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40 Quotes to Upload Into Your Vernacular

Put your money where your mouth is, Bill Gates. Hire me, a ‘lazy person’

40 Quotes to Upload Into Your Vernacular

October 26, 2024

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40

Santa Claus

YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID JEFF GILLEN CRACKED.COM His mom and teacher both said it, but we all really felt it when Santa shattered Ralphie's dreams. Jeff Gillen, best known as that mall Santa who said, You'll shoot your eye out, kid passed away in 1995, but Peter Billingsley (Ralphie) has strangers quote that line to him to this day. — Source: hollywood.com

39

Zayn Malik

Zayn Malik dumped his fiancee Perrie Edwards with a simple text. IM A M That's how she described it. The full quote reads It was horrible, the worst time in my life. A four-year relationship, two-year engagement ended by a simple text message. Just like that. CRACKED.COM — Source

38

The Wicked Queen

YOUR FAULTY MEMORY: The Wicked Queen in Snow White uses her mirror to get confirmation of her attractiveness, by saying, Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? &it CRACKED.COM THE REALITY: The Queen talks to her mirror with a more appropriate title, the full quote is, Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all? — Source: Insider

37

Abraham Lincoln

TELL US NOW. Kevin S. says, My high school band director often provided a quote that he attributed to Abraham Lincoln: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. CRACKED.COM

36

Aaron Paul

AARON PAUL HAS NO HALF MEASURES TATTOOED ON HIS ARM. o Hay Moewwrus Paul got the tattoo as a tribute after Breaking Bad ended. It's a reference to Mike's memorable no more half measures' quote from season three episode Half Measures. — GQ

35

Carl Schlegel

Let the same laws for all the intermediate stages of sexual life: the homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, be legal as they are now in existence for the heterosexuals. The above quote is from a speech by activist Carl Schlegel, written in 1907. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

34

Neil Armstrong

CRACKED KE That's step for one man, small one giant leap for mankind. - NEIL ARMSTRONG ARMSTRONG NASA This misquote is way better and all encompassing than the actual quote, That's one small step for a man... — NASA
Navy Times

33

Adam Sandler

Chris Farley GRAGKED.COM If you checked out that Sandler song we just mentioned, he sings a quote from Farley, Sandman, they fired my a** too! Hard to say when firings like this are justified or not, but when it's Chris Farley, it's unjustified to not give him one big beautiful send-off episode. Not knowing that his last show was in fact his last show kinda sucks. — Source

32

Douglas Adams

TELL US NOW. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. A reader shares the Douglas Adams quote, saying, This genuinely influences how I design or make anything, and how I give instructions for anything. CRACKED.COM

31

V for Vendetta

China's national TV channel aired V for Vendetta fully uncensored in 2012. CRACKED.COM Despite being known for its strict censoring of foreign films, the anarchist movie aired unedited. It includes the quote, People should not be afraid of their govern- ments. Governments should be afraid of their people. — Source

30

Teddy Roosevelt By Way of Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus has a Teddy Roosevelt quote tattooed on her arm. It reads, So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED COM — Source: Rolling Stone

29

Wild Wild West

Notes From Execs WILD WILD WEST Director Barry Sonnenfeld said studio execs wanted to lower the budget if the characters were too complex, and asked to remove the subtleties (such as they are). Actual quote: Could you take out the nuances? CRACKED — Warner Bros. Pictures
HuffPost

28

Stephen King

easter eggstra meanings and references DOCTOR SLEEP The Dark Tower #3 Dick Halloran tells Danny, Ka is a wheel. It's a direct quote from the novels. GRACKED.COM — Looper

27

Charles Bukowski

Charles T 00 Bukowski CRACKED.co This quote warned against alcoholism, but it's cooler out of context: If something bad happens, you drink in an atte — Source: The Hunchback of East Hollywood

26

Katy Perry

25

An Unnamed U.S. Senator

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. attributed to Bill Gates The original quote, from a 1

24

Shakespeare By Way of Megan Fox

Megan Fox has a Shakespeare quote on her back. bepill alllanal bulletA ailded It's a King Leer-inspired line, We will all laugh at gilded butterflies. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED COM — Source: Allure

23

Ed Harris

CRACKED FAKE Acting is like scoring touchdowns. - ED HARRIS Posted prominently in New Jersey's Jon Bon Jovi rest stop (seriously!), his quote was actually about transitioning from football into acting. I thought to myself, maybe I could do that... acting-and have people applaud like when I scored touchdowns. — Everett Collection/Shutterstock
The Philadelphia Inquirer

