David Letterman’s Jury Duty Appearance Was His Funniest Gig in Years

5 Funny Women Who Did ‘SNL’ While Pregnant

33 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 18, 2024

This Filthy ‘King of the Hill’ Animation Error Is Against Everything Hank Stands For

12 Fresh Trivia Tidbits for Wednesday, September 18, 2024

35 Corporations and Power Brokers Who Owe the World an Apology

Don’t make us sit cross-legged outside your buildings again!

35 Corporations and Power Brokers Who Owe the World an Apology

September 16, 2024

Motivation to gather up a cluster of facts can come from anywhere. Today, it came from an unsuccessful trip to the ATM. Who is to blame for this denial? Certainly not us!

So we walked back to the office to furiously scrounge for the biggest dill weeds in the financial game! Putting their crimes and/or blunders on display for the world to see will make it all better.

Well, maybe not all better, You gonna eat the rest of that sandwich?

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

36

Coc Coca-Cola has been linked to extreme water shortages in developing countries where supplies are scarce, includng several Indian states and in Latin America. Researchers have uncovered areas in Rajasthan where farmers have been unable to irrigate their fields after Coca-Cola established a bottling plant. Incidentally, it takes 3 liters of water to brew 1 liter of soda. http wwwww.theguardian.com/money/2006/mar/19/business.indiat http://www.globalissues.org/article/601/water-and-development GRACKED.COM #CocaColavsindianFarmersLuxuryaNecessity — Source

35

In the 1970s, many IKEA furniture items were built in East Germany-often by prisoners in slave labor conditions. The company apologized in 2012. IKEA IKEA Heimeinrichtung - CRACKED.COM — Source

34

In 1954, United Fruit Company (now Chiquita) played an instrumental role in deposing Guatemala's democratically elected government because its proposed land reforms threatened the company's monopoly in the region. 1920 1 UNITED FRUIT COMPANY The coup plunged Guatemala into a brutal civil war which lasted for over 40 years. GRACKED COM — Source

33

Specialty coffees from Ethiopia sell for up to co a $26 a pound at Starbucks, while only about $1 goes to Ethiopian farmers. In 2006, the Ethiopian government attempted to trademark regional coffees such as Harar and Sidamo. Starbucks, working through the National Coffee Association, blocked Ethiopia's trademark bid, helping ensure the continuation of poverty in an already impoverished region. http://www.spiegel.de/international/a-hot-cup-of-money-starbucks-ethiopia-and- the-coffee-branding-wars-a-448191.htm CRACKED.COM — Source

32

In 2003, Halliburton was contracted to fix Iraqi oil wells damaged as a result of coalition attacks in the region. During those repairs, they imported oil from Kuwait to supply U.S. troops and the Iraqi people at a rate of $2.64 per gallon. The going rate for oil from Kuwait was only 71 cents per gallon. GRAGKED.COM — Source

31

CRACKED APPLE, DISNEY, GOLDMAN SACHS, AND CITIGROUP After Russia invaded Ukraine, big companies like Apple, Disney, Goldman Sachs, and Citigroup said they'd leave the market. But, months later, they were still doing business in Russia. — Source

30

29

CRACKED DUPONT In June 1941, during WWII, IG Farben opened a factory at Monowitz to make synthetic rubber for the military. Thousands of Jews were forced to work there, and DuPont gave IG Farben the tech to make it happen, helping Nazi Germany start the war. — Source

28

CRACKED FORD Ford Motor Company was one of 500 firms linked to Auschwitz; it's not clear how much they were involved. Some of the companies used slave labor, others just asked about using Auschwitz inmates. — Source

27

CRACKED KODAK Kodak had subsidiaries trading with Nazi Germany even after the US joined the war, buying photographic supplies for 72,000 Swiss francs in 1942 and 1943. The US Embassy in London called these substantial purchases. KODAK you the FOR KODAK 41 KODAK 43 - KOREA STORE = ROBART - - DESIGN eto 41 KOREAN CARINGO KODAK DE KODAAS SOCKI FOR MOTER PARKS HAND SAO Clince MATERIALS KODAK POLING AVELT POOKET KOREAN KORAKS 4-3 KODAK KODAK KODAK - KODAK KODAK UNTER KODAK KODAK KODAK KODAK KODAK UNITED veria - UNTO 43 43 — Source

