21 of the Best Weapons to Use in a Legitimate Food Fight

Not to get all Jonathan Frakes on you, but have you ever been in a food fight? We see them all the time on TV but so rarely in real life, probably because if we ever pulled that shit in our middle school cafeterias, we’d be trapped inside until it was all cleaned up. And we wouldn’t see the sun for a month.

But maybe you’ve experienced a modest food fight. Maybe just a roll thrown at your brother at the dinner table or experimenting with involuntary popcorn accessorizing at the movies. Maybe you’ve even participated in an honest-to-goodness, knockdown, drag-out food fight just like you see in the movies. Odds are, it wasn’t that serious. It was all in good fun, resulting in no hard feelings and few injuries more severe than lemon juice in the eye.

But what if it was serious? What if you were a Hollywood ruffian and the rival gang insisted on meeting for a rumble at the Sizzler? Would you go the chemical warfare route with a hot pepper? Brute force with a denser plant? Grab something you could quickly carve into a knife? Or just have fun with it?

These were the questions weighing on user cmk112’s mind when they asked r/AskReddit, “In a serious food fight, a food fight to the death, what would be the most appropriate food weapon?”

Their fellow Redditors provided a culinary armory in response.