40 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of November 18, 2024

It all goes downhill after 8:30 p.m.
40 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of November 18, 2024

Last week, we received news that Dogma sequel was in the works with the promise of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck returning in some capacity. Then we also received news that Dogma 2 is just a “state of mind” and may never actually happen. So, do with that what you will. 

In more reliable announcements, the U.S. Postal Service gave the late, great Betty White the seal of approval, and will release a commemorative stamp honoring the Golden Girls star in 2025.

On the other side of the spectrum, Bette Midler didn’t get any such stamp of approval. Despite her pleas to play Teresa Schemmenti on Abbott Elementary, the honor has been bestowed upon Italian-American icon Talia Shire, who will appear in the show’s upcoming Christmas episode. The special will air on December 4th, and feature more of the Schemmenti clan in what’s sure to be TV’s loudest episode in recent memory.

We’ve got a week’s worth of funny tweets to look back on too. The funniest included those about a perfect hangout, a worm with a busy day and an interesting place for a president to be.

Ellen @ellenfromnowon1 12h Woman opposite me is T9 texting on a flip phone at the speed of sound. To see a traditional skill, a near-lost art like that demonstrated with such virtuoso takes the breath away. 10 461 7.6K 93K

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It's ok, Liam's ok @MsAmericslaya 21h LAST CHRISTMAS IS A GAY SONG??? GIF 201 1K 21K 594K

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Lord Carson @LordCarsonEsq. 7h It's incredible how quickly baby name trends have switched. If you look at a class of 8 year olds it's all Paxxton, Reighlynn, Kayden but now every kid under two is Theodore, Eleanore, Beatrice etc 301 600 18K 792K

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trevor @mermanmotel. 1d do you know her @jonimitchell Gio DeBatta @GDebatta. 1d this shark was born in 1627 0:24 881 17K 43 615K

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Queen Liza @KrystalWolfyAlt-8h Bear Reddit r/camping 20+ comments 4 years ago When are bears most active? : r/camping So googling bear calendar gave me amazing calendars full of grizzly hairy men. I'm buying those too but I didn't have my question... 6.6K 103K 1.4M 161

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Top 10 Most Vengeful Animals @junglewarsaw14h ... austinpowersimpersonator 11m ago Wants to send you a message. 11m ago austinpowersimpersonator liked your story. 3 262 5.4K 88K

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kate @boygeniusmac. 14h she's been found MILI WITH - FRICT colin_chaotic amused ... Subscribe August 5 2005, 00:04 Listens: Conan Gayest. Summer. Ever. 2 Holy shit! It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia freaking rules. Especially the twist ending man, just beautiful. Because Dennis and Mac are so totally gay anyway. Aaaand, they're roommates! Totally. Writing. Fanfic. kate @boygeniusmac. 9/5/24 does anyone have a screenshot of the person that posted that mac and dennis should get together 2 hours after the first episode aired 32 1.3K 549K 21K

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@hescutelatino. 1d getting an ipad was the best decision i've ever made. this is me everyday 348 22K 152K del 2.8M

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Neil Renic @NC_Renic• 1d ... I'm putting together a team PLEASE GIVE ME SPACE NERVOUS Not keen on men емива IGNORE ME I'm afraid 10 1.7K 14K 314K

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thotscar wilde @thotscar_wilde. 18h I used to walk to work at 4am when I lived in Canada and this shit was the most peace and inner silence I've ever felt and yes also it would be nice to get shot here and bleed out Liminal Spaces @SpaceLiminalBot.2d 1.4K 21 28K 529K

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Pat @pattbb8.14h ... WHEN THE HANGOUT HAS NOBODY. IT'S JUST YOU AT HOME WATCHING MOVIES 1K 9.1K 5 196K

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Prometheus (DARK MAGA) @CaribbeanR... 21h ... WHAT'S THE MATTER Zyn BOY, AFRAID YOU MIGHT TASTE SOMETHING? @expeditionary_grindset PREMIUM DARK WINTERGREEN GRIZZIY L HOBGOBLIN WARNI This product can cal an - Case - 459K 55 585 13K

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@etrnvzl 22h yeah so i need rosanna pansino in my blunt rotation Rosanna Pansino @RosannaPansino 1d We lost my dad about 5 years ago to Leukemia. Не was the best. His dying wish was to be grown into a cannabis plant and be smoked. So that's what I did. The first episode of my new podcast, Rodiculous is dedicated to him. Link to full episode is on @RodiculousPod. Love and Show more 2:18 18 1.9K 41K 743K

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blank @blankspac_e.18h locked in Chrome File Edit View History Bookmarks People Tab Window Help DE ري M M Catalina 10.15.1 115 8400 AM x Coffee Lake - - GitBook EASY OPENCORE 0.5.7 Comp + Imgur: The magic of the Intern x x REALLY want to use metomic dashboard Damien Senger's presenta x TA Edit your profile x - Florian Nagel's presentation x M Editing Sketch Meetup Miz x M M M M M de C S S e C с de Freelancer G C C x ISSU CO Sof Take Sha M AB Star G GU Sea Mis cub App Bul Fas

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JK @GRAVEHOPP187 - 16h ... Me as soon as someone think they know me 2.6K 352K 49 16K

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def sloane @beepboopsloane 1d ... beavers are so funny why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering 248 22K 243K 4.2M

