38 Random Bits of Digital Trivia That Has the Analog World Pounding on the Door Screaming, ‘Hey Guys, What’s Going on in There?’

All the stuff that’d terrify our ancestors
38 Random Bits of Digital Trivia That Has the Analog World Pounding on the Door Screaming, ‘Hey Guys, What’s Going on in There?’

We’ve all thought about bringing something like an iPhone back in time to get a reaction out of some Medieval peasants. We bet they’d think we were some sort of wizard or God or something (before they burned us at the stake).

Those few moments between the magic and the flames would be pretty cool, though. Luckily for us, the nonexistence of time travel stops our curious urge from becoming reality. For now, let’s enjoy these random tidbits about modern products and services. Who knows, maybe one day soon we’ll be doing a list on time machines!

Beats

CRACKED BEATS BY DRE HEADPHONES USED TO BE IN ALMOST EVERY MUSIC VIDEO. In 2008 alone, they were featured in music videos by Lady Gaga, Ludacris, Pussycat Dolls, The Game, Snoop Dogg, Solange, Busta Rhymes & Linkin Park. The company was sold to Apple for $3 billion.

Spotify Royalties

Very few artists make a living income off Spotify. CRACKED CÓM Out of seven million artists, only 13,000 will make above $50,000 through the platform.

Web Servers

In 1990, Tim 1994 1995 TA 1992 1993 1994 Berners-Lee created 199 the first web server. 1999 1997 The model DO NOT JOWN PROPRIETE CERN 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 That first server made the 1999 worldwide web 1990 possible. 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation CGI

Awful CGI MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION The Animality scene by the end of the Mortal Kombat sequel is an eye-scratching sight to look at. And before anybody defends it, allow us to remind you that in 1997 we had stuff like The Lost World and Men in Black, so CGI was doing pretty well back then. Oh, and that Annihilation had a $30 million budget. CRACKED.COM

Spotify Podcasts

Spotify is shifting focus to podcasts. GRACKED.COM While founded as a music streaming service, podcasts have slowly become Spotify's focus. The company has attributed music of its growth over the past few years to its growing podcast acquisitions like The Joe Rogan Experience.

Theranos

CRACKED Elizabeth Holmes' impossible vampire machine. A medical tech scam for the ages, Elizabeth Holmes advertised a revolution in retrieving blood samples. Theranos could supposedly do 240 tests on a tiny sample... but it was all a lie (that now has her facing up to 20 years in prison).

Hackable Pacemakers

CRACKED Hackable pacemakers that tug on your heartstrings. This revolutionary radio-controlled pacemaker was built without security against other frequencies. The possibility of hacking caused a recall of 500,000 after patients feared anyone with a wireless transmitter kit could play with their hearts.

Spawn CGI

Awful CGI SPAWN There's not enough snark in the world to make fun of Spawn's peak-'90s CGI. Almost everything looks off, but then there's the hell scene. Look at the crowds of copy- and-pasted characters. Look at the friggin' monster thing, Malebolgia, whatever, we'll call him Dumbassaroth, because he has weird hairs sticking out and speaks with his mouth open like a dumbass. CRACKED.COM

The Birth of the Word Meme

MEMES Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins gave us the word meme as a term to describe the aspects of a culture that spread and replicate over time. For some reason, the internet decided that meme was better suited for drawings of sad men made in MS Paint. CRACKED.COM

Confused Math Lady Meme

THE MEME: Confused Math Lady - nron 3 h V (2) 10 S кк² +bx+c o(3 Blend The meme was pulled from a THE Brazilian telenovela called AFTERMATH: Senhora do Destino, and features actress Renata Sorrah. She speaks four languages, and is still working steadily on TV. CRACKED.COM

Thor: Love & Thunder CGI

Awful CGI THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER If somebody had told us back in 2008 that the MCU would devolve into clumsy floating heads, we would have said yup, that's capitalism for ya, because we're cool (and friendless) like that. But it really must be stressed how ridiculous that floating head is - and no, Taika Waititi, your annoying character saying floating head alert does not make it funny. CRACKED.COM

Gemini Man CGI

Awful CGI GEMINI MAN Will Smith's last attempt at a big action blockbuster before you-know-what was a shameless vanity project of him getting jiggy with a younger CGI self. We're sure there's a Freudian significance in there somewhere, but we can't see it over the CGI Will Smith strutting like a GTA Vice City NPC (or like Will Smith walking back to his seat after you-know-what). CRACKED.COM

The Mummy Returns CGI

Awful CGI THE MUMMY RETURNS Apparently, Dwayne Johnson wasn't available for this scene, so the FX team just chanted ph'nglui mglw'nafh The Rock R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn and went with it. Really, when was the last time you actually took a ood look at the Scorpion King's CGI face? Look at him. Look at him and surrender your sanity. CRACKED.COM

The Apple-Spotify Feud

Apple and Spotify have a long running feud. CRACKED.COM The two tech giants have had multiple disputes with each other since 2019, when Spotify accused marketplace guideline changes as an attempt by Apple to gate keep the business. Spotify won a major victory in 2021 when the EU labeled Apple's practices as uncompetitive.

