal parasite, which he almost certainly contracted from ass-to-mouth contact. While he did eventually fully recover, the treatment took months to complete. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

32

In 2011, a woman fooled around with a male friend near a relative's grave. A tombstone fell on her leg, and she ended up in the hospital. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

31

A French couple's nude bodies were found in the moat of a 19th century Napoleonic fort. Police speculate that they were having a tryst and fell into the moat 40ft below. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

30

CRACKED.COM A Texas doctor encountered a woman whose boyfriend had given her oral sex immediately after eating spicy food. The resulting transfer of hot sauce was so caustic that the unfortunate woman had to be treated for burns on her genitals. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

29

In a 1996 one-night stand, Sandra Orellana jumped up to sit on a balcony railing, to have sex. But she fell eight stories, and the drop killed her. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

28

TRAPPED PENIS GRAGKED.COM Paramedics have to regularly intervene when men insert their penises in pool suction fittings and get them stuck there. Florida is particularly good about reporting these incidents. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

27

UNREMOVABLE RINGS GRAGKED.COM First the good news: getting your penis stuck in a ring generally does not lead to amputation. But the bad news: men get stuck in rings a LOT. Hospitals have to stock jeweler's saws to free them. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

26

DEER TONGUE CRACKED.COM A 29-year-old woman went to the hospital complaining of missed periods. Doctors extracted from her vagina a 3-inch deer tongue, which she had masturbated with. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

25

PARALYSIS CRACKED.COM After a night with a partner, a New Zealand woman found herself partially paralyzed because of a hickey. The neck suction created a clot in a major artery, which caused a stroke. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

24

Greek Law

RADISH INSERTION GRAGKED.COM The ancient Greeks wrote of rhaphanidosis, a punishment for adultery. The cuckold was to thrust a radish into the homewrecker's rectum. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

23

PENIS FRACTURE CRACKED.COM Yes, it can happen. If an erect penis suddenly bends, the result may be a loud cracking sound, dark bruising of the organ, and (obviously) unspeakable pain. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

22

BLINDNESS CRACKED.COM Doctors have recorded repeated instances of people going blind thanks to vigorous sex. It has to do with how movement causes matter in the arteries to restrict blood flow. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

21

There have been at least five cases where people suffered lacerations from their Henry masturbation 200 session with a vacuum cleaner. Don't do it guys. It's not worth it. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

20

GRACKED.COM A woman from Birmingham, UK contracted a flesh-eating disease after she got injured during a sex game. Katie Widdowson, 24, hurt her wrist while being restrained by her boyfriend during sex. Initially thought to be a sprain, she later found out that she had in fact contracted Necrotising Fasciitis, a rare flesh-eating bug. She died shortly after. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

19

A Pennsylvania man plugged nipple clamps into an electric strip and used them on his wife. Не shocked her three or four times, and the last time, she fell over dead. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

18

An endoscopy department in Milan had to come up with a new technique to remove a massive 23 dildo from a 31-year- old man's rectum. It was too smooth for the normal procedure, and they had to create a new lasso-like tool to get it out. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

17

A 70-year old man was rushed to the hospital... ...because he had a fork stuck in his penis. It was found out that he had been using it for sexual gratification. GRAGKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

16

A fitness trainer will tell you to work hard. But a weightlifter in Germany took it too far. Не managed to get his penis stuck inside the hole of a dumbbell disc. Fortunately for him, the firemen were able to break the WORK disk before any HARD permanent damage occurred. GRAGKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

15

CRACKED.COM When having sex while driving, a Washington couple crashed into a tree. They had to go to the hospital for treatment of broken bones. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

14

DEAFENING KISSES GRAGKED.COM After a passionate kissing session, a woman arrived in the hospital deaf in one ear. The reduced pressure in the mouth had pulled her eardrum out of alignment. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

13

YOUTUBE FAME DECCORANT ORANT 10011 SPIRITY DEODORANT DORANT DECOORANT DECOORANT ODORANT CODORANT SPRIN BODYSPRAY YSPART ODYSPARY BOOYSPRAY BOOYSPRAY BOYSPRAY AXF AXE AXE CLICK AXE AXE AXE SPO pass temptation AXE MUSK DEEP BLA 2012-- Excite AXE SPACE AXE APOLLO FINAL EDITION FOND Free ... 1,201 ozoz CRACKED.COM 6102 It was bad when a random hookup ended with a can of body spray shoved up a man's ass. It was worse when he went to the hospital and docs posted video of the extraction online. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

