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14 Comically Cruel, Idiotic Advancements In Military And Law Enforcement Technology

From bikes to gloves to farts, scientists can truly weaponize anything.

14 Comically Cruel, Idiotic Advancements In Military And Law Enforcement Technology

August 02, 2021

If you're not careful, you might get taken out by a cop wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and wielding a gigantic fart gun.

14

The glove pistol CRACKED.COM As recreated pretty accurately in Inglorious Basterds, the Sedgley oss .38 glove pistol was a little tiny gun mounted to a leather glove that could turn G.I. Joe into One Punch Man. — 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

13

Bank robber trap door CRACKED.COM One proposed solution to a scourge of bank robberies in the 1900's was to drop said criminals into a gross little dunk tank filled with stagnant water. — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

12

2-in-1 camera gun CRACKED.COM You know how police occasionally confuse their lethal and -than-lethal weapons in the heat of the moment? Make 'em both the same weapon, and your problem is solved! Simply squeeze a little bit to take a picture of your perp, and squeeze the normal amount to shoot him in the face. — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

11

Machine gun motorcycles The Thompson Submachine Gun Mounted on a Motorcycle Sidecar Provides an Effective CRACKED.co Automobile Bandits. The View at the Right Shows the Substantial When police were first able to fire off a thousand rounds per minute in the 1920's, their first instinct was to mount that sucker to a motorcycle. Steering and aiming at the same time? What could go wrong! — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

10

The billy club gun CRACKED.COM Early 20th century police asked themselves how do we make the bayonet worse? The answer: make it heavier and more phallic, SO it's harder to aim, wield, and justify. — Source: 6 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used (Pt. 2)

9

The taser glove Electric Glove for Police Stuns Victims With 1,500 Volts M ORE punch than can be found in a box- glove is contained in a new electric glove invented by Cirllo Diaz of Cuba for use by police while handling rough characters or in quelling riots. Persons contacted by an offi- cer wearing the glove receive a 1.500-volt shock, sufficient to remove all traces of fight A half-pound battery worn on the belt sup- plies the power, all wiring being concealed beneath the coat. Police officials in New York where the de- vice was first demonstrated. were favorably — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

8

Lighthouse helmets 345 Lighthouse Helmet POLICE for Policemen on FORRY Days and Nights: Batteries Are Worn on: Belt CRACKED.COM These goof-ass electric beanies were intended for Foggy Days and Nights, but also presumably doubled as a hazing device to break the spirit of a new officer. — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

7

Key guns CRACKED.CO Key guns allowed 16th century jailers to keep a weapon trained on their prisoners without hooking their trusty carabiner back into their belt loop. They were actual, functioning keys, though, leaving them weaponless at the moment of peak vulnerability. — Source: 7 Awesomely Insane Guns People Actually Used

6

Medieval knight armor CRACKED Looking for a way to blind and humiliate YOUR law enforcement officers? Look no further than this 1930's Parisian gas squad uniform. — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

5

The invisible torture ray CRACKED.COM The Pulsed Energy Projectile is actually a watered-down version of the Pulsed Impulsive Kill Laser. The exploding plasma it creates triggers its targets' nerve cells, causing them to experience sensations of extreme heat, extreme cold, extreme acid, or good old-fashioned paralysis.

4

The Truth Chamber

The Truth Chamber ter or CRACKED.COM The New York criminologist who designed the Truth Chamber intended it to drive suspects mad, by showing them infinite images of themselves. In reality, he just invented the original influencer-bait pop-up museum. — Source: The 9 Most Hilariously Irresponsible Old-Timey Weapons

3

The Crowd- blinding rifle CRACKED.COM The Personal Halting and Stimulation Response rifle (PHASR) ((UGH.)) can blind multiple targets from far away, and almost definitely violates the 1995 Protocol on Blinding Laser Weapons.

2

The Old-Timey Bicycle Tank

The old-timey bicycle tank CRACKED.co The Russian Tsar Tank harnessed the grace and mobility of the e penny-farthing, and blew it up to a Ferris wheel scale. The prototype got stuck in the mud and rotted there until the end of WWI. — Source: 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built

1

The fart gun CRACKED.COM The Vortex Ring Gun is like one of those little drums that can knock over a Solo cup from across the table, except large enough to knock you on your ass, and full of a noxious chemical fart stink.

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