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40 Random News Headlines That Feel Like They Were Express Mailed From a Parallel Universe

November 02, 2024

Prince Andrew has a huge teddy bear collection, and he freaks out if the maids touch them.

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40

WEIRD WORLD MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell will give 10,000 MyPillows to Canada protesters. His plan is to airdrop them to protesters with little parachutes. CRACKED.COM — Source

39

WEIRD WORLD A penguin swam all the way from Antarctica to New Zealand (about 1,864 miles). It's only the third time on record that a penguin of that species swam to New Zealand. CRACKED.COM — Source

38

WEIRD WORLD We've found out that masks actually make you look hotter. That's the conclusion of a study carried out by Cardiff University researchers - and apparently, the effect holds for both men and women. CRACKED.COM — Source

37

WEIRD WORLD The Holy Father left the Vatican to visit a record shop and buy a CD. Не went to a shop in Rome, in full Papal robes and all, and came out holding a CD. CRACKED.COM — Source

36

WEIRD WORLD The Tinder Swindler is now setting his sights higher- on a government job. Apparently, he'd like to be the foreign minister of Israel, he said. CRACKED.COM — Source

35

WEIRD WORLD A married couple in NYC live in separate apartments, and it's worked great. They say that it's done wonders for their marriage, and they started living apart in October. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

WEIRD WORLD One guy built a model railway for eight years and hid it from his girfriend. Finally, after working on it for near a decade, he unveiled the model (of 1.5 miles of a real-life railway track). CRACKED.COM — Source

33

WEIRD WORLD A YouTuber is getting accused of crashing a plane for more views. The video, titled simply I Crashed My Plane, got YouTuber Trevor Jacob 400,000 views - and also an investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration, and accusations of it being staged. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

WEIRD WORLD Two guys broke a Guinness World Record by walking up some stairs. Specifically, one of them was balanced on the other's head, and they made it up 100 stairs that way. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

WEIRD WORLD A British man revealed on TV that he has 50,000 balloons at home. Не also revealed a sexual obsession with balloons - on a show called, appropriately, My Strange Addiction. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

WEIRD WORLD In California, one guy got arrested 3 times in a span of sixteen hours. Apparently, the last arrest happened at 3 AM, after police had to pursue him-they tried to cite him for jaywalking, but he fled. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

WEIRD WORLD If you're a worker at Meta, you are now officially a Metamate. That's Zuck's new word for Meta employees, and it's part of the rebranding initiative at the company. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

WEIRD WORLD After the NYC mayor's new safety plan, there were 6 subway stabbings. This happened within only a few days of the new safety plan being unveiled. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

WEIRD WORLD Benedict XVI, who had retired from the рарасу, asked for forgiveness. Which might not be that weird, if he had confessed to doing anything wrong, but no - he simply wanted forgiveness for any grievous faults in the way he'd handled sex abuse incidents, but never said he specifically did anything wrong. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

WEIRD WORLD A Canadian restaurant was accepting dog photos instead of vaccine proof. It turns out that staff, who should have been accepting either proof of vaccination or a negative test, were accepting dog photos -- so the restaurant got shut down. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

WEIRD WORLD In what might be a first, an American is seeking asylum in the country of Belarus. Why? Не was part of the mob that stormed the capitol on January 6. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

WEIRD WORLD There's such a thing as uncombable hair syndrome, it turns out. A toddler in Georgia was diagnosed with it, and it's kind of exactly what it says on the tin - but it's extremely, extremely rare. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

WEIRD WORLD The CEO of Better.com publicly attacked employees who'd just been fired. Не accused them of stealing by only working a total of two hours per day. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

WEIRD WORLD A 105-year-old just set a world record in running (but she's not thrilled about it). NOT - TYE INB IND You'd think she'd be over the moon, but she says she wanted to do it in less than a minute. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, Prince Andrew was very particular about his teddy bears. That's what former royal cop Paul Page says - the maids had to put all 50-60 of his bears back in just the right way, or he'd scream, says Page. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

WEIRD WORLD A South Korean actually defected to North Korea. That's extremely rare, of course, and the South Korean military carried out a search - but they weren't successful. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

