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45 Quotes From Famous People for the Hall of Ugh

December 12, 2024

Today we learned that there is no correlation between fame, fortune and intelligence.

While it was great to know that us dummies still have a shot at some real success, it was also a little upsetting to realize that these dummies actually influence a lot of people. Yeesh. If you don’t want to lose respect for some of your favorite celebrities, you might want to skip this one.

45

Kelly Osbourne

If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump? Kelly Osbourne CRACKED.COM

44

Axl Rose

CRACKED.COM IT'S REALLY HARD TO MAINTAIN A ONE-ON-ONE RELATIONSHIP IF THE OTHER PERSON IS NOT GOING TO ALLOW ME TO BE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. - Axl Rose 1989 interview with Rolling Stone

43

Ashton Kutcher

IUAL If the fat people just gave the skinny people more food... we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. Ashton Kutcher, solving the world's problems while trying to mathematically figure out how you can have 2.5 men CRACKED.COM

42

Justin Bieber (Again)

CRACKED.COM I'm not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad. Justin Bieber, voicing a better political opinion than most cable pundits

41

Paris Hilton

CRACKED.COM C P. MEDIT PARIS HILT Hol Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me. Paris Hilton, presumably talking about her previous lives Hollywood

40

Sienna Miller

I think the more positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful it is. Sienna Miller, apparently believing that emphysema is a state of mind CRACKED.COM

39

Tyrese

ah دي AH Emirates FREE Dubai 13 th Du ational Internat estival ilm Fes Pandora.. Whoever you are!! Thank you!! I get tweets about you playing my music all the time!! A tweet from Tyrese, who at least seems to know that Twitter isn't a person ب ب السينماني 13

38

Bill Gates

Bill Gates on SPAM: 2004 CRACKED.COM Gates had some high hopes for spam filters back in 2004: Two years from now, spam will be solved. Не envisioned a system where users would charge spammers a small fee for every email. — Source

37

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise on antidepressants: 2005 THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE CRACKED.COM The guy who believes that our bodies are riddled with ancient alien ghosts would have us believe that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in a body. — Source

36

David Bowie

David Bowie on the future of copyright: 2002 CRACKED.COM Bowie predicted some major changes to the music industry. While he didn't see Songs of Innocence being force fed to every iPhone user, he did say I'm fully confident that copyright, for instance, will no longer exist in 10 years. — Source

35

Ke$ha

CRACKED.COM It's my placenta. My mom found it in my basement, crushed it up, and made it into a necklace that I wear every day to improve my psychic abilities. Ke$ha, discussing her Horcrux (we think) — Source

34

Joe Jonas

Joe Jonas is into BDSM It's definitely fun when you bring some whips and leather and whatever you may be into - a little bit of S&M-into the bedroom, the singer said. CRACKED — Anthony Citrano/Wiki Commons
Pride Source

33

Mike Tyson

I might fade into Bolivian. Mike Tyson CRACKED.COM — Source

32

Sarah Jessica Parker

CRACKED.COM I love the smell of diapers. I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm, like a baked good. Sarah Jessica Parker, truly finding yum in someone else's yuck (somehow) — Source

31

Rosie O’Donnell

Miraculously, the first time in history, steel was melted by fire. It is physically impossible. -Rosie O'Donnell, referring to the 9/11 collapse of 7 World Trade Center Because, you know... They harvest it right out of the ground looking just like this. GRAGKED.COM — Source

30

Katy Perry

CRACKED.COM pitalOn I'm so obsessed with you I want to skin you and wear you like Versace. Katy Perry, taking weeb culture to horrifying levels — Source

29

Guy Ritchie

It's okay to have beliefs, just don't believe in them. -Guy Ritchie CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Hal Needham

Screw the dialogue, let's wreck some cars. A quote by stuntman-turned-director Hal Needham — Source: Washington Times

27

Ann Coulter

CRACKED.COM El 10 Maybe if we called the Intelligent Designer 'Louis Vuitton' to avoid frightening the Godphobics, they'd finally admit the truth: Modern science has disproved Darwinian evolution. -Ann Coulter, best-selling author & conservative pundit — Source

26

Justin Bieber

CRACKED.COM dont know what it was about 2nite...but I just felt like a baby bunny smelling a spring flower. felt good. like salt and freshly baked bread -Justin Bieber — Source

25

Adam Levine

CRACKED.COM m G I hate flying. Know why? Because no one really understands how planes actually work. Adam Levine, who lacks access to Google — Source

