36 Counterintuitive Facts About War That Make It Feel More Pointless Than Ever

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Well, except these facts
36 Counterintuitive Facts About War That Make It Feel More Pointless Than Ever

Sadly, war is a big part of human history, but like anything, even it can have a sillier side. Amidst some of the more violent facts, there were some laughable wars started by a stray dog, a clumsy camel and a little Mexican pastry shop. And because we couldn’t leave here without you learnin’ a thing or two, we wanted to squash some war-related misconceptions too. 

This list really has it all!

The Hundred Years’ War

The first phase of the Hundred Years' War was ended by a hail storm. GRACKED.COM Called Black Monday, a hail storm killed an estimated 1,000 English soldiers in Chartres, France in 1360. King Edward of England con- sidered it a sign from God and soon after he signed the Treaty of Bretigny.

D-Day

Germany lost WWII partly because Hitler slept in late. His underlings were told not to wake him up no matter what, and he slept until 11 or noon on D-Day. And even after he got up, he was sure the D-Day assault was just a diversion, so he didn't send any reinforcements - it took a while to change his mind on that. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM

The Battle of Texel

There is one recorded case of men on horseback capturing a naval fleet. In the Battle of Texel in January 1795, a fleet of 14 Dutch ships was trapped in ice near Texel Island. The French heard of that and sent infantry, cavalry, and horse artillery forces to capture them. Apparently, there was no fighting - after a five-day standoff, the ships surrendered. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM

The Shortest War

CRACKED THE SHORTEST WAR IN HISTORY LASTED 38 MINUTES. The war broke out on August 27, 1896, after Sultan Hamad bin Thuwaini refused to step down as ruler of Zanzibar, despite Britain's demand. Не was quickly defeated.

Radioactive Foxes

The U.S. tried to fight Japan with radioactive foxes. WWII's Operation Fantasia involved catching foxes, painting them with paint that had radium so they glowed in the dark, and releasing them in Japanese villages. They'd look like mythical kitsune, which was suposed to terrify the Japanese. Mercifully, at one meeting, an official spoke up and convinced everyone they should call off the whole thing. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM

The Ballad of the Green Berets

AN AMERICAN PATROTIC SONG TOPPED THE CHARTS AT THE HEIGHT OF THE BRITISH INVASION. Do you think the '60s were all about The Beatles? Nope! The Ballad of the Green Berets, by Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler, was the #1 song on the Billboard chart for 1966. GRACKED.COM

The Battle of Stalingrad

In one day of heavy fighting during the Battle of Stalingrad, a local railway station changed hands from Soviet to German control and back again fourteen times in six hours. CRACKED.COM http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle of Stalingrad

A Lack of Peace

CRACKED.COM It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.

Tea Tanks

All British tanks since 1945 have been equipped with Tea-Making Facilities http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Challenger_2#Crew_and_accommodation GRAGKED.COM

World War II

DURING WORLD WAR II, THE USSR TOOK THE BRUNT OF THE FIGHTING - AND OF THE DYING. You see very heroic Americans fighting the Reich in movies. And while that is true, you're not told that for every American killed in action, about 21 Soviets died. CRACKED.COM

Ancient Battles

Ancient battles didn't turn into melee combat as soon as the armies met. You didn't win because your fighters were individually better in single combat than your enemy-you won because your soldiers stayed in boring, organized formations. Any army who just charged into battle to take on their foes one-to-one was called the losing side. CRACKED.COM

Flaming Arrows

Flaming arrows were never common. An arrow on fire will go out as soon as you shoot it, unless you make modifications to it that make it a crappy arrow. They were only used as incendiary devices during sieges- and even in those cases, they were ineffective most of the time. CRACKED.COM

Pre-Battle Speeches

A general wouldn't give an epic speech just before the battle. While rousing speeches were occasionally a thing, these would be given in camp- not on the battlefield, with the enemy itching to attack you (and where your troops in the back couldn't hear you). CRACKED.COM

Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc fought alongside a serial killer. Gilles de Rais was her ardent companion by day. By night, he preyed particularly on children between the ages of six and 18. De Rais may have killed as many as 800 children, making him one of the most prolific serial killers in history. CRACKED.COM

Rome

THE ROMAN EMPIRE DIDN'T JUST FALL OVERNIGHT. Yes, Rome was taken by Germanic invaders in 479-which had happened other times, SO not much changed that day. The Eastern Roman Empire-which was more important by then- lasted another 1,000 years. CRACKED.COM

Vietnam

THE STRONGEST OPPOSITION TO THE VIETNAM WAR CAME FROM OLDER AMERICANS. SIDER PET SING DER ADVESSION AVETES ONE von 17% LAV THAMESISCHEN ، KIA AND CALON VIETNAM GET THE HELL Yes, visible protestors tended to COFTERS OUT OF be young. But according to polls of the time, young people were VIETNAM more likely to support the war than older citizens- particularly those over 50. CRACKED.COM

Normandy

THE NORMANDY LANDINGS WERE AMERICA'S FINEST DAY-EVEN IF AMERICANS WERE IN THE MINORITY. There were over 83,000 men in the British Second Army that stormed the French beaches, compared with 73,000 in the First United States Army. CRACKED.COM

The Toledo War

Ohio and Michigan once went to war - over Toledo. D for N. Est I MICHIGAN Maumee Toledee Bay Disputed Toledo Strip Perrysburg er OHIO Maumee River drawder From 1835-36, the two states argued over a thin strip of land at their border. It escalated to a brawl wherein someone was stabbed with a pen knife, but that was the only casualty. CRACKED.COM

The Flagstaff War

The Flagstaff War CRACKED.COM Natives in the New Zealand town of Kororareka didn't take kindly to British troops raising their flag there. Chief Hona Heke chopped down the flagpole, then three more that replaced it. When the fourth was erected, Heke led a bloody rebellion that kicked off a 10-month war.

