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24 of the Most Hilariously Unconventional Weapons Ever Created

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24 of the Most Hilariously Unconventional Weapons Ever Created

August 09, 2023

We love to make fun of the James Bond franchise for its goofy gadgets. Exploding pens and metal JAWS can’t exist in the real world, right? Or think about Batman. That dude once fended off a freaking great white shark with a weapons-grade canister of something the writers decided to name “Shark Repellent Bat-Spray.” Surely weapons created IRL are taken a little more seriously than that.

Nope! Never underestimate humanity’s creativity when it comes to thinking of weird ways to attack and/or defend ourselves. Can you imagine a world in which random civilians all carried personal tear gas canisters under their sleeves? Well, that’s a world inventors in the 1930s imagined when they came up with the idea for the wrist-mounted tear gas gun. More on that and 23 other bizarre weapons from history below…

24

Early Weaponry

The Gun Shield CRACKED.COM This 6th-century death parasol was both impossible to aim and hard to fire. It likely held a musket ball that could just kinda... roll out at any time, and was fired by asking your enemy to please stop jostling while you fumbled with the fuse. — 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

23

The Ball Tank ROTATE HALVESTOR can INTAKE SUPPLIES SIGELL AIR TO MOTOR CXYOEN TANKS MACIONE MOTOR ENCLOSED TO OUN ELIMINATE DANGEA TURGET OF CARSON MONOXIDE SONING COACKEDo After WWI, everyone was clamoring to come up with ways to keep doing war, but with less bloodshed. A Texan inventor tried out this giant, opaque hamster ball with guns sticking out every which way. It did not work. — 7 Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built

22

Guns

The Harmonica Gun GRACKED.COM This gun, which functioned like Bugs Bunny eating a corncob, was nearly impossible to aim, since the weight was constantly shifting. Not to mention: if all its parts didn't line up perfectly, you'd blow your hand off instead of just blowing a sour note. — 7 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used

21

The taser glove Electric Glove for Police Stuns Victims With 1,500 Volts M ORE punch than can be found in a box- glove is contained in a new electric glove invented by Cirllo Diaz of Cuba for use by police while handling rough characters or in quelling riots. Persons contacted by an offi- cer wearing the glove receive a 1.500-volt shock, sufficient to remove all traces of fight. A half-pound battery worn on the belt sup- plies the power, all wiring being concealed beneath the coat. Police officials in New York where the de- vice was first demonstrated were favorably — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

20

Machine Gun Motorcycles

Machine gun motorcycles The Thompson Submachine Gun Mounted on a Motorcycle Sidecar Provides an Effective CRACKED.co Automobile Bandits. The View at the Right Shows the Substantial When police were first able to fire off a thousand rounds per minute in the 1920's, their first instinct was to mount that sucker to a motorcycle. Steering and aiming at the same time? What could go wrong! — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

19

The Drip Rifle CRACKED.COM When the Allies finally ditched the hopeless Gallipoli Campaign in WWI, a couple of ANZAC Troopers rigged Ottoman Bafflers. These rifles were Rube Goldberg'd to fire at regular intervals, using dripping water or burning candles to engage the trigger. This automated cover fire allowed most of the army to escape — The 6 Weirdest Weapons Ever Improvised in Battle

18

A Little Brain Donation For You

The Truth Chamber ter ab or CRACKED.COM The New York criminologist who designed the Truth Chamber intended it to drive suspects mad, by showing them infinite images of themselves. In reality, he just invented the original influencer-bait pop-up museum. — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

17

The Pain Ray CRACKED.COM Innocently named the Active Denial System, this is actually a ruck-mounted satellite that can cause you to feel like you're burning alive, without leaving any evidence of assault. — 14 Of The Most Overkill, Least Useful, Or Just Plain Weirdest Weapons Ever Invented

16

The glove pistol CRACKED.COM As recreated pretty accurately in Inglorious Basterds, the Sedgley oss .38 glove pistol was a little tiny gun mounted to a leather glove that could turn G.I. Joe into One Punch Man. — 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

