12 Animals and the Human Crimes They Look Guilty Of

Look at this guy. You walk past him when he’s got some liquor in him, you know he’s got some shit to say. Probably still has a black eye from last night he doesn’t remember how he got.

There’s a picture of him on Nextdoor on a post saying “STAY AWAY.”

To be fair, I guess he is allowed. Still gross, though.

That eye is practically custom-built to press up to a public bathroom peephole.

Despite the expression, he doesn’t use. He just takes private jets from the jungle to American airstrips with planefuls of contraband.

He looks harmless enough, until you run his license and realize it belongs to a dead woman. By then, he’s already hauling ass.

Eleven years of Social Security and disability checks, straight up his nose. All the while, his grandma’s eating cat food.

Who wouldn’t accept a 20 from this face? Therein lies the problem.

Can’t you just hear him saying, “Do you want to know if it’s legal, or do you want to know if it works?” Refuses to text, only calls.

His den is filled in equal parts with banana peels and blackmail material.

The supply of cud throughout the entire Midwest was controlled by this cow and his cronies.

Fourteen confirmed, three bodies still missing. They found him inside his last victim.