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blake austin tattoos @blakeaustinink - 1d Carrying around a scrap of cloth that smells like my wife all day like a medieval knight yearning for his maiden 3 287 2.6K 96K

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ky @prncesskrly 1d I miss when people used to fight at stores at 12am after thanksgiving 19 1.4K 6.9K 150K

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KARL @stargaasm. 22h i hate when im the only boy at my job because hell no i can't pick up those heavy ass boxes either girl.... 300 7.5K 126K 2M

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Jack-a-Boy @Jack_a_Boy_ 1d Favourite running joke on this app is how DiscussingFilm drops all the professionalism when Wallace and Gromit is involved DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .1d this film is so fucking incredible that I'll never stop talking about it, I've watched it 3 times already I can't stop. read our review: bit.ly/GromitDF x.com/ discussingfilm... 168 257K 15K 4.2M

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didyoujustsaywig @2002scoobydoo.19h Teenagers in 1922: Tena @Downanotherbro 2d Ditching my entire family to watch nosferatu on Christmas STO GIF ALT 2.2K 36K 4 715K

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GZ @GalaxyZeinz. 1d ... boy why you hogging the antlers 37 617 11K 144K

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Schmrgl @Schmrgl. 18h Mental illnesses as paintings: Celiac Disease Schmrgl @Schmrgl 19h Mental illnesses as paintings: Heterosexuality x.com/Schmrgl/ status... 295 8.2K 114K 3.5M

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Jared @b1g_damage 16h googling effect vs affect in an incognito window 49 1K 11K del 179K

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kate in exile @regimero_ 1d yeah im solo poly. feeling so lo im poly gonna kill myself 80 9.8K 91K del 1.6M

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Mike F @DeputyWarlock-8h ... my boss is so stupid, i lie to him constantly and he never figures it out. i'll be like no problem sounds good no worries you got it no sweat meanwhile it is a huge problem, it sounds like shit, he should be worried, he does not have it, and i am frequently sweating 6 325 3,419 del 58.2K

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sav @goldensavvv.21h ... he's mad at me cause i i keep replying  to every girl that comments on his pictures 186 1,788 17.9K 410K

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VOIDFILL @SOPROSOC... . 18h ... Void VIII Handsome B. Charming @Richard57941301 My Hs guidance counsellor: I think you would do well as an international jewell thief and playboy, , you have a certain oily charisma me: Bev it sounds like we are right on the same page with this one 10:57 AM 7/24/21 4,476 216 79K

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Lloyd @felonyfuckbuddy.1 19h ... Smoking weed when your British gotta be like Cor Blimey I'm bloody roasted off this spliff and I'm bri'ish 7 325 2,860 del 75.5K

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@GoodVibePol... 23h James Ray ... Spirit Airlines going bankrupt is really sad because there's now a real risk of millions of Americans never knowing what it's like to have a 15 hour layover at Orlando International to save $50 on a ticket to a place 6 hours away 87 1,782 26.8K del 1M

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Christin @hexprax. 15h ... My boyfriend told me his nickname growing up was Shorts because he was the first boy in his hometown to start wearing Shorts in the spring and I didn't believe it until we visited and he was riding a bike through the town square and someone yelled, Shorts!!! at him. 5 237 12.2K del 120K

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anná @annxhoss 10h ... to anyone wondering what it's like going out with a woman over 40. it's not easy. So I'll pick you up from school. Please don't ever say it like that again thank you Why? Is there a problem with an older woman picking you up from school? There is not. I work here. Let's just say you pick me up from work. Okay. See you later after school's done. 205 2,479 65K 1.2M

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® spoke to eli @OLDLVRS... 22h ... how it feels wearing concert merch the day after your concert 28 7,477 68.5K 875K

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AARON!! serge daney mcbride @abs_sw... 1d ... I'm gonna be honest, I had no clue this was where he said it. I thought he said it at the White House or Camp David or somewhere it was normal for a President to be. The Mickey Wiki @TheMick... . 1d On this day in 1973, President Richard Nixon declared I am not a crook at Disney's Contemporary Resort. OF THE PRESIDENT SEAL SALVARS OF THE UNITED 74 3,873 64.1K 1.5M

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are u mad at me @dylmichaelc.1 1d ... being single goes SOOO hard until 8:30pm 131 6,652 78.8K del 3M

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festive goblin @slipperygo... 2d if I get pregnant I expect an infographic with my market value and position also sd Soccerdonna @soccerdon... . 2d Kristie Mewis and Sam Kerr are expecting a baby! Congratulations soccer donna PREGNANT NH Algorand » WEST UNITED HAM KRISTIE MEWIS (33) MARKET VALUE POSITION €50K см 52 3,403 105K 3M

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Russell @Medic_Russell. 5d ... the worm in RFK's brain on his way to day one as deputy health secretary 232 6,732 90.5K 1.8M

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cas7 @BEADY3YE.6d forcing irish people to meet the royal family is so foul look at paul's face @cravemedia_ 6d DHARITY A 100YEARS M+TV GLAMPSON ARITY GLADINTOR GLADISTOR CLADITOR 256 5,688 143K del 10.4M

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LowBudgetMuthafucka @Low... 1d ... *first day as a surgeon* ew ew ew ew 15 861 8,741 135K

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Chaz Firestone @chazfirestone. 13h ... perfect will SANTINO Really? I think he looks more like my side of the family. 9 797 12.3K 225K

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