WEIRD WORLD FedEx sees the need for anti-missile lasers on its cargo jets. Believe THE FedEx Express They want to put a missile defense system that directs infrared laser energy toward an incoming missile, in an effort to interrupt the missile's tracking of the aircraft's heat. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

WEIRD WORLD A moose got trapped in a basement in Colorado, somehow. Apparently, it was grazing nearby, and managed to fall into a basement. Не wouldn't climb up the stairs (unsurprisingly), and wildlife officers had to get pretty resourceful in getting him CRACKED.COM out. — Source

17

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, cats are a serious cause of fire in South Korea. Turns out, according to South Korean officials, cats have started over 100 fires in the last 3 years. The officials say cats did this by turning on electric stoves by jumping on them. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

WEIRD WORLD Tokyo police have announced that they've lost 2 floppy disks with sensitive data. The data are on 38 public housing applicants - but there's no word why Tokyo police is using an early '90s technology to transfer data. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

WEIRD WORLD A top-ranking chess player was promised a night of passion with a porn star. A Russian porn star gave that promise to lan Nepomniachtchi, if he beat Magnus Carlsen and became world champion (which, alas, didn't happen). CRACKED.COM — Source

14

WEIRD WORLD There's a new world record for a soul train line, and it's a total of 536 people. Black Entertainment Network organized the line in question, in New York City. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

WEIRD WORLD In a Montreal school, staff stripped students all the way down to their underwear. Apr CUN It was a truly ridiculous attempt at searching them for vaping products. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

WEIRD WORLD In Minneapolis, robbers tried to hold up a bank with a vial of HIV. It's not really clear if there was HIV in the vial, and the FBI is investigating everything. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

WEIRD WORLD Because of a blind date, one woman was locked down in a random apartment. She went on a blind date with a guy, and then a snap lockdown in Zhengzhou, China, hit - - and she had to stay at his place for days. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

WEIRD WORLD A company can't figure out how it spent 460 million dollars. H 6556960 A 390 nona NOTE THE TEEK UNITED STATES OF AMERICAN - - E 4 D IK1 7258282A BERAZ D5471231 NOT 3BB 4 50 NOTH SRL FirstEnergy was supposed to spend that money on modernizing its electric grid, happened. but there's zero evidence that that actually CRACKED.COM — Source

9

WEIRD WORLD A new Tennessee bill would turn some gun owners into law enforcement agents. And it's pretty open about it - it expands the definition of law enforcement officer, apparently. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

WEIRD WORLD In Turkey, a man thought lost was in the search party looking for him. Beyhan Mutlu, 50, was reported missing, so a group formed to search for him. He later joined it, and when they called his name, he said I am here. CRACKED.COM — Source: Sky News

7

WEIRD WORLD Roblox, a game for kids, apparently has a big problem related to ingame sex. 2000000 gamerbatal BayWe apon Stand ($2,300) Apparently, people are creating all kinds of weird content, like strippers dancing, people openly having sex, various BDSM scenes, etc. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

WEIRD WORLD A Brit set a new Guinness World Record by stacking a total of 5 M&M's. CHOCOLATE M&Ll m Will Cutbill set the record to stave off lockdown boredom. When I tell 'em it's a whopping 5, they're shocked, he said. They want to give it a go, try and beat me. CRACKED.COM — Source: USA Today

5

WEIRD WORLD Washington state is giving away joints to people who are getting vaccinated. The program is called Joints for Jabs, and it involves giving a blunt to adults who get their shot at an in-store vaccination clinic. CRACKED.COM — Source: USA Today

4

WEIRD WORLD A dangerous bobcat in Pennsylvania turned out to be an ordinary house cat. (illustration) A local high school was evacuated when surveillance video revealed a bobcat-- but after two hours, authorities just found a house cat that was missing. CRACKED.COM — Source: 6ABC

3

WEIRD WORLD An entire Spanish town has come together to hunt Galician Rambo. They think an infamous convicted murderer, who's a skilled survivalist, is living in the nearby woods, so they've gotten together to track him down. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

WEIRD WORLD Somebody collected 1,230 different soccer balls, setting a world record. That's according to Guinness, who certified that the Mexican collector broke their previous record. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

WEIRD WORLD Because of a bug, the Tesla Model 3 farts very loudly at times. Apparently, the weird bug makes the car fart every time its doors were opened. CRACKED.COM — Source

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