Equifax

CRACKED Cybersecurity for identity thieves. This consumer reporting agency left 147 million Americans' SSN's, birth dates, addresses, and driver's license numbers exposed. Over 209,000 peoples' credit cards were accessed, and Equifax is currently paying $425 million to victims. EQUIFAX

The Alex from Target Meme

THE MEME: Alex from Target 28 ST After his pic went viral, he THE wound up on Ellen, dropped AFTERMATH: out of school, then went on an influencers tour. But after a couple of years of living in the spotlight, he deleted his social media and disappeared. CRACKED.COM

Syahril Ramadan

Syahril Ramadan hilariously edits himself into pictures of celebrities and his works are so seamless that they look convincingly real. srdesignart ... Follow 76 ONE GRACKED.COM

Gingers Have Souls Guy

Remember The Gingers Have Souls Guy? Michael Kittrell gained notoriety in 2010 when his video GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!! went viral. The video garnered more than 40 million views on YouTube and was even spoofed on an episode of South Park. In late July 2016, Michael announced that he's now a woman after undergoing hormone replacement therapy. Michael Kittrell is now CLAIRE KITTRELL. CRACKED.COM

The Charlie Bit My Finger Brothers

IC The Charlie Bit My Finger brothers are now in the advertising business, starring in a tomato sauce commercial. RagirAmenica's 11 Parta Sauce & A LONG DAY OF CHILDHOOD CALLS FOR OldWorlds Style AMERICA'S RAGÚ FAVORITE Traditional Since PASTA SAUCE. Based on Nielsen 52 wk sales data ending 6/9/12 CRACKED.COM

Myspace Tom

Myspace Tom left Myspace in AX CHEF مع A 2009 after selling it for a cool best by $580 million in 2005. He's retired now of course, and uses that cash to travel the world and take INSANE photographs. CRACKED.COM

Bad Luck Brian

You probably know this character as Bad Luck Brian - the subject of an explosively popular Internet meme that put Brian in awkward or discomforting situations. What you might not know is that his real name is Kyle Craven, and he now works as the project manager of a company that builds churches. Не says that has earned between $15,000 -$$0,000 from Bad Luck Brian licensing and T-shirts. CRACKED.COM

Jeremy Meeks

Jeremy Meeks became the Internet's heartthrob when he was arrested in 2014 and his unusually good-looking mugshot hit the web. III Не was released He's under contract with the from prison in 2016 White Cross Management and started a agency and his Instagram modeling career. has half a million followers. CRACKED.COM

The Bed Intruder Viral Video

You might remember Antoine Dodson from the viral 2010 video, Bed Intruder. In 2013 Antoine announced on Facebook that he was the True Chosen Hebrew Israelite descendant of Judah, was no longer into homosexuality, and wanted a wife and family. In 2014 he and his wife welcomed their first child. CRACKED.COM

Russia’s Internet Blockade

Russian civilians are circumventing the country's internet blockade. VPN In order to bypass restrictions on accessing foreign social media and news sites, Russians are turning to VPN services to mask their location. CRACKED.COM

Source: Bloomberg 

Online Relationships

Almost half of relationships (in America) begin online. CRACKED.COM 40 percent of people say that their relationship began online in one form or another, whether that be dating apps like Tinder, or social media like Facebook.

Source: Pew

Vine

CRACKED VS VERDICT WINNER: VINE V For all its faults, Vine had the good sense to limit how long users could embarrass themselves in front of the camera, even when that made it easier for competitors to overtake Vine's spot in the social media hall of fame. CRACKED.COM

Myspace

JUSTIN 5 TIMBERLAKE MYSPACE REBOOT CRACKED.COM After getting its ass handed to it by Facebook, MySpace joined up with Justin Timberlake for a music-focused relaunch. Spoiler alert: No one cared. To make matters worse, Space accidently deleted 50 million songs by 14 million artists in 2019. Oops.

Vox

Facebook Dating

Facebook unveiled its new dating feature, simply called Dating. MODEI VACATION Conversatione You 28 Christine, 28 Facebook Dating will definitely us

The Success Kid Meme

In 2007, 'Success kid' meme took the Internet by storm. In 2015, Sammy, the boy in the meme, used his Internet fame to raise $100,00 for his dad's kid

Social Media Gurus

BRAND Social Media Gurus are everywhere. A recent count found 181,000 of them on Twitter, alone. MARKETING sUCL SALES Unless a person has a thorough u

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