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40 Random Bits of Historical Trivia We Yanked to the Present Day in A Game of Timeline Tug of War

Since we can’t bring the past to the future (yet), we thought we’d just bring it to the present

40 Random Bits of Historical Trivia We Yanked to the Present Day in A Game of Timeline Tug of War

March 21, 2025

Like any documentarian, we spoke to some historical facts that wanted their story told, and some that desperately did not. In the name of historical (and journalistic) integrity, we felt that we needed to include it all. If some events and figures had some less-than-flattering details, that’s on them! They should’ve thought about their precious reputations at the time!

So here’s an unbiased retelling of some admirable and unfavorable moments in history — whether they like it or not.

40

Thomas Paine

THOMAS PAINE had some pretty forward-thinking ideas. In his pamphlet Agrarian Justice from the late 1700s, he proposed a social welfare system, a universal minimum income, and a tax on wealth and estates - ideas pretty radical even now. CRACKED

39

Troy

Disrespectful uses of priceless artifacts Blowing up Troy Bombs are cool, the remains of the ancient city of Troy must also be cool, but they are not cool when put together. 19th-century grifter archaeologist Heinrich Schliemann found nine ancient cities in 1873, all layered on top of each other. Не then blew them up one by one to get to Troy-b but blew up the actual city. CRACKED.COM — Source

38

Plagues

CRACKED.COM THE BIBLICAL PLAGUE OF FROGS MIGHT HAVE BEEN JUST ONE HUGE FROG. We imagine the plague as a whole lot of frogs getting everywhere-but according to some medieval rabbis, it was just one big-ass frog that covered the entire land of Egypt with its gigantic body (and spawned normal-sized frogs every time it was hit). — Source

37

Tween World War II Soldier

A 12-year-old fought in World War II. When a tween boy lies to his mom about what he's doing, it's usually not to pretend to be older and enlist in the Navy, but that's exactly what Calvin Graham did. His military career ended when his mom spotted him in a newsreel. By then, he had a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star. GRACKED.COM — Source

36

The Skywayman

40 Random Bits of Historical Trivia We Yanked to the Present Day in A Game of Timeline Tug of War — More: 6 Super Dark Old Timey Celebrity Scandals

35

Mao Zedong

Mao Zedong initiated a campaign to crack down on people with the wrong opinions. CRACKED.COM In the Hundred Flowers Campaign, Mao Zedong in- vited people to openly ex- press their opinions and have free discussions. Once this happened, he cracked down on those who said the wrong things. — Source

34

The Sultana

The sinking of the Sultana was horrific, but no one paid attention to it. The steamboat Sultana was carrying over 2,000 recently-released POWs of the Civil War-most of whom died when the boilers exploded. It was a tragedy worse than the Titanic-and it was totally upstaged by the Lincoln assassination, which happened around those same days. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Count of St. Germain

COUNT OF ST. GERMAIN The 18th century musician rivaled Handel and climbed through high society despite his real name and origin being unknown. Не claimed to have lived for centuries and to be able to remove impurities from diamonds. CRACKED — Source: The Musical Times and Britannica

32

Prohibition

The repeal of the prohibition of alcohol in 1933 led to the emergence of the modern CRACKED.COM drug cartels. Crime syndicates needed a replacement for their source of income, and drug trafficking was the best alternative available. — Source

31

The Bone Wars

Two paleontologists fought the so-called Bone Wars in the late 19th century. It was just two very angry nerds going at each other, and it included stuff like fossils being destroyed so the other guy wouldn't find them. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

Lenin

Lenin's dead body is bathed and dressed in new clothes every year. The body is kept under very warm and soft lighting which makes the discolored hair and yellowed skin a bit less noticeable. The public tomb is in the center of Moscow, despite his death wish to be buried next to his wife. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — BBC

29

Alla Nazimova

Actor & Screenwriter CRACKED.COM Alla Nazimova The Hollywood silent film star starred in Oscar Wilde's Salomé, which was rumored to have an entirely gay/bisexual cast and crew. Her home was a haven for the lesbian and bisexual community, which she called her sewing circle. — Source: Legacy Project Chicago

