29 Genius or Bonkers TV Shows and Movies That Died on the Vine

Man, a half-dozen more ‘90s ‘SNL’ movies would’ve been great!
29 Genius or Bonkers TV Shows and Movies That Died on the Vine

Don’t get us wrong, we had a pretty solid DVD collection growing up. All we’re saying is that this batch of titles could’ve given us so many more hours of entertainment. Heck, even the terrible ones could’ve given us some pretty great so-bad-it’s-good laughs. If not, they still would’ve been better than playing outside.

Suddenly, that dusty stack of DVDs in our mom’s basement closet just feels incomplete.

Slice O’ Life

COMEDY NERD Marc Maron and Rainn Wilson were both going to do a sitcom called Slice O' Life. It'd be about a TV news show about human interest stories. Maron would be a producer's assistant while Wilson would be a sound guy. CRACKED.COM

Bob Odenkirk and David Cross

COMEDY NERD After Bob Odenkirk and David Cross made Mr Show, they shot a new pilot. THE It was called David's Situation, and it had David Cross as himself - but they both lost interest in the project pretty soon. CRACKED.COM

Jordan Peele

COMEDY NERD Jordan Peele wrote Alligator Boots, a failed pilot from Kanye West himself. cy And it was a puppet show, of all things - and that was when Peele had just finished doing MadTV, and would soon start the Get Out script. CRACKED.COM

Susan 313

COMEDY NERD Sarah Silverman did a pilot loosely based on her life, Susan 313, that bombed. She ended up releasing it online for free much later and, looking back, she agreed that it didn't really work. CRACKED.COM

Chris Rock

COMEDY NERD Chris Rock wanted to make a comedy show with Cardi B, but it didn't take off. Не noticed her when she wasn't big yet, and thought she had great talent for comedy- but the show never got picked up. CRACKED.COM

High

COMEDY NERD Craig Ferguson and Zach Braff made a pilot for a TV show called High. ec со COMIC That was in 1989, and the cast included a young Gwyneth Paltrow, but the pilot never gained any traction. CRACKED.COM

Unemployable

COMEDY NERD Hannibal Buress did a pilot for a TV show about himself, called Unemployable. It would show just how totally unsuited he is to any job whatsoever besides being a comedian, but the network passed on it. CRACKED.COM

Getting It Together

COMEDY NERD A comedy group that included Chelsea Peretti wrote an Adult Swim pilot in 2012. It was called Getting It Together, and it was about four women who somehow end up living in a tree house in Central Park. CRACKED.COM

Deal

COMEDY NERD We almost got to watch Janeane Garofalo as a professional gambler on TV. That was the premise of the TV show Deal!, in which Garofalo played poker player Annie Duke (a real person). CRACKED.COM

Sick in the Head

COMEDY NERD There's an Amy Poehler pilot in which she played a sassy suicidal patient. A psychiatric patient, specifically-it was called Sick in the Head, and it was about a psychiatrist and various people in his life. CRACKED.COM

Nobody’s Watching

What better name for a failed pilot than nobody's watching BROWN CRACKED.COM Two dudes, including young Taran Killan, bet the WB they can make a funnier show than the network's 2006 comedy lineup (not the tallest mountain to climb). The barely aired show gained notoriety for massive (for 2006) YouTube views. Ironically, it's since been deleted.

Clerks

clerks could have used Kevin Smith SHOPLIFTING ma CRUMP - CRACKED.COM Instead, it substitues pre-famous Jim Breuer and Keri Russell for Jay and Silent Bob. To make the show network-friendly, this verson of Clerks loses the crass profanity and stoner ethos ... which were pretty much the main selling points for Clerks the movie.

Lookwell

Conan O'Brien and Bob Smigel created lookwell CRACKED.COM The perfect-for-today show starred Adam West in the kind of self-mocking role he'd later perfect on Family Guy. As Lookwell, West was an ex-TV cop who believes he can solve real-world crimes. Used to play detective... mind can't help but... make... deductions.

Justice League

justice league of america set back super-shows for a few years 5 CRACKED.COM What if sexy young heroes all lived in the same apartment complex -- you know, like Friends? The 1997 Justice League pilot shows us what a strange idea that would be. We'd watch to see M*A*S*H's David Ogden Stiers fight super-crime as a paunchy Martian Manhunter.

Mockingbird Lane

A 2010s Munsters reboot revisited mockingbird lane CRACKED.COM With so many horror-comedies hitting it big, a gory remix made sense. Jerry O'Connell as a stitched-together Herman, Portia de Rossi as macabre Lily, Eddie Izzard as bloodthirsty Grandpa--can we bring this one back?

Andy Kaufman

Andy Kaufman's robot pilot didn't stick around CRACKED.COM A year before Taxi, Andy starred as Andy, a malfunctioning android butler for a family in the year 2055. Android Andy's vocal patterns may sound a little familiar--he was clearly programmed by Latka Gravas.

Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow had big plans for north hollywood CRACKED.COM Who wouldn't watch an Apatow comedy about aspiring actors starring Amy Poehler, Jason Segel, Judge Reinhold, Adam McKay, and Kevin Hart? Apparently, idiot ABC executives. They didn't want to do edgy, experimental comedy, they wanted to go back to Happy Days.

