40 Out-of-Touch Celebrities Who Clearly Live in A Separate Reality From Our Own

No, Demi Moore, leeches don’t detoxify your blood
40 Out-of-Touch Celebrities Who Clearly Live in A Separate Reality From Our Own

PR reps tell their celebrity clients to connect with the common folk, but it doesn’t seem like these ones gave lessons on exactly how to do that. Alicia Silverstone recommended taking a full year off to be with your newborn, failing to see how most working-class mothers would be unable to make that happen. Salma Hayek mentioned her down-hearted chef while complaining about her kids being picky eaters.

You guys know how that can be, right?

Ellen DeGeneres

ELLEN DEGENERES COMPARED HER MANSION TO BEING IN JAIL. CRACKED While on hiatus, she aimed to show that she was filming safely in quarantine, but joked that her 10,000 square-foot mansion was like a prison. At the time, prisoners (unable to socially distance) were dying from Covid.

Gary Busey

Gary Busey CRACKED.COM Busey once refused to film a scene set in heaven because the set was inaccurate. Busey had seen heaven during a near-death experience, and wanted to get it right, including the fact that there were apparently no mirrors in heaven.

King Charles

Rich people requests THE MANNEQUIN KING A former Royal Family staffer said that King Charles won't undress himself. Не has an entourage undress and redress him five times per day. One member irons his shoelaces. CRACKED

Selena Gomez

Rich people requests SELENA GOMEZ'S PROBLEM WITH JUSTIN(S) Right after her 2014 breakup with Justin Bieber, she requested that no one on her team go by the name Justin. The Justins who did work for her had to use nicknames when she was around. CRACKED

747s

Rich people requests ANOTHER 747 PLEASE A company modified several 747s for one customer, who purchased a new one because his spiritual advisor told him that one of his current planes was bad luck. Не let his wife use the bad luck plane for her personal travel. CRACKED

Mick Jagger

Mick Jagger from the Rolling Stones asked for a 40-yard running track during the 2017 Coachella. The track was also air-conditioned. CRACKED.COM

Heather Mills

HEATHER MILLS DOESN'T KNOW HOW MEAT WORKS. The former model and and onetime wife of Paul McCartney thinks it takes you decades to poop out a sausage after digesting it-and you die from it. sits in your colon for 40 years and putrefies, and eventually gives you the illness you die of. And that is a fact. CRACKED.COM

Mary J. Blige

Mary J. Blige CRACKED.COM She requires every venue she performs at to install a factory-fresh toilet seat.

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise says you can cure depression with exercise and vitamins. (If you are suffering from depression, please seek competent medical attention.) CRACKED.COM

Donald Trump

Donald Trump believes humans have a finite amount of energy to last a lifetime. Не told a man who was training for a triathlon, You are going to die young because of this. (Uh, no. Honestly, how is this guy still alive?) CRACKED.COM

Christina Aguilera

Those agrees - - - (1) name RCHASER - Each - music I . IT - working condition must - I - 1 of burdwars Author - - stores. the locations ARTIST - provided - prevente by PURCHASER complete - - system replifed and PCH control system Local - lighting - .. specifically understand and appeal - than ARTISTS Representative White - . - - authority - - and controling الو - and Tighting - powering and CHRISTINA OLLOW PURCHASER SPOTA - provide - of - in - People below - positioned - a back of the and to . each

Duck Dynasty

Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty believes that men should marry girls who are 15 or 16 years-old before they are ruined like most 20 year-olds are. CRACKED.COM

David Portnoy

David Portnoy, founder of Barstool Sports, tweeted this threat to employees considering unionizing: Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente If you work for @barstoolsports and DM this man I will fire you on the spot Rafi Letzter @RafiLetzter Aug 12 Replying to @stoolpresidente and @ringer If you work for Barstool and want to have a private chat about the unionization process, how little power your boss has to stop you, and how you can leverage that power to make your life better. my DMs are open. 9:30 AM Aug 13, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 3.1K Retweets 38.3K Likes This is a textbook violation

Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart told her daughter that, if her husband is rich but ugly, she shouldn't have his kid. Stewart said she should have a hot guy's kid and raise it as her husband's. CRACKED.COM

Ted Nugent

CRACKED.COM WHAT DOES MOTOR CITY MADMANTED NUGENT REQUIRE IN HIS DRESSING ROOM? MAN-SIZED KLEENEX! (IS THAT ACTUALLY A THING?)

