12 Very Poorly Taxidermied Animals
In any discipline of art, making the subject look natural and lifelike is challenging. In taxidermy, though, the results of beefing that up are about 100 times as unsettling, thanks to the abundance of genuine flesh and fur involved.
Seal With Diarrhea
He looks like he’s waiting in line for a Starbucks bathroom and trying to figure out whether he’s buying new pants today or not.
Opioid-Addicted Polar Bear
This is a tableau of CPS (Cub Protective Services) showing up to take his son away.
‘90s Movie Nut-Shot Bat
This is the face a stuffy old dean makes when he walks into the booby trap set for him by the fraternity he put on probation, resulting in a rake handle striking his groin.
Surprised Tiger
This definitely doesn’t give the impression that the tiger in question was hunted honorably. He looks like a Wojak meme that conservative tigers post on Tiger Twitter to make fun of libs.
Cockeyed Owl
Owls are known for their incredible eyesight. Well, some owls.
Mortified Monkey
The energy of the very second you open a broken office bathroom stall door and lock eyes with a grown man crapping out his Sweetgreen.
A Fox That’s A Little Freak
This fox is sitting in a bush outside your local gym, trying to buy people’s used workout clothes.
Cross-Eyed Cat
SCANNING FOR RODENTS — TARGET ACQUIRED, 23 DEGREES WEST
Creep Cat
This cat is going to send you weekly Instagram DMs until you’re 80.
Zombie Squirrel
I think you might want to check behind your taxidermy desk for the rest of the mouth. Fairly prominent portion of the animal.
World’s Dumbest Warthog
The facial expression of an unattended eight-year-old at a water park who’s about eat three popsicles and throw up in the trashcan.
Welp
This is, honestly, the expression every taxidermied animal should have. Very record scratch “So, I bet you're wondering how I ended up skinned, stuffed and displayed in a pawn shop.”
