20 of the Funniest Last Words Uttered by Historical Figures

‘I shoot better!’
20 of the Funniest Last Words Uttered by Historical Figures

If you’re lucky, your last words will be “goodbye,” and if you’re decidedly unlucky, they’ll be something like, “HURGGHGLGGLGLLG.” 

It appears that more than a few late historical figures decided they wanted to avoid the latter and go out with a spot-on bon mot, and the historians of Reddit continue to salute the ones who succeeded. Marquis de Favras, when presented with his death sentence warrant, said, “I see you have made three spelling errors,” which rules.

To that end, here’s a collection of some of historical figures’ funniest last words. Admittedly, it’s hard for me to believe they were really spur of the moment, and not scrawled on a scrap of paper in their pocket in preparation for their final hour.

YourelnMyWaySir Зу ago Jannetje Johanna shaft was a Dutch Resistance Fighter in WWII. During her execution by firing squad, the guard missed with his first shot. Her last words were: I shoot better! 603 Share ...
sherbetpics Зу ago The author Roald Dahl is probably mine. His last words were nearly I am not afraid to die. It's just that I will miss you all, so very much..: Except then a nurse injected him to help ease his passing and then he said his actual last words Ow fuck! 1.5K Share ...
DuArVakaren Зу ago St Lawrence was sentenced to be burned to death over a large iron grill. When he was near death he said Turn me over - I'm done on this side. Share 826 ...
Risethewake Зу ago I see that you have made three spelling mistakes. - Thomas de Mahy, Marquis de Favras (Said after reading his death sentence warrant) 603 Share ...
MisandristMinx Зу ago Can't go past John Sedgwick for me. Under sniper fire his troops started taking cover. His last words were I am ashamed of you. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. 574 Share ...
kanped Зу ago There was (is?) A George Appel award, named after George himself, who said Well, gentlemen, you're about to see a baked Appel when sat in the electric chair. 268 Share ... SwingJugend Зу ago Similarly, the murderer James French got sentenced to the electric chair, and talking to a reporter before the execution he suggested the headline French fries. 128 Share ...
Asphyxiarts Зу ago Henrik Ibsen He'd been sick for awile and his nurse said to him, 'You seem to be feeling better this morning,' and Ibsen looked at her and said, 'On the contrary,' and then he died. 202 Share ...
TBTabby Зу ago I am about to - or I am going to - die: either expression is used. Dominique Bouhours, 17th century grammarian. 148 Share ...
GinX-964 Зу ago Either this wallpaper goes or I do. Oscar Wilde Share 424 ...
smackledawbed Зу ago Voltaire, when asked by a priest to renounce the devil, is said to have said 'Now my good man, this is not the time for making enemies' 755 Share ...
 Зу ago There is nothing proper about what you're doing, soldier, but at least try to kill me properly. - Cicero to his assassin
kingmasonmount Зу ago Spike Milligan's epitaph includes the phrase Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite, Irish for I told you | was ill. 155 Share ...
PanzerFenris Зу ago Prussian field marshall von Schwerin. On 6 May followed the Battle of Prague; leading on a regiment of the left wing to the attack with its colour in his hand, he shouted Let all brave Prussians follow me! after which he was struck and killed by a cannonball. 67 Share ...
Eastern_Award Зу ago Thought of this from Peter Cook's excellent biography by Harry Thompson. Peter Cook collapsed and was being put onto a stretcher. His eccentric neighbor, George, came out to see him go. Peter Cook gripped his hand and breathed, Will I be ok, George? Will | be alright? Without realizing his well less than 100 per cent predictive record, George assured him, You'll be fine Peter. Everything's going to be just fine. Peter replied, Oh fuck. His fate was sealed. 80 Share ...
Bianca7w7 Зу ago Thomas Jefferson still survives John Adams in his death bed without knowing Thomas Jefferson had already been dead for about five hours 27 Share ...
RingoStarAllies Зу ago Monty Python's Graham Chapman's (my pfp) last words were Sorry for saying fuck. 16 Share ...
partywalrusXL 0 Зу ago When asked by police to identify his killer, gangster Arnold Rothstein replied, you stick to your trade. I'll stick to mine. G 17 Share ...
ShrimpBisque Зу ago H.G. Wells is my favorite: Go away, I'm fine! 3 Share ...
Flashpenny Зу ago Groucho Marx of Marx Bros. fame was a true smartass to the very end. When asked what his last words will be when he was terminally ill. His response? Die?! Why that's the last thing I'll ever do! 2 Share ...
DefenestrationPraha Зу ago Sorry, sir, said Marie Antoinette to the executioner who was about to execute her, because she accidentally stepped on his foot. 848 Share ... SwingJugend Зу ago Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l'ai pas fait exprès. (Forgive me, sir. | did not do it on purpose.) I suppose that executioner felt like a bit of an asshole after that. 549 Share ...

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