15

Personal Tear Gas Gadgets Tear Gas Gun Wrist Is Fired on by Finger Ring Trigger ture. Below. illustration the sengers The little gt ESSEE which teat 225 gun with its muzzle pointi the used merely by valsing forward. is arm And beading the WRIXT strapped the wrist where den by the A thread of Besh-color catgut. invisible glance. connects worn the Tear *** teather Band RUN on write with get with to protect skin and feases gas from ting to trigger-to the can SHOT by a trigger ly. but when the writt is worn as finzer sharp angle, the is a ring, of wrist — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

14

Medieval knight armor CRACKED.COM Looking for a way to blind and humiliate your law enforcement officers? Look no further than this 1930's Parisian gas squad uniform. — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

13

Machine Gun Vest GRACKED.COM This garment was like a life vest that exploded with buckshot, instead of rapidly filling with air, and could be accidentally triggered by, say, a friendly high-five. — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

12

Key guns CRACKED Key guns allowed 16th century jailers to keep a weapon trained on their prisoners without hooking their trusty carabiner back into their belt loop. They were actual, functioning keys, though, leaving them weaponless at the moment of peak vulnerability. — 7 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used

11

The invisible torture ray CRACKED.COM The Pulsed Energy Projectile is actually a watered-down version of the Pulsed Impulsive Kill Laser. The exploding plasma it creates triggers its targets' nerve cells, causing them to experience sensations of extreme heat, extreme cold, extreme acid, or good old-fashioned paralysis. — 14 Comically Cruel, Idiotic Advancements In Military And Law Enforcement Technology

10

The Invisible Pain Fence CRACKED.COM The innocently named Portal Denial System can be set up in a hallway to deny entry to anyone who doesn't like getting severe - - though technically non-lethal - electric burns. — 14 Of The Most Overkill, Least Useful, Or Just Plain Weirdest Weapons Ever Invented

9

Weapons

Henry VIII's Gun Mace CRACKED.COM At one point, Henry VIII replaced his run-of-the-mill 1 fancy walking cane with this brutal-looking mace. Passersby wouldn't have known that it was also a loaded gun, which could fire four bullets at any time by lighting a fuse at the end of the handle. — 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

8

The Duck's Foot Pistol CRACKED.COM By nature of its four barrels pointing everywhere but straight, this thing was impossible to aim. It was mainly used by naval officers to visibly threaten mutually assured destruction, in case any mutineers had fantasies of ganging up on them in their cramped cabins. — 7 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used

7

The crowd- blinding rifle CRACKED.COM The Personal Halting and Stimulation Response rifle (PHASR) ((UGH.)) can blind multiple targets from far away, and almost definitely violates the 1995 Protocol on Blinding Laser Weapons. — 14 Comically Cruel, Idiotic Advancements In Military And Law Enforcement Technology

6

Corkscrew Tank CRACKED.COM The Soviets created this bizarro, inside-out Slap Chop that crawled across snow, ice, and even water, surprisingly well. The only downside was that it was essentially useless when it finally made it onto normal terrain. — 7 Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built

5

2-in-1 camera gun CRACKED.COM You know how police occasionally confuse their lethal and ss-than-lethal weapons in the heat of the moment? Make 'em both the same weapon, and your problem is solved! Simply squeeze a little bit to take a picture of your perp, and squeeze the normal amount to shoot him in the face. — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

4

Weird Weapons

The billy club gun CRACKED.COM Early 20th century police asked themselves how do we make the bayonet worse? The answer: make it heavier and more phallic, SO it's harder to aim, wield, and justify. — 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

3

The old-timey bicycle tank CRACKED.com The Russian Tsar Tank harnessed the grace and mobility of the penny-farthing, and blew it up to a Ferris wheel scale. The prototype got stuck in the mud and rotted there until the end of WWI. — 7 Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built

2

Airborn Aircraft Carriers CRACKED.COM Commerical and military engineers have tried everything from plane-encumbered blimps, to giant planes that tote several regular-sized planes, to the XF-85 Goblin a stubby little plane that would drop out of a regular-sized plane's bomb bay. — 7 Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built

1

Bank robber trap door CRACKED.COM One proposed solution to a scourge of bank robberies in the 1900's was to drop said criminals into a gross little dunk tank filled with stagnant water. — The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

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