16 Ancient Gods That Are Metal As All Hell

Baron Samedi didn't have to go so hard
16 Ancient Gods That Are Metal As All Hell

The Egyptians have the god of vengeance. The Greeks have the god of ritual madness. But you’re stuck with the god of guilt. If you’re looking for an upgrade in the worship department, look to Marvel for Thor & Loki, and look to this list for 15 others!

Seth

SETH Not Rogen, Meyers, Green or some random dude in your homeroom, Seth is the Egyptian god of chaos, bloodshed, deserts, and storms. Не killed one of Egypts most powerful gods, Osiris, by fooling him into lying down in a coffin, and sealing it shut.

The Morrigan

THE MORRIGAN GRACKED.COM In Irish mythology, this Phantom Queen seduced the dying toward death. The Irish war goddess was a figure of the battlefield, taking the form of one or three huge crows, she rained fire and terror over opposing armies before eating the dead.

Hades

HADES CRACKED.COM Greek god of death, the dead, and the underworld itself. Ancient Greeks believed the only thing more powerful than giving life was the power to take it away, and thought of Hades as a door-to-door debt collector of souls.

Apep

APEP GRACKED.COM This giant serpent god represented all things dark, evil, and unruly. In ancient Egypt, the sun god, Ra, was reborn every morning after Apep slaughtered him every night. Also known as 'Eater of Souls', even the dead feared his appearance.

Prometheus

PROMETHEUS CRACKED.COM One of the most popular Titan gods in Greece, Prometheus molded mankind out of clay. Не grew fond of us cute little humans, so when Zeus took away our fire, Prometheus stole it from the heavens and gave it back to us. Thanks, Pops.

Nergal

NERGAL CRACKED.COM The Mesopotamian god of plague, war, and the underworld, but also protection, peace, and vegetation? It seems ancient people were torn-They believed Nergal's savage, warlike nature also made him good for defending the realm, and necessary for peace.

Kali

KALI CRACKED.COM This Hindu goddess slays and feasts in a necklace of skulls. Goddess of destruction, Kali appears in a constant state of bloodthirsty ecstasy, and is usually depicted as wielding weapons and hoisting bloody heads with four or more arms.

Itzpapalotl

ITZPAPALOTL CRACKED.COM Looking for a skeletal goddess and former star demon? This Aztec goddess flies on obsidian wings tipped with claws of flint, and legend has it, she appears as a beautiful woman of the Mexican court before exploding into a terrifying demon creature.

Huitzilopochtli

HUITZILOPOCHTLI Not a keyboard smash, this Aztec war god was a key figure in the founding of present-day Mexico. When his goddess mother was attacked by 400 stars, he emerged from her womb fully armed, and killed them all. Aztecs offered him the still-beating hearts of war prisoners.

Horus

HORUS After Seth (that bro from earlier) murdered Horus' father, Osiris, Horus took revenge by killing Seth in battle, even after Seth took his eye. Не was the falcon-headed god of vengeance, war, protection, and light, and he watched over Egypt with his one good eye.

Dionysus

DIONYSUS CRACKED.COM Dionysus was a crowd-pleaser and a party boy in ancient Greece. Sure, Jesus turned some water into wine, but the Greeks had the god of wine, fertility, ritual madness and theater all in one.

Baron Samedi

BARON SAMEDI CRACKED COM The Deity of the dead in Haitian Voodoo, he is noted for obscenity, debauchery, and a love of tobacco and rum. Better stay on his good side, because if you're ill, he can either heal you, welcome you into the realm of the dead, or resurrect you as a zombie.

Aphrodite

APHRODITE CRACKED.COM A Greek goddess born from the foam of Uranus' severed genitals? Sometimes known as the goddess of war and the sea, but she's more popularly known as the goddess of love and sexuality - even though her name is derived from the Greek word for foam.
ANUBIS CRACKED.COM Known as the Divine Embalmer, he mummified the dead and guided their souls to the afterlife. With the head of a jackal and the body of a man, he also stood for renaissance and the staining of bodies after the embalming process.

Vulcan

VULCAN Not Spock and his humanoid species - Vulcan is the Roman god of fire and forging metals. Sicily's Mt. Etna was the first to be called a Volcano in 1610 by Romans who believed that Vulcan beat red-hot metal with enough force to create eruptions.

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?