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40 Random Bits of Trivia About the United States of America That Will Sap the Patriotism Out of Your Brain

Wow, a lot of bad stuff has happened here

40 Random Bits of Trivia About the United States of America That Will Sap the Patriotism Out of Your Brain

September 28, 2024

These absolute goons wanted to mail the White House to St. Louis.

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40

HISTORY'S MOST FAMOUS GENERAL IS KILLED BY HIS OWN MEN 1863 CRACKED.co COM Thomas Stonewall Jackson was a legendary Confederate general during the Civil War, known for his balls-to-the-wall style of overwhelming the enemy, which ultimately was his downfall. As Stonewall Jackson was riding back to his encampment from behind enemy lines, his own men mistook him as a Union soldier and pumped him full of lead. — More: The 5 Most Embarrassing Failures in the History of War

39

The last surrender of the Civil War wasn’t in America.

The American Civil War officially ended in England, 6 months after the final battle. Captain Waddell of the CSS Shenandoah was unaware of the Confederate surrender and continued to sink Union ships off Alaska. When he ran into a Liverpool ship he sailed for Liverpool to surrender. CRACKED.COM — Liverpool Museums

38

Coca Cola was invented by a Confederate vet who developed a morphine addiction. GRAGKED.COM John Stith Pemberton started mixing different drug cocktails and eventually found a cocaine based variant he enjoyed quite well. — Source

37

Nathan Bedford Forrest

CONFEDERATE GENERAL NATHAN BEDFORD FORREST CRaun was the first grand wizard of the KKk. In 1869 he renounced his involvement and tried to shut down th

36

John Tyler is the only US President to not be officially mourned in Washington DC. CRACKED.COM During the Civil War, for- mer President John Tyler became a Confederate and was elected to serve in the Confederate congress. Не was not mourned officially due to his being a Confed- erate supporter. — Source

35

The Civil War CRACKED.COM During the extremely bloody Battle of the Wilderness, one Union and one Confederate soldier ended up hiding together in the same gully. Naturally, they tried to take each other prisoner, which devolved into a bare-knuckle boxing match. Eventually the fight spilled into view of the rest of the battle, which promptly halted as both sides stopped firing ... so they could get closer to the fight and cheer for their boy. — Source

34

When Home Guard soldiers killed his father and brother, Henry Berry Lowry formed a mixed-race gang and waged war on racists. The Confederate Home Guard was a paramilitary group that rounded up non-whites and pressed them into slavery. The Lowrys were members of the Lumbee tribe, and drew first blood by killing a Home Guard officer who got too grabby with the Lowry women. HENRY'S REVENGE: Henry spent the next seven years fighting, robbing, and killing plantation owners and notables, and openly warring against the Ku Klux Klan. In true Robin Hood fashion, Henry both took from the rich and — Source: 21 Long-Game Revenge Schemes

33

“Confederate Heritage Month” is meant to recognize the American Civil War.

WEIRD WORLD Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves declares April Confederate Heritage Month for the third year in a row. St S U Reeves is also proclaiming April as Genocide Awareness Month, pointing to atrocities that have been committed all over the globe - except, conveniently, in America. CRACKED.COM — Mississippi Free Press

32

The Confederacy

A lot of people think this is the Confederate flag. It isn't, and never was. For the first two years of the Civil War, the Confederate army marched under a flag called The Stars And Bars, a flag that looked a lot like the flag of the 13 original U.S. colonies. They eventually switched to one with the iconic blue X on red, but only as the corner of a white (for white supremacy) flag. CRACKED.COM John M. Coski, 2009. The Confederate Battle Flag: America's Most Embattled Emblem. — Source

31

ROBERT SMALLS ESCAPED SLAVERY BY STEALING A CONFEDERATE SHIP AND BECAME A CONGRESSMAN Не was paid money for his heist, which he used to buy his former enslaver's house. Не served in the House of Representatives for South Carolina. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

CRACKED.COM Native-Americans figured out the Enlightenment before it was cool. Native-American peoples practiced democratic arrangements whose sophistication was hotly praised by Enlightenment thinkers - meaning French and American innovations are more like the inferior, whitewashed remakes. — Source

29

Native Americans: Code Talkers of WWII.