Chrissie Hynde

The female rock icon Chrissie Hynde believes that women who dress provocatively are responsible if they are sexually assaulted. If I'm walking around in my underwear and I'm drunk? Who else's fault can it be? CRACKED.COM

Demi Moore

Leeches detoxify your blood. And they have a little enzyme that when they're biting down on you, gets released into your blood. And your health is optimized. -Demi Moore (Leeches have medical uses, but don't detoxify anything. They do run the risk of causing anemia and infection, though.) CRACKED.COM

Angelina Jolie

While she was married to Billy Bob Thorton, Angelina Jolie thought it would be romantic if the two of them slashed their fingers with razor blades and smeared the blood into lockets that each of them would wear. She believed that this act would strengthen their bond and the two wore the lockets for the remainder of their marriage. GRACKED.COM

Blended Wagyu

Rich people requests BLENDED WAGYU- BEEF Michael Harwood, private chef to celebrities and aristocrats, said that a millionaire client in Monaco ordered his wagyu beef to be blended so he wouldn't have to face the taxing task of chewing his food. CRACKED

Chris Brown

Chris Brown tweeted that rage is a sign of success. Chris Brown Follow @chrisbrown Upset? Something wrong? Mad perhaps? Lol, Constant sign of winning! Keep at it. Reply Retweet Favorite 7,142 1,543 RETWEETS FAVORITES (Keep at it, he says. Instead of, for example, look into anger management therapy.) CRACKED.COM

Kevin Jonas

GRACKED.COM Kevin Jonas live-tweeted his wife Danielle giving birth. kevin jonas Follow @kevinjonas Here we go we're pushing!!!! #babyjonas 8:42 AM - 2 Feb 2014 27,323 Retweets 28,567 Likes Shouldn't he be supporting her instead?

Fat Joe

According to rapper and CEO of Terror Squad Entertainment Fat Joe, the entire hip-hop industry is ultimately controlled by the GAY MAFIA! CRACKED.COM

Oprah

OPRAH WINFREY has forgotten how to use a gas pump I haven't pumped gas since 1983 - exhanol SUPER UNLEADED On a road trip with BFF Gayle King, a stranger had to explain to them how to operate a gas pump CRACKED COM

Gwyneth Paltrow (Yes, Her Again)

According to Gwyneth Paltrow, being a celebrity is as hard as being a soldier. You come across [online comments about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it, -Gwyneth Paltrow GRAGKED.COM

Geraldo

GRAGKED.COM I am urging the parents of black and Latino youngsters particularly not to let their children go out wearing hoodies. I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as much as George Zimmerman was. Geraldo Rivera seems to think one's choice of attire is one of the main reasons they get murdered.

Sienna Miller

Sienna Miller defended her cigarette habit, saying, I think the more positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful it is. Because that's how diseases work. CRACKED CON

Karl Lagerfeld

Karl Lagerfeld can't cook for himself or make his own bed. When the Chanel fashion designer was younger, he never learned basic daily tasks, because his mother taught him to depend on people, giving him more time to be successful. Now Lagerfeld has an entire staff to do the boring stuff for him. CRACKED.COM

John Fleming

JOHN FLEMING SAYS THAT SIX FIGURES A YEAR AIN'T ENOUGH TO LIVE ON. Today he is Assistant Secretary of Commerce for Economic Development. But back when he was a representative, Fleming opposed a tax hike on the basis that he'd be left with only $200,000 a year to feed his family. Perhaps his family can only eat truffles and beluga caviar? CRACKED.COM

Nicolas Cage

CRACKED.COM NICOLAS CAGE SEEMS TO THINK НЕ HAS INFINITE MONEY. ASD Cage sued his former business manager in 2009 for causing his financial ruin. The manager countered that Cage disregarded his advice against buying such things as European castles, islands in the Bahamas, and rare albino cobras.

