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12 Awesome-Looking Currencies We Lost to the Dumb Euro

Imagine how cool a briefcase full of one of these suckers used to be

September 20, 2024

The formation of the European Union and countries’ decision to join it (and unjoin it, and rejoin it) mark a huge moment in history. What gets left behind, however, is just how cool some of the currencies that got replaced by the boring old euro were. Here, we appreciate some sick looking paper bills that are no longer legal tender…

Greek Drachma

Economically? The drachma wasn’t doing great. Aesthetically? C’mon. This looks like something you could bribe the grim reaper with.

Estonian Kroon

The man pictured is apparently Estonia’s greatest novelist, Anton Hansen Tammsaare. Whoever he is, he’s SMOLDERING. Forget a wallet, I’m putting this thing in my locker. Hunk alert!

Portuguese Escudo

Couple some sick portraits and one very awesome haircut with lettering that looks pulled off a black metal band T-shirt? Forking over one of these must have felt cool as hell.

Luxembourg Franc

You know the Grand Duke of Luxembourg had to be pissed that he had to give up his stranglehold on literally every denomination of money. “For payment, here are six green pictures of me, and one red picture of me. Thank you.”

Lithuanian Lita

This picture is of Zemaite, who was a writer, educator and apparently a very unhappy person. It’s like she’s disappointed in how broke you are too.

Belgian Franc

Whoa! Check this thing out! It’s like the best doodle you ever did in math class. You’d be edging your notebook into your crush’s view, hoping they were like, “That’s sick.” Cool S, eat your heart out.

Slovenian Tolar

Teal money? Go off, Slovenia. I never knew you made your money vaporwave. You could pop any of these on an Urban Outfitters graphic tee and they’d sell.

Italian Lire

How dare you wrong that sweet old lady by making her currency obsolete. Shame on you.

Irish Pound

Any piece of paper with Gaelic on it automatically seems like it was torn out of a spell book, which I mean as a deep compliment. Couple that with James Joyce staring at you like “pretty cool, huh?” The only thing that could make this better is if it had been a picture of him with the eye patch. Missed opportunity, to be honest.

Finnish Markka

Does every famous person from Finland look like they’d be a beloved character actor? These are practically trading cards.

Dutch Gulden

One of the few currencies featuring a cool hat, now lost to time. Sleep well, my fashionable child.

German Deutschmark

Yeah, this one was probably fine to get rid of. Chill with the eagles and the aggression, Germany. Of course, they made a currency that seems like it’s screaming at you.