CRACKED NATIVE AMERICANS SERVED AS CODE TALKERS, KEEPING SECRETS ON THE BATTLEFIELD. During WWII, the U.S. military enlisted Native Americans to become code talkers, using their tribal languages to send secret messages on the battlefield. At least 14 Native nations served as code talkers in the Pacific and Europe. — Rosemarie Mosteller/Shutterstock
National WWII Museum

28

CLEARANCE AMERICANS ARE TERRIFIED OF STRANGER DANGER, A FEAR NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTANDS In other countries it's not abnormal for a stranger to greet, hug, or pick up a child they don't know. A server at a restaurant moving an unruly child in a stroller into a designated room without asking the parent's permission would not be given a second thought. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

The Mountain Meadow Massacre Memorial in Central, Utah... is the original burial place of the approximately 120 immigrant men, women, and children who were executed in 1857 by Latter Day Saints (dressed as Native Americans) in a violent solution to stop them from crossing their wagons over Mormon land. It's a busy tourist site in southern Utah. CRAON — 23 Bone-Chillingly Creepy Real Places You Can Visit

26

BY INTERNATIONAL STANDARDS, AMERICAN PERSONAL SPACE REQUIREMENTS ARE GIGANTIC While Americans typically prefer to keep several feet between one other in social situations, many other cultures use less than a foot in the same interactions. They see the distance Americans maintain as absurdly far, and will move closer to fill the gap, often unaware of the discomfort felt by the American. GRACKED.COM — American Customs That Make No Sense To The Rest Of The World

25

John Quincy Adams

John Quincy Adams was a badass. Не was a shrewd negotiator who maintained a fitness regimen that included swimming the Potomac naked every morning. НЕ WAS ALSO A BIG FAN OF OUTDOOR BONING. And he assumed Americans invented it. The art of making love, muffled up in furs, in the open air, with the thermometer at Zero, is a Yankee invention, said Adams. CRACKED COM Phyllis Lee Levin, 2015 The Remarkable Education of John Quincy Adams — Source: The First Gay President: 18 Sexual Secrets Of US Presidents

24

AN ILL-TIMED SIESTA LEADS TO MEXICO LOSING TEXAS 1836 CRACKED COM Riding high off his victory at the Alamo (remember that?), Mexican General Santa Anna believed he was untouchable by the Americans. In San Jacinto, as the larger Mexican army napped, a single rank of the Texan army snuck up and found no guards were even posted to keep watch. The Texans overran the camp and won in 18 minutes. — Source: 13 Embarrassing Military Blunders From History

23

The diamond engagement ring was invented by an ad campaign in the 1930s. Before that few Americans proposed with the precious stone, and the price of dia- mond was falling. Now, 3/4ths of American brides wear a diamond engage- ment ring, which costs an average of $4,000. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

22

CRACKED.COM Iced tea was invented to cater to Americans' masculinity. Tea is not considered manly in the US, English social critic William Hogarth wrote as early as 1757. Lipton started marketing iced tea in the 19th century to be able to sell their stuff to Americans without making them feel emasculated. — Source

21

The United States, China and Japan US are the top three oil 20% consumers in the world. CHINA 11.7% Americans use more JAPAN oil than China and Japan 5.3% COMBINED. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Loreta Janeta Velazquez

Gender- Bending Badasses Loreta Janeta Velázquez was a Cuban woman who disguised herself as a man and fought in the Civil War for the South. She was wounded in two battles and later revealed to be a woman. She then became a Confederate spy and wrote a book about her exploits. CRACKED — Wiki Commons
American Battlefield Trust

19

conspiracies about crisis actors are an old thing. Long before Alex Jones started spouting his bullcrap about Sandy Hook, these conspiracy theories were used to fight integration. Right after the Civil War, black victims were accused of faking the racist abuse they got- and talk of paid protesters was common during the civil rights movement. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

Celebrating a Confederate exodus.