24

Megan Fox

GRAGKED.COM Me will all laugh at gilded butterflies Would you not be so much more interested in finding out that Bigfoot existed than in watching a really good movie? I believe in aliens. I am childlike in my spirit, and I want to believe in fairy tales. Loch Ness monster...the Bell Witch. What distracts me from my reality is Bigfoot. They are my celebrities. - Megan Fox — Source

23

Mayim Bialik

Mayim Bialik on placenta eating: 2012 CRACKED.COM The PhD-holding actress, who is often cited as evidence that The Big Bang Theory is a smart show for smart people, didn't research camels or a single aquatic mammal before writing human beings are the only mammals that have chosen not to ingest their placenta... end of story. — Source

22

Kim Kardashian (Yes, Again)

WHAT IS MY TALENT? WELL, A BEAR CAN JUGGLE AND STAND ON A BALL AND HE'S TALENTED, BUT HE'S NOT FAMOUS CRACKED.COM - KIM KARDASHIAN — Source

21

Robert Downey Jr.

I'm thinking of buying a monkey. Then I think, 'Why stop at one?'... Therefore, I'm considering a platoon of monkeys. So that people will look at me and see how mellow and well-adjusted I am compared to these monkeys throwing feces around. Robert Downey Jr., who knows the correct way to spend money CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Christina Aguilera (Again)

CRACKED About her low- selling album Bionic, CHRISTINA AGUILERA said, I can proudly say it was ahead of its time, to be honest. You had to be a real music lover, a true fan of music and the love of being open to really appreciate that record. — Everett Collection/Shutterstock
Gawker

19

Dan Quayle

Dan Quayle has stepped in it a whole bunch of times, so let's just go with the most comprehensive: CRACKED.COM I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

18

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson isn't quite sure what tuna is: tl GRACKED.COM Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea'?

17

Shaq

Shaq can't recall if he partied at the Parthenon. GRACKED COM When someone asked if he visited the Parthenon while he was in Greece: I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.

16

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera cannes't take this one back: CRACKED.COM So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

15

David Beckham

David Beckham's problem is already solved! CRACKED.COM I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion.

14

Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney defines the new American dream: CRACKED.COM I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love.

13

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian goes fishing for compliments, catches backlash: = 20 26 DO 24 25 19 23 21 22 Pit 95 35 3) 38 99 8 CRACKED.COM You guys, I'm not that skinny! I'm down to 119 pounds. I will say when I take out my hair extensions I am less.

12

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz fancies herself a bit of a prodigy: CRACKED.COM I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.

11

Kanye

Kanyeto, ergo sum: CRACKED.COM I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all.

10

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold was very tolerant... with one key caveat: CRACKED.COM I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.

9

Craig T. Nelson

Craig т. Nelson lifted himself up by his bootstraps: CRACKED.COM I've been on foodstamps and welfare. Anybody help me out? No.

8

Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone has big plans for his next life: CRACKED.COM The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush.

7

Nancy Pelosi

Nancy Pelosi thanks George Floyd for his sacrifice. coo TROUBLE After Derek Chauvin was convicted of murdering George Floyd, Pelosi gave a speech in which she thanked Floyd for sacrificing your life for justice. Being murdered isn't a sacrifice. CRACKED.GOM

6

Elon Musk

Elon Musk and, well, every second thing he says. - - - Our top choice for dumbest take this time around is when he shared his skepticism concerning COVID-19: Elon Musk @elonmusk Mar 6, 2020 The coronavirus panic is dumb CRACKED.GOM

5

Bette Midler

Bette Midler wants to applaud all housekeepers for knowing how kitchen appliances work. At the start of the pandemic, Midler tweeted: I never knew my appliances as well as I'm starting to know them. So grateful to #Kenmore and #Maytag. This is no joke. I salute housekeepers around the globe, doing your best to keep your families well, safe and alive. CRACKED.COM

4

Terry Crews

Terry Crews on Black supremacy. FORCE OF NATURE In 2020, Crews tweeted an unfortunate and wholly unnecessary sentence: Defeating White supremacy without White people creates Black supremacy. Equality is the truth. Like it or not, we are all in this together. Oof. CRACKED.COM

3

Meghan McCain

Meghan McCain During the 2020 New York protests following the death of George Floyd, McCain tweeted that her neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone. Not only did her neighbor Kristen Bartlett debunk her rants to the outside world, but it turned out McCain wasn't even in New York at the time. CRACKED.COM

2

Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres compared self-quarantine to jail. While broadcasting to her viewers from home, she said: One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine is that people - this is like being in jail, is what it is. CRACKED.GOM

1

Moby

MOBY moby XVX @thelittleidiot Mar 23 A reminder: in a vegan world there would be no pandemics. 100% of pandemics are zoonotic in origin. #veganforlife Someone tell him how cholera works. CRACKED.COM

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