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What's The Deal: A Brief History Of Coffee

A look into the history of coffee, abridged to a length that you won't need a cup to get through.

What's The Deal: A Brief History Of Coffee

August 29, 2021

A look into the history of coffee, abridged to a length that you won't need a cup to get through.

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Coffee Culture CRACKED.co .COM Caffeine is a lovely psychoactive substance that's not only infiltrated human culture, but cemented itself as an integral fuel for a productive world. In fact, with an estimated 2 billion cups consumed a day, it's the most popular drink in the world. But who were the first to boil the magic beans? — Source: British Coffee Association

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Go-Go Goat Juice CRACKED.CO CON According to legend, We owe goats the credit for discovering coffee. Around 850 AD, an Ethiopian farmer named Kaldi noticed his goats becoming energetic and refusing to sleep after eating the fruit of a certain plant. When he ate the fruit in question, he perked right up with them. — Source: National Coffee Association

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Coffee Origins

WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Monks, Meet Mocha CRACKED COM Kaldi brought his bean-based discovery to a local monastery. The monks brewed a tea with the curious plant, and found that it gave them the energy they needed to stay alert during evening prayer. Gotta be on your toes in case God decides to answer! — Source: National Coffee Association

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Papa Razi CRACKED.COM As far as the first WRITTEN appearance of coffee, We find that within the next few decades. A persian physician named Razi wrote of a medicine known as bunchum. Bunchum included bunn, which is the Ethiopian word for a coffee cherry. — Source: The Atlantic

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Joe On The Go CRACKED.com Once people starting making and tasting coffee, they figured out very quickly... this stuff ruled. One of the biggest early adopters were the Ottoman Empire, and coffee spread hand-in-hand with their conquests. Sure, your city got sacked, but try this cool drink! — Source: The Atlantic

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Coffee

WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS The Devil's Drink CRACKED.co .COM From there, coffee made its way to Europe in the 17th century, where Christians, as they are wont to do, decided it was evil. They asked the pope to ban it as an evil concoction, but he wanted to try it first, and luckily for future night shift workers, he loved it and told them to buzz off. — Source: National Coffee Association

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS The Bean Boom Orknew Rockall GROSS BRITANNIER und Glosgo Dundee Edisburgh Nordinanian Nordsee IRLAND Liverpool Baile Atha (Dath) certify Southampton Piymouth Bone Kap (brith) Chera Paris Orleans Nonfed FRANKREICH am CRACKED.COM Now that the big hat man had decided the black juice wouldn't send you to hell, Europe took to the drink with gusto. Coffeehouses quickly opened across the continent, in Venice in 1645, England in 1650, and France in 1672. Coffee crossed the pond in 1676, opening shop in Boston. — Source: The Atlantic

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Growing Pains CRACKED.COM Unfortunately Europeans found that their climate wasn't exactly coffee friendly. Mediterranean traders were all too happy to enjoy this monopoly until the Dutch finally managed to grow some in an Indonesian territory with a name more familiar to you than you might think: Java. — Source: National Coffee Association

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Adding A Twist CRACKED.CO From there it was off to the races, with cultures across the world changing and tweaking the beverage to their personal preference. You may want to thank the French troops at the Mazagran fortress for a particular fan favorite: they pioneered the cafe mazagran, the first iced coffee. — Source: Coffee Magazine

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WHAT'S THE DEAL: COFFEE ORIGINS Hail King Caffeine CRACKED.COM Nowadays it's hard to imagine as ubiquitous of a beverage, drunk by as large a variety of people, as a simple cup of joe. So the next time you sip your double mocha latte, give a little thanks to those pioneering goat psychonauts.

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