22

August Booth

CRACKEDCON Once Upon a Time is filled with flat, fairytale-based characters, but August Booth (Pinocchio) rises above them with one poignant quote: I

21

MLK

CRACKED A TECH COMPANY CEO APOLOGIZED FOR QUOTING MLK IN A LAYOFF EMAIL. At the end of the email, the PagerDuty CEO said the situation made her think of a quote from MLK that said a leader is judged by how they act in difficult times, not when everything is going well. Indeed. — CBS / Biz Journals

20

Frank Darabont

Notes From Execs THE WALKING DEAD AMC filed emails from fired executive producer Frank Darabont, showing his boiling rage at the show. A quote: I just kept Denise on the phone for 20 minutes making her listen to me scream. CRACKED — AMC Networks
Variety

19

Machiavelli

Machiavelli's famous quote: The ends justifies the means, is nowhere near what he actually wrote: When there is no impartial arbiter, one must consider the final result. GRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Inspirational Quotes That Everyone Gets Wrong

18

Venom

MORBIUS EASTER EGGS I AM VENOM. Despite saying it to almost no one left alive after, Venom's catchphrase is well-known enough for Morbius to jokingly quote it. CRACKED.COM

17

Victor Hugo

CRACKED cO COM YOu have enemies? Why, it is the story of every man who has done a great deed or created a new idea. - Victor Hugo, quote from his

16

Joaquin Phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix' pet name for Rooney Mara is kind of a strange one. Well, at least it's a pet name used one time - it's filthy dragon as in, to quote Phoenix, One last thing, somewhere here, I don't know where, is a filthy dragon, and I want to rip its wings off and fasten a blanket and sleep with it forever. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

NEVER HAPPENED Let them eat cake. - Marie Antoinette The flippant tone is accurate, but it was philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau who attributed the quote to a hypothetical great princess. CRACKED.COM — 10 Historical Quotes That Everyone Gets Wrong

14

Hellen Keller

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. For us, this quote implies that e

13

Lord Acton

CRACKED.COM Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely, LORD ACTON The full quote is Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men... Although the difference is subtle, the indication that not all power corrupts is important. — Hanover

12

Misattributed Machiavellian Machinations

Machiavelli never said, The end justifies the means. Machiavelli was much less Machiavellian than people think. His actual quote from The Prince was more about how power perpetuates itself, as whatever means the powerful use to remain powerful will always be defended as justifiable. — More: 4 Famous Expressions Everyone is Using Wrong

11

The Royal Tenenbaums

The Royal Tenenbaums There's a quote from Witness in The Royal Tenenbaums. In the 1985 film Witness, Danny Glover's character shoots Harrison Ford in a parking garage, and Ford yells, I know you, asshole! Gene Hackman repeats that line in Wes Anderson's movie. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Hal Needham

Screw the dialogue, let's wreck some cars. A quote by stuntman-turned-director Hal Needham — Source: Washington Times

9

Orson Welles

Orson Welles is a bit P.O.'d CRACKED COR Welles tried to treat an ad for frozen peas like it was a professional stage production, berating the writing and syntax for at least 4 straight minutes. The crown jewel quote has gotta be get me a jury and show me how you — Source: YouTube

8

Matt LeBlanc and Louis C.K.

Matt LeBlanc and Louis C.K. went to Newton North High School (in Massachusetts) together. LeBlanc's yearbook quote is Remembers hockey; hates English, and Louis c.K.'s is Will always remember how stupid the Newton School system was. CRACKED COM — Source: Boston Globe

7

Christopher Lee

40 Quotes to Upload Into Your Vernacular — Source: Entertainment Weekly, Cinefantastique

6

Marianne Williamson

OP Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Nelson Mandela This is actually a 1989 quote fro

5

Shakespeare? Or Congreve?

CRACKED.COM Music has charms to soothe a savage beast WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The quote is taken from playwright William Congreve, not Shakespeare, who wr — Source: Columbia Journalism Review

4

Batman v Superman

In Batman V Superman, a Joseph Campbell quote that says, where we had thought to stand alone, we will be with all the world, is written in Kryptonia

3

Forrest Gump

My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. Forrest Gump People don't realize that this is a sweetened version of a more negative quote

2

Gandhi

Be the change you wish to see in the world. That's not the original quote by Gandhi. It was lf we could change ourselves, the _tendencies in the worl

1

Joe Dirt

JOEDIRT In the film, Joe searches for his parents who abandoned him as a child. With one beautiful quote, he sums up his character's journey. You gott

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