28

Betty Robinson

THE WOMAN WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE TO WIN GOLD IN THE OLYMPICS After winning the first track and field gold for women in the 1928 Amsterdam Olympics, Betty Robinson was in a plane crash. When she was found, she was assumed dead. The doctors thought she would never walk again. In 1936 Olympics, she ran the 4x100 relay and won her second gold. CRACKED.COM — Source: WBUR

27

Finding Neverland

40 Random Bits of Historical Trivia We Yanked to the Present Day in A Game of Timeline Tug of War

26

Blind King John

A blind king fought and died in a battle during the Hundred Years War. CRACKED GOM Blind King John of Bohemia ordered his men to tie their horses to his and guide him into the battle. As the battle turned sour, he was advised to flee but he replied Far be it that the King of Bohemia should run away. — Source

25

Potatoes

The potato comes from a wild plant located in Peru. CRACKED.COM It was completely unknown to the rest of the world until Spain's conquest of the Americas in the 1600s. — Source

24

Ancient Dentistry

Ancient civilizations had dentistry. 9,000 years ago Pakistan had dental drilling, 2,500 years ago Native-Americans would pimp out teeth with gemstones, and ancient Egyptians even invented breath mints and surprisingly good toothpaste. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

Emperors

Qin Shi Huang ate mercury pills. The first emperor of China died in 210 BC ate mercury pills, believing they would give him eternal life. They had the opposite effect. CRACKED.COM — Source

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22

Menko

Pogs were a rip-off of the Japanese game Menko. Menko's been popular since the 1600s, travelling to Hawaii when Japanese people imigrated in the early 20th century. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Spartan Soldiers

CRACKED SPARTANS AS ANCIENT SUPER-SOLDIERS. It's a common misconception that Spartans were the best warriors in ancient Greece. In fact, there's no proof that they were particularly good at fighting in the Archaic period. Their fame mainly comes from their victory at the Battle of Thermopylae.

20

Ancient Egyptians

ANCIENT ENGINEERING THE NILOMETER For over 5,000 years, the Egyptians have had a tool called the Nilometer to measure the water level of the Nile. It was used to predict the river's behavior and decide how much money to collect in taxes. CRACKED — Halit Sadik/Shutterstock
Atlas Obscura

19

Black Cats

CRACKED WHY ARE BLACK CATS UNLUCKY? Black cats have been associated with bad luck for centuries, with origins in ancient Egypt, Greek mythology, and the early Christian church's fear of witches and their pets. Different cultures have different beliefs about the luck associated with black cats. — History / Reader's Digest

18

Wanyan Chenglin

Shortest Reigns Wanyan Chenglin Also known as Emperor Mo of Jin, Wanyan Chenglin was the shortest-ruling Chinese emperor. Не inherited the position in 1234 after the last great battle in the Mongol conquest of China, but was then immediately killed while trying to defend his city. 1 day CRACKED.COM — Public Domain
Wikipedia

17

Prudish Romans

Romans were kinda prudes. Roman art has always led us to assume their culture was all about grape-eating orgies. However, regular people would only have sex at night with their clothes on, and they didn't even get the whole orgy concept. The image actually comes from the most predictable source ever: Good ol' moral-panicky, culture-war-manufacturing Christian propaganda. CRACKED.COM — Konstantin L/Shutterstock
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16

Greek Reason

Ancient Greece wasn't all about reason. There wasn't even a unitary ancient Greece to begin with. Instead, it was all corruption, superstition, illiterate people, a bunch of city-states warring with each other, and the greatest minds being poisoned (just for criticizing democracy). CRACKED.COM — The Death of Socrates, by Jacques-Louis David
5 Ridiculous Lies You Believe About Ancient Civilizations