Lauren Santo Domingo

LAUREN SANTO DOMINGO NEVER WASHES HER OWN HAIR. We're not saying that Santo Domingo's hair is ever dirty. She's an editor at Vogue-you'll never see her hair anything less than radiant. She just has other people wash it for her. Every. Single. Time. Not like | wash my own hair, she has said nonchalantly. I can't even remember the last time | washed my own hair. CRACKED.COM

David Cameron

DAVID CAMERON KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HIS VOTERS' DAILY BREAD. Back when he was prime minister of the UK, Cameron was asked on radio if he knew the price of the cheapest loaf of bread. Not only did he flub the answer, but he went on to extol the virtues of bread baked at home in his expensive breadmaking device, using premium flour. CRACKED.COM

Gwyneth Paltrow

NO TIME TO WORK OUT? GWYNETH PALTROW THINKS YOU'RE JUST LAZY. Paltrow thinks you have no excuse not to exercise two hours a day, even if you're a mom. Every woman can make time for it, she has said. Every woman. Yes, every woman who has a trainer, a nanny, a chef, and a housekeeper on staff certainly can. CRACKED COM

Alicia Silverstone

ALICIA SILVERSTONE THINKS YOU CAN JUST STOP WORKING. In her book The Kind Mama, Silverstone suggests you should take one year off work to be with your new baby. I assure you that it's not something that only the super privileged and trust- fund endowed can afford. Yeah, it's not like raising a baby costs thousands of dollars a year or anything. CRACKED.COM

Lady Gaga

LADY GAGA FEARS SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL HER CREATIVITY WITH SEX. In a 2010 interview, Lady Gaga shared that she was celibate for an unusual reason: I have this weird thing that if | sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina. Well, she did say it was a weird thing, didn't she? CRACKED COM

Ke$ha

KESHA'S PLACENTA GIVES HER SUPERPOWERS (or SO she says). My favorite keepsake is my placenta, 15 Kesha said in 2011. My mom found it in my basement, crushed it up, and made it into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities. There are many questions here, starting with why the placenta was in her basement. CRACKED.COM

Paul Ryan

PAUL RYAN LIKES... UH... RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE? Ryan said once that he listened to Rage Against the Machine- which prompted Tom Morello, the band's guitarist, to wonder which of their fiercely leftist songs Ryan preferred. Ryan is the embodiment of the machine our music rages against, . Morello wrote. CRACKED.COM

Nancy Grace

NANCY GRACE THINKS POT MAKES YOU A MURDERER. According to Grace, if someone commits a crime after smoking weed, it's because they smoked weed. People on pot shoot each other, stab each other, strangle each other, drive under the influence, kill families. Maybe she learned about marijuana from 1930s movies? CRACKED.COM

Madonna

MADONNA RECOMMENDS PEEING ON YOUR OWN FEET. Peeing in the shower is really good, Madonna told a flabbergasted David Letterman in 1994. It fights athlete's foot. Some people might prefer the fungus, though. CRACKED.COM

Patrick Stewart

PATRICK STEWART DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN GET A SINGLE SLICE OF PIZZA. Sir Patrick was 72 when he learned that you can order just a slice rather than a whole pizza. Не was also surprised he wasn't given a knife and fork to eat it with. CRACKED.COM

Salma Hayek

SALMA HAYEK'S CHILDREN. CAN BE SUCH A HANDFUL. You have to work very hard to please them all, Hayek was quoted as saying in 2014. If you are making pizza, there is one who doesn't like cheese and another who hates tomato... Our chef sometimes looks so downhearted. CRACKED.COM

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