The Great Guano War

The Great Guano War CRACKED.COM Spain and Peru got into an international kerfuffle after a local brawl injured a few Spaniards. The Spanish navy took over a series of Peruvian islands that produced 60% of their national income, via collection and refinement of guano.

Dogfights

Planes in a dogfight don't get close to each other. Modern dogfighting is about planes throwing stuff at one another from a distance. A big distance, usually of several miles-even in an up close and personal battle, your enemy can look no bigger than a speck of dust on your windshield. CRACKED.COM

How Grenades Explode

Grenades don't explode in a big fireball. A real grenade going off is quite underwhelming by movie standards- just a loud poof of smoke and shrapnel. CRACKED.COM

The Memo War

Prime Minister edits a memo, starts a war CRACKED COM In 1870, Otto Von Bismarck published a memo from French ambassador Count Vincent Benedetti. OVB, however, edited out all the pleasantries, which made it read like a personal insult. Tensions rose, and France declared war on Prussia a week later.

A Clumsy Camel

A clumsy camel sparked 40 years of war CRACKED.COM The Al-Basus War kicked off in the year 494, when a hapless camel wandered into a different herd, belonging to a rival tribe. When the owner of that herd killed the camel, thinking it was his own, the original owner responded by killing the rival tribe's chief.

The Pastry War

The Pastry War CRACKED.COM In 1838, a French baker living in Mexico had his pastry shop damaged by Mexican soldiers. The owner got French King Louis-Phillipe to demand repayment; when Mexico refused, the French navy blockaded the entire Gulf coast, leading Mexico to declare war.

Cod of War

Cod of War GRACKED.COM In 1958, Iceland began expanding their oceanic borders in order to gain a monopoly on cod fishing. First it was 4 miles offshore, then 12, then ultimately 200 miles. Britain wasn't having any of that, and led their gigantic navy to violently bully Iceland into relaxing their borders.

A French War

A local mayor declares war on France CRACKED.COM When a Spanish king was insulted by some French folks in 1883, a small-town Spanish mayor declared war on all of France. The declaration remained in effect for over 100 years, until a modern Spanish king visited the French town, kissed some babies, and negotiated a peace.

Snipers

Snipers don't work alone. Snipers operate in teams of two persons- a spotter, who does all the necessary calculations, and a shooter, who does the actual putting-bulletsin-their-place thing. CRACKED.COM

The War of the Stray Dog

The War of the Stray Dog CRACKED.COM In 1925, a Greek soldier's dog escaped and crossed the Bulgarian border. A guard shot the soldier when he, too, crossed the border to retrieve it. Greece invaded Bulgaria, killing 50 soldiers, before the League of Nations stepped in and cooled things off.

The Horse War

40 years of war over a horse race FFF CRACKED.COM In the year 568, two Arabian tribes went to war after an unbeatable horse named Dahis was scared off the track, mid-race, by opposing warriors. Dahis was, unfortunately, owned by a King, who declared war after his bet was ruined.

The Cavalry

A cavalry charge isn't an unstoppable force. Horses have eyes, and also a survival instinct. No matter how well trained, they won't run into just anything (let alone a line of pikes and spears). In real life, cavalry made most of their kills after the enemy had already broken formation. CRACKED.COM

Land Mines

Land mines don't wait until you step off of them. With very few exceptions, a landmine will go off the moment your foot touches it. Even if you freeze in place, you'll have no time to say goodbye. CRACKED.COM

Artillery

36 Counterintuitive Facts About War That Make It Feel More Pointless Than Ever

Senseless Violence

The War of Jenkins' Ear CRACKED.COM In 1731, British navy captain Robert Jenkins' ship was attacked by Spaniards, who cut off his ear for... some reason. Eight years later, Britain held a Parliamentary hearing about the incident, parading out his gross, shriveled ear as evidence. This was simply flimsy pretext to launch a war that would kill half a million people.

The Sounds a Bomb Makes

You don't hear a descending whistle as bombs fall on you. Some bombs made a whistling sound because they had actual whistles, intended to scare people. Now, the pitch decreasing (because of the Doppler effect) is what the plane's crew would hear-if you were on the ground, you'd hear it increase instead. CRACKED.COM

Grenades

You can't pull a grenade's pin with your teeth. It's definitely badass, but also definitely not something you can do. Try it, and you're more likely to pull your teeth out than the pin. You have some perfectly good fingers-use those instead. CRACKED.COM

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