Truth to Power: Roasting 12 Crusty Old Kings

This guy looks like if Super Mario had a “guillotine” power-up.

He looks like someone they’d find hiding under the floor of a women’s public bathroom.

“Damn, I never should have smoked that shit, now I’m the King of France.”

Today he’d be known as “the TSA’s Greatest Enemy.”

Incredible that all of Bavaria bowed to a man who looks like he sells electric keyboards.

There must be a flounder somewhere in his bloodline. Guy could press his head against a wall and still see the whole room perfectly.

Nice hat!

All hail King Eeyore! He looks like a guy who was about to kill himself, but then he won the lottery and figured he’d stick it out.

A robe, a staff and strappy gladiator sandals? What are you, judging a vogueing competition where the loser is put to death?

I have never seen a guy who looks so embarrassingly excited to be king. Probably said “Hooray!” at his own coronation. This is the face of someone who is going to be violently overthrown and beheaded within the week.

If a seagull ate a magic French fry that turned them into a man, here’s what he’d look like.

This guy looks like he spends $4,000 a month on OnlyFans.