20 of the Dirtiest Facts You Never Learned in History Class

You know that children’s book, Everybody Poops? Well, there should be an adult-oriented companion volume called Everybody Fucks. (Almost everyone, at least — shout out to our asexual readers.) You may not like to think about it, but just about everyone in history has gotten down and dirty at some point. They pooped too, which is also unsettling to think about.

Most of us, however, will leave no record of our bathing suit area activities. That sort of thing is limited to historical figures and OnlyFans creators, and the type of person extraordinary enough to be remembered centuries later probably got pretty weird with it. It’s also important to remember that some of the most significant events in human history were put in motion by, well, humans, and they had genitals with genitular needs.

So when user Papa_pierogi asked r/AskReddit, “What is a weird NSFW historical fact?” we all found out our history classes only gave us the PG-rated versions of events.