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40 Breaking News Items That Stopped the Presses Somewhere in the World

October 26, 2024

Electric vehicles and volcanoes can mine Bitcoin now. At this point, if you’re not a crypto millionaire, you’re just not tryin' hard enough.

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40

Fossils

WEIRD WORLD They made sure the T-Rex at London's Natural History Museum stays warm. The T-Rex got a big Christmas jumper, that somehow looks both strangely adorable and utterly ridiculous. CRACKED.COM — Source

39

There Are Dozens of Us!

WEIRD WORLD A small penis march, aimed at combating stigma, was held in Los Angeles. Dozens of people marched in the Small Dong March organized by two YouTubers who encouragingly suggest to own that truth. CRACKED.COM — Source

38

Fair Is Fair

WEIRD WORLD The government wants to tax bribe money and stolen goods, too. No, really - the IRS recently stated that you have to report any bribes you got, or anything you stole, as income. CRACKED.COM — Source

37

Father’s Day Is About to Get Awkward

WEIRD WORLD A Vietnam war vet in his 70s found out he's a pop superstar's dad. US After a DNA search, it was confirmed that William Johnson is the father of Danish superstar Zindy Laursen. CRACKED.COM — Source

36

Wait ‘Til They Hear About Divorce

WEIRD WORLD A married couple in NYC live in separate apartments, and it's worked great. They say that it's done wonders for their marriage, and they started living apart in October. CRACKED.COM — Source

35

Perhaps the Vapes Were in Their Hearts All Along

WEIRD WORLD In a Montreal school, staff stripped students all the way down to their underwear. AUF CUR It was a truly ridiculous attempt at searching them for vaping products. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

WEIRD WORLD MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell will give 10,000 MyPillows to Canada protesters. His plan is to airdrop them to protesters with little parachutes. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

What If Volcanoes Could Do Math?

WEIRD WORLD El Salvador is going to get a volcano-powered Bitcoin City, apparently. The country's president promised at a gathering of bitcoin enthusiasts, which really speaks for itself. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

And It Was Better Than 90 Percent of Podcasts

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, a woman managed to swallow an Airpod instead of a painkiller. It happened when she was getting into bed with an Airpod in one hand an ibuprofen in another (and she claims she recorded her own stomach). CRACKED.COM — Source

31

That’s... Huge

North Atlantic right whales have the largest testicles in the world. They weigh in at around 500kg/half a ton, each. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

New York City

WEIRD WORLD Apparently, an epidemic of noisy sex is sweeping New York City. People are complaining more and more about their neighbors having really loud sex. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Once Cops Hear About Police Brutality, It’s So Over

WEIRD WORLD In Canada, a guy called 911 because the cops seized his car, apparently. After he got stranded in Princeton (Canada, not NJ), he called 911 to report the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for seizing his ride. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

You’re Better Off Leasing a Hitman

WEIRD WORLD A 14-year-old tried to hire a hitman to kill her ex-boyfriend. And it didn't work, luckily, because she tried to do it via rentahitman.com, which is a fake website and which reported the case to the police. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

Okay, It’s Just Gonna Ask You a Question and Then You Can Tap Your Card

WEIRD WORLD A guy who donated a kidney got a big medical bill as a reward. The reno man, after donating the kidney, got a bill for $13,064 in medical expenses. CRACKED.COM — Source

26

Crypto

WEIRD WORLD One Tesla owner started using his car as a crypto mining machine. EN Try And he says his Tesla makes him $800 in cryptocurrency every month. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Only in New York

WEIRD WORLD An ancient Roman mosaic was being used as furniture in an NYC apartment. It was a priceless artifact older than every country in existence, and it spent 50 years being a coffee table. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

A Bold Tourism Strategy

WEIRD WORLD The Taliban are now welcoming tourists who want to visit Afghanistan. That's after they'd destroyed irreplaceable ancient Buddhas that would made for a truly grand sight, for the record. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

An Easy Way to Go From a 3 to a 4

WEIRD WORLD We've found out that masks actually make you look hotter. That's the conclusion of a study carried out by Cardiff University researchers - and apparently, the effect holds for both men and women. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

WEIRD WORLD The CEO of Better.com publicly attacked employees who'd just been fired. Не accused them of stealing by only working a total of two hours per day. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Always Look on the Bright Side

WEIRD WORLD The pandemic brought one good thing to France: fewer burned cars. Normally, lots of cars get torched on New Year's Eve in France - but, due to the pandemic, that number was way lower. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

The Beanie Baby Crisis

WEIRD WORLD There are now emergency airlifts of Beanie Babies to the US taking place. Because global supply lines are jammed, Beanie Babies are being flown on cargo planes from China in time for the holiday season. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

Boys Will Be Boys

WEIRD WORLD In Minnesota, police were called to break up an eagle fight on the street. Two bald eagles were somehow stuck together on a road, probably fighting over territory, and a cop was called in to separate them. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

Okay, Let’s Hear Him Out

WEIRD WORLD The president of FIFA is claiming that football could save Africans from drowning. His words were: We need to find ways to include the whole world to give hope to Africans so that they don't need to cross the Mediterranean in order to find maybe a better life but, more probably, death in the CRACKED.COM sea. — Source

17

Congrats?