12

TESTICULAR TORSION CRACKED.COM Have sex too enthusiastically, and a testicle might rotate, constricting the spermatic cord. This cuts off the blood supply and chokes the testicle. Seek medical attention! — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

11

STOLEN PATERNITY CRACKED.COM A woman kept collecting her boyfriend's semen by nabbing their used condoms. She used it to get in-vitro. Не only learned the truth when the fertility clinic wrote to say he had twins. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

10

ORAL SEX EMBOLISMS GRAGKED.COM Air blown into the vagina during oral sex squeezes through the Fallopian tubes into the bloodstream, leading to frothy blood-and death. It's called sexual pneumoperitoneum. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

9

JUST, PAIN ALL OVER 5 Av- Bryant DALLA Park CRACKED.COM A couple in New York suffered a spinal fracture, a broken thigh, and severed toes from having sex. Of course, this was because they had sex on subway tracks, and then a train came by. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

8

YAWNING ORGASMS NOC 51672-4012-5 90 Copy ClomiPRAMINE Hydrochloride Capsules AND de 50 mg Keep this and all medication but if the reach of children CRACKED.COM The antidepressant Clomipramine has the side effect orgasms with each yawn, in both women and men. It can also have the side effect of impotence, though, so it's a gamble. — Source: 15 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Wrong

7

A Cameroonian woman had her appendix removed after experíencing a whole week of constant pain in her lower abdomen. Large intestine Small intestine STOP Appendix The doctor then found pieces of condom in her dissected appendix. As it turned out, she accidentally swallowed a condom while performing fellatio on her boyfriend two weeks prior. CRACKED COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

6

CRACKED.COM While having some solo fun with a drinking glass in his butt, a man lost control of it, and it got stuck. When it BROKE he went to the hospital and got it removed. Stunningly, there was no bleeding. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

5

In 2011, a Tennessee couple tried to heat things up in the bedroom by having him eat a melted giant gummy bear off of her body. Unlike massage wax, however, sugar melts at a very high CRACKED COM temperature, sending them to the hospital with severe burns on her breasts... and his tongue. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

4

A completely intoxicated Kansas man had the police called on him because he was making sweet, sweet love to a car' tallpipe. S CRACKED.COM The police found the man lying underneath the car where he was tased and arrested. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

3

A 27-year-old Maryland woman was POWER SABER SAW rushed to the hospital after her man got the bright idea to use a dildo on her, which he had attached to a The saw went right through the toy. The woman eventually recovered. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

2

A Spanish couple were having sex on top of a covered well when the cover slipped, and the woman fell down the thirty-foot shaft. Her lover fled the scene. Firefighters, responding to an anonymous call, found the woman naked, soaking wet, and suffering from shock and hypothermia. CRACKED.COM — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

1

CRACKED.COM 1 CM 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 11 12 13 14 19 9 1 Z After using an iron ring as a с*ck ring, a man found himself stuck. After two days with a constant erection, he went to the doctor. It had to be cut off with a modified dental drill. — Source: 22 Ways Sex Can (And Did) Go Horrifyingly Wrong

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Trivia & Jokes

26 ‘The Beatings Will Continue Until Moral Improves’ Work Stories

Movies & TV

Ryan Reynolds Once ‘Manifested’ Playing Mac’s Boyfriend on ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’

Movies & TV

40 Familiar Names That Have an Astounding Backstory

Movies & TV

Don’t Sleep on ‘Mythic Quest,’ Rob McElhenney’s OTHER Dark Comedy

Music

5 Irreplaceable Musical Recordings That Were Lost Forever

Trivia & Jokes

40 Random Bits of Trivia Our Roommate Was Hoarding Under Their Bed

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

29 Dastardly Marketing Schemes That Bore Their Way Into Your Brain

2

5 Places on Earth We Haven’t Gotten Our Grubby Human Hands on Yet

3

15 Of The Funniest Jokes From Fav Comedians

4

20 ‘Unrealistic’ Parts of Movies That Are Actually Accurate

5

18 Historical Practical Jokes That Are Still Funny Today