15

The Western Zhou Dynasty

Abuse of the smoke signal led to the fall of the Western Zhou Dynasty around the 8th century ВСЕ. 0$6 the King You of Zhou had a habit of fooling his war- lords with false warning beacons in order to amuse his queen. When an actual rebellion occurred, no one came to the aid of the king. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Vibrant Dot

14

Ancient Doodles

Handwriting lessons from the 13th century survived on a piece of birch. CRACKED.COM Onfim was a six or seven year old boy that lived in Russia during the 13th century who had written letters and drew pictures on birch bark. Onfim's notes describe life in Medieval times impartially and can be studied as social history. — History Daily

13

King Tut

King Tut was buried with a dagger made from a meteorite. CRACKED.COM The Egyptians most likely didn't have the technology to craft a weapon from meteorite debris, so some believe it either came from a more advanced civilization, or was left behind by aliens. — History

12

The Pythagorean Theorem

ANCIENT EGYPTIANS KNEW THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM 1400 YEARS BEFORE PYTHAGORAS LIVED с b a It makes sense that Ancient Egyptians would be very familiar with triangles. It is believed that Pythagoras traveled to Egypt about 535 вс, and that's where he learned about it. CRACKED.COM — Source: Britannica

11

World War I

World War I GRAGKED.COM When Russia exited World War I, they scheduled a peace conference, and the Bolsheviks made a point of bringing along a soldier, a sailor, and an urban worker to hammer home that communism was about the common people. But the politicians were on their way to the train station when they realized they'd forgotten to bring a peasant. So they grabbed a random elderly guy in ratty clothes and brought him along to meet royalty. — Source: 20 Facts That Change How You Picture Historical Events

10

Egypt

For a while, in ancient Egypt, iron was more valuable than gold itself. For centuries, Egyptians had no technology for smelting iron, so they got iron from meteorites - and it was very, very rare. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

9

The Civil War

A Civil War battle stopped SO the soldiers could watch a fistfight. In the Battle of the Wilderness, a Confederate and a Union soldier hiding in the same gully began to duke it out after trying, and failing, to capture each other. Soon, both sides stopped firing and got closer SO they could cheer on their dude. (The Union guy lost, and got captured.) CRACKED.COM — Source: 18 Historical Facts That Don't Get Mentioned

8

The Holy Grail

THE HOLY GRAIL In popular culture: The Holy Grail is a cup used by Jesus during the Last Supper, and then it held his blood. In Christian tradition: The Grail wasn't mentioned for over 1,000 years after Jesus' time it's a fully medieval creation. — Source: British Library

7

The Renaissance

Greatswords aren't medieval. Two-handed greatswords became a thing in the late 1500s- during the Renaissance, not the Middle Ages. Terms like Zweihander are even more recent, and weren't used historically. — Source: The Association for Renaissance Martial Arts

6

Ancient Greece

ANCIENT GREEK STATUES HAD GODS HEADS AND PHALLUS. BUT IN 415 BC, VANDALISM SPREAD THROUGH ATHENS. All of the Hermae (statues) had their dicks chiseled — For details, read The 5 Most Important Things Ever Done While Black Out Drunk

5

Eratosthenes

ERATOSTHENES 276 BC-194 BC R CRACKED COM This ancient Greek mathematician correctly calculated the Earth's circumference over 000 years ago. He also i — Source: American Physical Society

4

Roman Coins

Romans had porn coins. Coins with sexy imagery have been found for centuries, going back to the early times of the Roman Empire. Regular — More: No One Knows Why Romans Had X-Rated Coins

3

Old Science

Old-timey scientists believed that TINY PEOPLE LIVED INSIDE SPERM CELLS. Preformationism was the idea, in the 1600s-1700s, that people were already — More: 6 Extremely Wrong (But Hilarious) Scientific Beliefs

2

The Shape of the Earth

BELIEF: Medieval Europeans believed the Earth was flat. TRUTH: People knew the Earth was round by sixth century BC. The myth was started by people in — Source: Washington Post

1

Naples

Naples, Italy, is an ancient city. It's is one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, and has centuries of important art and archit

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