Every year, the American Descendants Fraternity in Brazil holds a FESTA CONFEDERADA It's a celebration of the history of the 10,000 Confederates who moved to Brazil after the U.S. Civil War. CRACKED — PhotosbyAndy/Shutterstock
The World

17

The last civil War widow died the year Barack Obama won his first presidential election. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED COM

16

Civil War generals were 50% liklier to die than privates. CRACKED .COM Unlike modern warfare, generals back then had to lead by example, by being the first person to charge into battle, on an easily targeted horse. — Source: The American Surgeon

15

Albert Cashier was a trans man who served in the Union Army during the Civil War. Cashier was captured but escaped and returned to service until he was honorably discharged. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

14

1.2 MILLION AMERICANS HAVE DIED IN WARS. Nearly half were from the Civil War CRACKED.COM — Source

13

There was a Civil War veterans' reunion in 1938 at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. It was the 75th anniversary of the battle, and about 1800 vets from both sides attended - the youngest was 88 years old, while the oldest was 118 (so he claimed, anyway). CRACKED.COM — Source

12

After the Civil War, the capital of the US was almost moved to St Louis. The scheme even involved disassembling important buildings like the White House and the Capitol building, and shipping them to St. Louis. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Disease was the biggest killer of the Civil War.

Disease and unsanitary conditions caused the majority of fatalities during the American Civil War. Twice as many soldiers died from disease as from battle wounds, the result of poor sanitation in an era that created mass armies that did not yet under- stand the transmission of infectious diseases. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — NPS

10

The tree of liberty

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants... Of course, this is an off-hand, rhetorical comment in a letter four years after the Revolutionary War...I can't imagine anyone using it to justify acts of domestic terrorism against the federal government I basically invented. -Thomas Jefferson, 13 Nov. 1787 CRACKED.COM — Source: 20 Inspirational Quotes That Everyone Gets Wrong

9

Save The Best For Last

CRACKED x MYTH George Washington was our first president. FACT Washington was the first president under the Constitution. For the first years after the end of the Revolutionary War, eight presidents were appointed under the Articles of Confederation, before the Constitution was ratified. — Delpixel/Shutterstock
Terrebonne Parish Library

8

Historical relic: check.

Historical Photos JOHN GRAY This isn't just any old-timey photo - it's a photo of Revolutionary War veteran John Gray, who claimed to have been one of George Washington's favorite soldiers. How often do you get to see a photo of someone older than the U.S.? CRACKED — Library of Congress
PhillyVoice

7

Places named Lincoln are mostly named after Benjamin, not Abraham.

Most places in the Southern United States named Lincoln are not named after Honest Abe. These places mostly get the name from Revolutionary War general Benjamin Lincoln, rather than the 16th president. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Register of Kentucky / Wikipedia

6

Marquis De Lafayette became a major general at age 19 When he was 16, he was a second lieutenant. Не was considered a war hero in both the American Revolutionary War and the French Revolution. CRACKED.COM — Monticello

5

Benedict Arnold tried to get Canada to fight with the US.

Benedict Arnold tried to invade Canada. Before he became a spy for the British, Patriot officer Benedict Arnold was sent to take the city of Quebec In an attempt to force the province of Quebec into joining the fight against the British during the Revolutionary War. Arnold's campaign ended in a disastrous defeat that nearly cost him his life. CRACKED.COM — Vox / Wikipedia

4

The first piece of legislation in congress helped pay for the Revolutionary War.

The first piece of legislation passed by the 1 st U.S. Congress was a 50¢ tariff. The Tariff of 1789 levied a 50¢ ($16 today) per ton duty on goods imported by foreign ships. President Washington signed the act and the money was used to pay off the Revolutionary War debt. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — US History

3

George Washington

GEORGE WASHINGTON PUT IN EXTRA EFFORT TO ENSURE SLAVERY Starting in 1780, the Washingtons transported their enslaved workers in and out of Pennsylvania every six months to avoid a law that would have allowed for their freedom. Washington was an enslaver since he inherited 10 slaves at the age of 11. By the Revolutionary War, he enslaved 150 people. CRACKED.COM — Source: History

2

Dwayne The Rock' Johnson's father descended from Black Loyalists. Escaping Southern plantations following The Revolutionary War, they immigrated to N — Source: Solomon, Brian (2006). WWE Legends. Simon and Schuster.

1

Deborah CRACKED Sampson COM son Enlisted in the Continental Army in 1782 during The Revolutionary War disguised as a man. In an effort to not be expos

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