CANCELLED GRACKED OLYMPIC EVENTS Live Pigeon Shooting was an event in 1900. Nearly 300 birds were killed in total. The winner shot 22. — Top End Sports

16

A Change of Heart

WEIRD WORLD A billionaire in Utah left the LDS church and donated to an LGBTQ group. Specifically, he donated $600k - which is kind of chump change for him, but it's still pretty welcome, all things considered, especially since he stated the church is actively and currently doing harm in the world, including to LGBTQ people?AGKED.COM — Source

15

Let the Kid Drive!

WEIRD WORLD A five-year-old caught driving had the most adorable explanation for doing that. Не told cops that he was just out trying to buy a present for his sister, apparently. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

Utah

WEIRD WORLD A random person demanded that the Utah governor changed his last name. The letter from the very concerned citizen demanded that Gov. Spencer Cox change his last name - -because it sounds obscene. CRACKED.COM — Source: Fox13Now

13

Justice for This Crow!

WEIRD WORLD In Oregon, a friendly but sweary crow ingratiated himself with a whole school. The crow just showed up at the school one day and kind of became an unofficial mascot - but the whole thing ended with state police being called in. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

The Myrtle Beach to Ireland Garbage Run

11

It’s Raining Men

WEIRD WORLD In Spokane, WA, porn interrupted a weather forecast for about 10 seconds. It wasn't immediately clear how that managed to happen, and the police special victims unit was dispatched to investigate matters. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Part of This Complete Breakfast

WEIRD WORLD One British mom found her morning cereal full of crystal meth. Just before she tried to give the cereal to her kids, she saw that there was a small plastic pouch with white crystals in the box - and it turned out to be, уер, meth. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

Writing While You Run

CANCELLED GRACKED OLYMPIC EVENTS BONUS EVENT! Modern Olympics founder Baron Coubertin wanted an Olympic event combining a 14km race and a written essay, to show prowess in mind and body. It never took place. — Mental Floss

8

An IRL Vigilante

WEIRD WORLD A US Army special operations unit was attacked by a ninja in the desert. It happened in Ridgecrest, CA - a guy with a sword, dressed as a ninja, attacked unit members at an airport at night, causing at least 2 injuries. CRACKED.COM — Source: NPR

7

Stolen Valor

WEIRD WORLD A lawyer had to ask an Oklahoma woman to stop claiming she's a rescuer. KABUL AIRPORT Jis J ESSE The woman apparently overstated her help in the Afghan girls' robotics team's escape from Kabul, and their organization's lawyer had to step in. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Hill

6

‘Living in a Cage’ Is No Excuse to Be Anti-Vax

WEIRD WORLD A 70-year-old Serbian hermit got vaccinated and said everyone should do it. (illustration) Panta Petrovic, who has been living in a cave in Serbia for 20 years, said the virus does not pick. It will come here to my cave, too. CRACKED.COM — Source: Straits Times

5

Wow! What a Scoop!

WEIRD WORLD An Albuquerque mayoral candidate's press conference got attacked by a sex toy drone. It became so distracting from the sound and everything I couldn't really get my point across, the candidate complained, accusing his rival of being behind it. CRACKED.COM — Source: abq.news

4

The Government Once Had to Declare No Takesies Backsies

WEIRD WORLD Because of the pandemic, you basically can't renounce US citizenship. EMBASSY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA US citizens living abroad have to do a 1-on-1 interview to renounce it, and those are suspended because of the pandemic, so thousands of people who want to give up their citizenship are stuck with it. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

What Are the Odds?

John Parr was the first British soldier killed in World War I. George Ellison was the last. L/14196 PRIVATE J. PARR 112543 PRIVATE MIDDLESEX REGIMENT

2

It’s Nerf or Nothin’

WEIRD WORLD In Boston, nerf guns led to some serious violence in a bus station. NERT 8 20 A bunch of teenage boys pointed the guns at bus passengers, and eventually shot an elderly man - and a fight broke out, and they were arrested. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

WEIRD WORLD There's such a thing as uncombable hair syndrome, it turns out. A toddler in Georgia was diagnosed with it, and it's kind of exactly what it says on the tin - but it's extremely, extremely rare. CRACKED.COM — Source

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