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13 Jokes From History That Show People Haven't Really Changed

Comedy hasn't evolved.

13 Jokes From History That Show People Haven't Really Changed

February 04, 2021

If your mom has ever told you, “Back in my day, we didn't make such crass jokes,” your mom is a liar. She even told me last night. Does that sound off? Too bad, I'm quoting Shakespeare… no, really. Don't let historic non-smiling portraits fool you; people from the past were just as bawdy as the teens on TikTok. Here are 13 jokes that will remind you people have always had the same sense of humor.

13

Classical Songs About Butts WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART We all know Mozart, but perhaps you don't know his songs Leck mich im Arsch (Lick Me In the Ass) or Bona Nox, which lyrics include Shit in your bed and make it burst/ GoOD night, sleep tight/ And stick your ass — Source: Mental Floss

12

Made-up definitions EOVUS SETANUS byl tatalny. 2t BENEDYKT JOACHIM CHMIELOWSKI Her nicfzctesliwego icfl: Bo Sejur P ro. nim zabity uy Syryi: Cafiur go y Ka- zgingl: Ansontus go doft ofzy V Krol Francufki zlowil S:eC HELENIA zobroza, od Jutius2A. teZ Smiercia. U PROBUSA Cef Augufts Cefarzow na lzyie lorona zinfkrypeya:

11

Classic College Poop Prank WILLIAM BUCKLAND When Buckland was at Oxford in the 1790s, he collected buckets of guano (bat poop) and spelled guano on the university's yard. The lawn was promptly cleaned, but the guano's fertilizer's properties made the grass in a distinct pattern spelling GUANO. — Source: NPR

10

Joke books have been around since Ancient Greece HIEROCLES AND PHILAGRIUS CRACKED'COM This joke comes from the 4th century collection Philogelos but reads like a line from Everybody Loves Raymond: A misogynist is attending to the burial of his wife, who has just died, when someone asks: Who is it — Source: BBC

9

Medieval monks liked to draw penises JOHN OF ARDERNE 9rn ofhn hd Ct m9n het nate i pmno ixiaontp A dick in a basket. That's just as likely to pop up in the margins of a textbook today as it was when this manuscript was painstakingly rendered in the — Source: Atlas Obscura

8

Renaissance artist hid naughty jokes in the background LORENZO LOTTO The sitter and the artist used well-known pieces in the background to stage a juvenile scene in this 1527 Italian painting Portrait of Andrea Odoni. — Source: BBC

7

There's a penis size joke in the Bible TYNWDTniN Vim7tine nwrnvrus CRACKEDCO In 1 Kings 12:10: But you shall speak to them, 'My little finger is thicker than my father's loins!' — Source: Bible Gateway

6

The oldest known joke is about farts A Sumerian proverb from 1900 B.C. goes, Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. — Source: BBC

5

Shakespeare made your mom jokes WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE From Titus Andronicus (written somewhere between 1588 and 1593): Demetrius: Villain, what hast thou done? Aaron: That which thou canst not undo. Chiron: Thou hast undone our mother. Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother. — Source: Shakespeare Standard

4

Faking an earthquake ANTHEMIUS OF TRALLES UTAA Pneinly Gaa y ICRACKEDCOM When the 5th century Greek architect Anthemius was mad athis neighbor, he created a device that used steam to simulate an earthquake in his neighbor's house. — Source: Magazine of Western History

3

Pranks calls had dark humor CRACKED CO In 1884 (eight years after the telephone was invented) the first prank callers would phone morticians to take a body away. When the undertaker arrived, the supposedly dead person would answer the door. — Source: Atlas Obscura

2

Fart jokes from the 14th century JEHAN DE GRISE The illuminated manuscript about Alexander the Great was completed in 1344, Flanders, included some visual gags, like the rancid farts of the bonacon. — Source: Early Music Muse

1

Footprints on the ceiling ABRAHAM LINCOLN CRACKED COM Young Lincoln saw two boys playing in mud. He asked them to come inside, and he lifted them up to walk across his family's ceiling, creating muddy footprints to prank his stepmother when she returned home. — Source: Mental Floss

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