11 Monsters With Allergies Worse Than Yours
Allergies are a constant annoyance — and not just for humans. Even fearsome creatures of legend are annoyed, repelled or even destroyed by household items and substances. So the next time you’re hit with hay fever, just know that even beasts of hellish descent are susceptible to environmental hazards, too.
Vampires: Garlic
Vampires might be the most weakness-packed monster out there. Sure, there’s also sunlight, and stakes through the heart, but garlic has to be a killer. How scary is something really, when it would be writhing in pain from walking into an Olive Garden?
Ghosts: Salt
If you thought garlic meant you were stuck with badly seasoned foods, how about taking salt out of the equation entirely? You might be saying, “Yeah, but ghosts don’t eat.” Well, explain Slimer then? I’ve seen that guy take down a cart’s worth of hot dogs.
Manananggal: Vinegar
The lesser known Manananggal is still a real nightmare of a thing, able to separate its upper body from its lower half and fly around, frightening the townsfolk. Fortunately, it turns out they have a serious problem with vinegar.
Kappa: Sesame and Ginger
So far, this entire list could be taken out by a single salad dressing. But by far the most human-feeling medical issue so far belongs to the kappa, a Japanese yokai who, uh, drowns people and sucks their soul out of their anus. Stay weird, Japan.
Witches: Mistletoe
Not part of many recipes, but it has to make witches' lives difficult around the holidays. Have a friend who’s turned down every Christmas party invite you’ve ever sent her? Check her basement for a cauldron.
Wicked Witch of the West: Water
This specific witch has it much worse. How is this even possible? Shouldn’t she just die of dehydration? Can she have Mountain Dew, even though it’s technically flavored water? Rise from your grave and answer me, L. Frank Baum!
Fairies: Iron
If you think fairies are nice little fellas who weave flower circlets for babies, you need to broaden your reading material. The fae aren’t to be trifled with, and they sure would like to steal your child and raise it as their own. Luckily, they can't stand the touch of iron, so just lock your baby in a cage! Problem solved!
Werewolves: Silver
Another famous metal allergy is werewolves' problem with silver. Honestly, with the amount of jewelry people wear these days, they’d probably have to spend two hours finding a victim whose collection of vintage rings wouldn’t disintegrate their stomach.
Dullahan: Gold
The Dullahan, a legendary Irish headless horseman, is another creature forever forbidden from being dripped out. Gold is what sets this particular fellow off, meaning the Dullahan’s greatest enemy is probably the Italian guy who hangs out in front of my bodega.
Demons: Holy Water
The most annoying part of this is that regular water can become holy water at pretty much anytime it’s blessed. All you need to do is trick a demon into slamming a Dasani, and then have a priest fire off a blessing on it while it’s going down their throat. Bingo bango, dead demon.
Now you just have to worry about the hordes seeking vengeance.
Hitler: Broccoli
Now here’s a REAL monster, one with weaknesses of his own. It’s pretty well accepted at this point that Hitler had serious digestive issues, likely irritable bowel syndrome. Hopefully, the only thing we have in common. As an IBS warrior myself, I can tell you this: If Hitler put down a serving of broccoli, he’d be doing a big brown blitzkrieg in the nearest bathroom, schnell.