26

CRACKED GENERAL MOTORS General Motors was way more important to the Nazis than Switzerland. Switzerland just held stolen money, but GM was a key part of the German war machine. The Nazis could've invaded Poland and Russia without Switzerland, but not without GM. 1234 Science STOCKHOLN 115 — Source

25

CRACKED RED BULL Red Bull announced on their website that they stopped all marketing activities and investments in Russia in March, in line with the EU and US sanctions. But their drinks are still on shelves in Russia, while Pepsi and Coca-Cola have pulled out. 126% oz 12 FL OZ 1280 Terre WW - buring Material - - - - lighty which Bul ed Bull Red Bull Red Bu Red Bul Red Bu Red B Red RedB DE ERGY DRIN DRINK ENERGY D NERGY DRI ENERGY DI ENERGYD ENERGY OR RGY and mind body and mind body and Volices body end AK — Source

24

CRACKED TAQUERIA CHAIN USES FAKE PRIEST TO SCARE EMPLOYEES OUT OF ASKING FOR UNPAID WAGES. A taqueria chain in Northern California was caught forcing employees to confess their sins to a fake priest in order to scare them into retracting their requests for unpaid wages. — Source

23

CRACKED TOURIST SUBMARINE STEERED WITH A DECADE-OLD $30 GAME CONTROLLER. In 2022, a CBS Sunday Morning show showed that the tourist submarine Titan was being steered with a Logitech F710 wireless PC game controller from 2010 that cost $30. Ocean — Source

22

CRACKED RUSSIA'S BACK IN THE DOLPHIN BUSINESS. In 2016, the Russian military wanted to buy five dolphins to bring back their old practice of using the smart sea creatures for military operations, like planting bombs on enemy ships. — Source

21

Businesses: Now with voting rights.

CRACKED LETTING BUSINESSES VOTE: BECAUSE DEMOCRACY ISN'T COMPLICATED ENOUGH ALREADY. In Delaware, there's a suggestion that businesses like LLCs, corporations, trusts, and partnerships should be allowed to vote in local elections. — Source

20

The 'dirty dozen' still thriving in Russia despite Putin's invasion and sanctions.

CRACKED THE DIRTY DOZEN (CORPORATIONS, NOT COWBOYS) Three FTSE 100 companies - HSBC, Unilever, and BP - are part of the dirty dozen still doing business in Russia, according to a new report. They've found ways to stay despite Putin's invasion, despite international sanctions. op WiLD BEAN CAFE 1970 Bleifrei Ultimate 2 120 98 Ultimate Diesel 2 16° 20 10 Diesel ultimate offen 24h — Source

19

In 2009, the Barrick Gold Corporation helped police burn down hundreds of houses in Papua New Guinea to clear the way for gold mining operations. The — Source

18

A corporate-driven, pro-American-capitalism movie was released (and flopped) in 2008.

Wal-Mart, Соса-Соӏа, American Airlines and other corporations released a movie called Proud American in 2008. The movie featured an overly-patriotic sto- ryline about the won- ders of American life. It was a failure, and be- came IMDB's worst mov- ie of the 2000's. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

17

One building in Delaware is a tax haven for thousands of businesses.

15% of all public corporations in the United States use a single building in Delaware as their registered address. Arcada Street our CRACKED.COM The Corporation Trust Center acts as a tax haven for 285,000+ businesses, including Google, Apple, American Airlines, General Motors, and Coca-Cola. — Source

16

CRACKED COM The tax code No. Check will be written 2471546 2306 SO poorly that a REFUND CTS loophole will DOLLARS allow $91316513.80 corporations to O — Source

15

Wal-Mart used to take out life insurance policies on their employees. WAL MART SECTION GUARANTEED CRACKED.COM The corporation would then keep the payouts when they died, a prac- tice colloquially known as Dead Peasant Insur- ance. — Source

14

There's a forgotten experimental hovertrain rotting in Pueblo, Colorado. It was a collaboration between NASA, MIT, Princeton, and the Grumman Aerospace Corporation, but the money ran out in 1975, so they just abandoned the prototype. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

CRACKED YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT. CHESHIRE AMERICAN EED ELECTRIC KED CORPORATION LIMIT POWER AR In 2002, American Electric Power bought out the entire town of Cheshire, Ohio due to air pollution problems caused by its smokestacks and blue plume clouds containing sulphuric acid that blanketed the area. — Source