The Jake Effect

Jason Bateman suffered from the jake effect CRACKED.COM NBC shot seven unaired episodes of The Jake Effect before deciding to pull the plug. Bateman was Jake, a disillusioned lawyer who turns to teaching in a Chicago high school. The show was reportedly good, but the no-go decision cleared Bateman to star in Arrested Development.

Heat Vision and Jack

The comedy stars aligned for heat vision and jack GRACKED COM The One that Got Away. Jack Black as a disgraced astronaut. Owen Wilson as the voice of his talking motorcycle. Ron Silver as Ron Silver, the NASA bigwig and occasional actor who is hunting them down. Did we mention Ben Stiller and Dan Harmon were masterminding this?

Coffee Talk

COFFEE TALK WAS NOT A MOVIE, DISCUSS UNPRODUCED CRACKED.COM BUT IT WAS A SCREENPLAY AT ONE POINT. MIKE MYERS (WHO MUST HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A DOZEN OF 'EM) WAS DEVELOPING A SCRIPT, BUT THE PROJECT WAS AXED AFTER THE JOYLESS FAILURE OF OTHER MID-90S SNL FILMS. NO BIG WHOOP.

Dieter

DIETER LAUNCHED MASSIVE LAWSUITS UNPRODUCED CRACKED.COM MYERS HATED HIS OWN (FUNNY!) SCREENPLAY, so НЕ BACKED OUT OF THE SPROCKETS MOVIE. UNIVERSAL SUED MYERS FOR $5 MILLION, THEN IMAGINE ENTERTAINMENT SUED FOR $30 MILLION. MYERS COUNTERSUED AND LONG STORY SHORT, WE WERE PUNISHED WITH 'THE CAT IN THE HAT'.

Ex-Presidents

EX-PRESIDENTS WAS WRITTEN ON SPEC UNPRODUCED GRACKED.COM ROBERT (TV FUNHOUSE) SMIGEL AND ADAM (ANCHORMAN) MCKAY HAD A BLAST WRITING AN EX-PRESIDENTS SCREENPLAY, HOPING TO PRODUCE IT FOR CHEAP. WHEN THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, SMIGEL TURNED THE SCRIPT INTO A GRAPHIC NOVEL.

Hans & Franz

HANS & FRANZ GOT BOMBED BY 'LAST ACTION HERO' UNPRODUCED CRACKED COM 'THE GIRLY-MAN DILEMMA' WOULD HAVE CO-STARRED ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AS HIMSELF. WHEN HIS 'LAST ACTION HERO' TANKED, ARNOLD GOT COLD FEET AND PULLED OUT, KILLING THE PROJECT. KEVIN NEALON DESERVED BETTER.

The SNL Movie

THE SNL MOVIE NEVER GOT PAST THE SCRIPT STAGE UNPRODUCED CRACKED.COM IN 1990, SNL WRITERS PENNED A SCREENPLAY FOR A 90-MINUTE FILM FEATURING CAST MEMBERS IN COMEDY SKETCHES, INCLUDING DANA CARVEY AS BUSH. MAYBE IT NEVER GOT MADE BECAUSE IT'S ON EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT FOR FREE?

Ambiguously Gay Duo

AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO WOULD HAVE BEEN LIVE-ACTION UNPRODUCED G SCREENWRITERS BOB SMIGEL AND STEPHEN COLBERT HAD NO INTEREST IN A MOVIE UNTIL THEY IMAGINED IT WITH REAL ACTORS. A FILM WITH VOICE ACTORS STEVE CARELL AND COLBERT DIDN'T HAPPEN, BUT A LIVE SKETCH WITH JON HAMM AND JIMMY FALLON AIRED ON SNL.

The Superfans

THE SUPERFANS HAD POLISH SAUSAGE LODGED IN ITS HEART UNPRODUCED B CHICAGO 9 CRACKED.COM CHRIS FARLEY'S MOVIE CAREER TOOK OFF JUST AS THE SUPERFANS MOVIE WAS BEING DEVELOPED. WHEN IT NO LONGER MADE SENSE FOR FARLEY TO DO AN ENSEMBLE PIECE, DA MOVIE WAS DOOMED. POUR ONE OUT FOR THE INEVITABLE DITKA CAMEO.

Sean Saves the World

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM IN 2014, NBC CANCELLED THE SITCOM SEAN SAVES THE WORLD. It featured Sean Hayes as a gay single dad, and the network ordered a total of 18 episodes - but it pulled the plug while five were still being filmed.

Marc Maron

COMEDY NERD In 2002, Fox agreed to produce a pilot for a show based on Marc Maron's act. It was supposed to be about Maron and his odd family, and the script got written but not made. CRACKED.COM

Star Wars Underworld

In 2005, ABC nearly launched a series called Star Wars Underworld. It was a mobster soap opera. Scriptwriters cranked out 50 hours' worth of what George Lucas figured would be The Sopranos in space-only instead of character actors, they'd have rubber-masked monsters. The series, which was set on Coruscant, would have been too expensive to produce, so the scripts were tabled. CRACKED.COM http://www.ew.com/article/2013/01/10/star-wars-live-action-tv-series-3

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