12

CRACKED OFFER NECK СОНТН AX JIL HER #News Corporation body NEWS CORP. News Corp. sold Myspace for $35 million, a huge loss compared to the $580 million they paid for it in 2005. — Source

11

Ancient Evil Corporations

CRACKED MODERN MEGACORPS CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO SOME OLD-TIMEY COMPANIES. Adjusted for inflation, there are at least three corporations that were far more profitable than any enterprise currently in business today. Shocker, at least two were slavery-based. — Source

10

Three companies own almost all of the S&P 500. S&P 500 3,669.01 +6.56 2-DA 3681 3672 3663 3654 7 SSS Taken together, the financial firms Vanguard, BlackRock and State Street are the largest single shareholder for almost 90% of the companies that make up the S&P 500. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

9

Ted Turner's gamble: Lost.

CRACKED PRE UB THE NATI L PRESS C В $8 BILLION BECAUSE OF A MERGER Ted Turner saw a huge financial loss of around $8 billion after America Online and Time Warner merged in 2001. Не had massive holdings of the new company's stock, and its price absolutely plummeted. — Source

8

They Got Mixed Up in Apartheid THEREOF HAVE BEEN RESERVED FOR THE EXCLUSIVE USE OF WHITE PERSONS. By Order Provincial Secretary VIR GEBRUIK DEUR BLANKES At the height of apartheid in South Africa, Coca-Cola was one of the country's largest employers, leading to boycotts in the '80s. In 1986, they made noises about closing down their South African bottling and can- ning operations, but they never truly left the country, and experts at the time predicted the move would make no financial difference at all to the company. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

7

Someone warned us about Madoff, but we didn’t listen.

Harry Markopolos warned people about Bernie Madoff, but no one would listen. The Boston financial analyst knew Madoff's results weren't possible, but between a petty rivalry between the SEC's New York and Boston offices and a staff consisting of lawyers who don't actually understand the financial industry, nothing happened. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

CRACKED ELON MUSK Elon Musk's net worth has dropped $9 billion since buying Twitter, and he is now facing a number of financial challenges in owning the company. — Source

5

The NFL was a non-profit organization until 2015. NFL - The League voluntarily gave up their non-profit stance, which enabled them to avoid paying tax- es, to gain an extra layer of secrecy about their inner financial workings. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

4

Insert Home Page Cut Ca Copy Using Excel cost JPMorgan billions. You'd think that a huge financial company would use something fancier than Excel. JPMorgan didn't - to assess risky investments, they relied on a complex series of spreadsheets. Predictably, small errors snowballed, eventually costing the company over $6 billion in 2012. В A CRACKED.COM — Source

3

More of your federal income tax dollars go towards interest on the national debt than all of these categories combined: Job Training and Employment Services Employment Training for the Disabled Elementary and Secondary Education Energy Supply and Conservation Foreign Humanitarian Assistance The National Science Foundation Natural Resources Management Environmental Protection Community Development College Financial Aid Agriculture and NASA. GRAGKED.COM — Source

2

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Source

1

Sewn into Sacks!

British parliament debated a resolution for bankers to be sewn into sacks with snakes and dumped into the Thames river. One of the first recognisably modern financial crises was the South Sea Bubble in 1720. Many thousands of British citizens, including Sir Isaac Newton, invested their savings in a scam and were impoverished when it burst. CRACKED.COM — Source

Tags:

Visual

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Movies & TV

‘SNL’ Gave the ‘Seinfeld’ Finale the Perfect Follow-Up

Movies & TV

Chevy Chase and Donald Glover Were Originally Supposed to Be ‘Community’s Troy and Abed

Trivia & Jokes

25 Random Bits of Trivia To Pop Your Skull Like a Popcorn Kernel

Movies & TV

34 Trivia Tidbits About Movies and TV Shows

Movies & TV

8 Supremely Dumb Sitcom Premises

Movies & TV

Steve Jobs and Disney Would Both Be Proud of This Clause That’s Buried in the Casa Bonita Reservation’s Release Page

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

14 Groanworthy Puns From r/Jokes That Will Make You Ashamed of the Entire English Language

2

20 Famous Actors That Didn't Get The Part (For Dumb Reasons)

3

33 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 18, 2024

4

13 Cool Trivia Tidbits To Make Our Day A Bit More Bearable

5

15 First and Last Lines Of The Best Characters On Beloved TV Shows