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30 Bits of Fake News That Have Probably Permeated Your Brain

Like you tell your mom on Facebook, don’t believe everything you read

30 Bits of Fake News That Have Probably Permeated Your Brain

September 03, 2024

Pre-Google, it was so easy to believe everything you heard. Especially if some confident person was spouting off about something that they very much seemed to be an expert in. What were you gonna do? Go to the library or crack open one of the encyclopedias in your dad’s office? Hell no!

Well, there’s no excuse anymore, bucko! That smartphone in our pocket let us know that a whole bunch of those “facts” were a bunch of bull-hooey. Here’s the real truth.

You’ll have to research wild claims for yourself from now on, though.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

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MYTH Ostriches bury their heads in the sand when they're scared. TRUTH Ostriches run (at high speeds) when they're scared. They never bury their heads. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

SONAR SCREENS LOOK LIKE THIS. NOT #0555-7 +36-73 Longs tude +02-73 LT ... STATUS OK 025 day Mode 323 COMMER 22:07-01 FPA-0 I I W4-7658 - Survey Smith Signature Course 1481 C-0-9782 detecting screws - Chemistry Presenting - deterious - - - F - 80% People mostly use passive screens (right) that involve listening to highly sensitive microphones and complex calculations. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Margarine is more healthy than butter, right? Actually, neither is healthier than the other. We switched to margarine hoping to avoid heart disease, but it's been attributed to high consumption of both: butter is high in saturated fat, and while it's gotten better in recent years, margarine has a high level of trans fat. GRACKED.COM — Source

27

Diamonds From Coal CRACKED.GOM If you compress coal for a very long time under high pressure, eventually, you will waste an incredible amount of time. Diamonds form from a separate process that has nothing to do with coal, much deeper below ground. — Source

26

MYTH: CARBOHYDRATES SHOULD MAKE UP THE MAJORITY OF YOUR DIET. Fats Oils & Sweets KEY D occuring and added USE SPARINGLY Sugars sadded - - - - adidas sugars - Mik Yogurt & Meat Poutry Fish Dy Beans Cheese Group Eggs & Nuts Group 2-3 SERVINGS 23 SERVINGS Vagatable Group Fruit Group 3-5 SERVINGS 2-4 SERVINGS Broad Cereal Rice & Pasta Group 611 SERVINGS CRACKED.COM We have lobbyists to blame for the 1992 USDA food pyramid we all remember from health class, which put carbs as the building blocks of a well balanced diet. USDA nutritionists called for 3-4 daily servings of whole-grain — Source

25

Oh, Canada, where medical treatment is provided by public hospitals and paid for by the government. EMERGE NF anada Unless that treatment involves medication. You're expected to pay for medication. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Chloroform can knock you out in seconds. REALITY: Nope, try five minutes. While chloroform has been used in murder cases, it doesn't have an immediate effect on a damp cloth over one's face. It will take around five minutes to kick in, and there will be a lot of kicking from the victim. In real murder cases, victims were usually tricked into taking the anaesthetic, or giving drugs prior to getting chloroformed. — Source

23

MYTH Roadrunners can outrun those pesky coyotes. TRUTH Roadrunners can run up to 20 mph, but coyotes can run twice as fast. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Stop using room temperature butter when you're making a pie crust! Handling room temperature butter could start warming the dough, which results in the creation of gluten. Excess gluten can make your crust tough instead of buttery and flaky. Instead, use cold butter for the perfect pie crust. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

NEANDERTHALS WERE NOT DIM-WITTED. They were capable of complex thought, communication, and sophisticated technology. And they bred with modern humans. CRACKED.COM — Source

20

Ancient Flat Earth Beliefs CRACKED.COM We like to think that people have only known the earth was round since Columbus didn't fall off. But the Greeks not only knew it, they even calculated its circumference. Which means flat-earthers could travel to 500 BC and still be considered dumb. — Source

19

MYTH: CHAMELEONS CHANGE COLOR TO BE CAMOUFLAGE. CRACKED.COM Unlike an octopus or cuttlefish that will use the ability to change color to hide from predators or sneak up on prey, the chameleon does not use this ability to blend into the environment. Chameleons instead use color changing to regulate their heat or to communicate to other chameleons. — Source

18

WHEN YOU TRAVEL TO LONDON, DON'T EVER CALL THIS TOWER BIG BEN.THE TOWER ITSELF IS CALLED ELIZABETH TOWER. NOW THIS IS BIG BEN. BIG BEN IS THE NAME GIVEN TO THE BELL INSIDE THE ELIZABETH TOWER. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

CRACKED.COM MYTH: Bonnie and Clyde: The Legendary Bank Robbers. REALITY: They mostly robbed small grocery stores and gas stations. In the four years the Barrow gang targeted banks, they hit less than 15, didn't get away with much money, and a lot of times Bonnie stayed home and wasn't even involved. It was also easier to rob places with lower risk and quicker getaways. — Source

16

THe STEREOTYPE... BRITISH TEETH ARE TERRIBLE. BUT in REALITY... BRITS HAVE THE BEST TEETH IN THE WORLD. The British aren't that into braces, so you might see more crooked smiles there than in America. But with 0.6 cavities per person, they have healthier teeth than people in America-or any other country. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

THe STEREOTYPE... MOODY? MUST BE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH! BUT in REALITY... PMS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MOOD SWINGS. We're not saying that hormones don't change behavior-they do, in both women and men. But there's little evidence that women become emotionally compromised or irrational during the supposed PMS phase. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

CRACKED.COM Black men are particularly well endowed. ALSE Recent research shows there's no correlation between race and penis size. — Source

13

THe STEREOTYPE... VIKINGS PLUNDERED IN HORNED HELMETS. BUT in REALITY... NOPE. JUST REGULAR HATS. If you want a career in hand-to-hand combat, don't wear anything that's easy for people to grab. You don't want something on your hat that is essentially a giant set of handlebars. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

YOU CAN FREELY CONSUME ANY DRUGS IN AMSTERDAM Actually, all drugs are forbidden in the Netherlands. The government only tolerates very small amounts of weed under specific conditions. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

THe STEREOTYPE... WOMEN SUCK AT DRIVING. BUT in REALITY... NOT AS MUCH AS MEN DO. Men die twice as often in car crashes. In fact, auto insurers historically offered women lower rates because they drive better-a discount that's only now going away because of laws banning gender discrimination. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

THe STEREOTYPE... GOSSIP IS A WOMAN'S GAME. BUT in REALITY... MEN CAN'T RESIST IT AT ALL. When men and women hear a juicy secret, many men will share it with someone almost immediately after learning about it. Polled women, on the other hand, keep it to themselves for at least three and a half hours. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

THE STEREOTYPE... BODY DISORDERS? THAT'S A WOMAN THING. BUT in REALITY... THEY'RE JUST AS COMMON IN MEN. The difference is that in men, it usually means scarfing protein rather than bingeing and purging. But even if we're just talking about bulimia and anorexia, a quarter of sufferers are men. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Contrary to the stereotype of Australians being constantly at risk of death by venomous snake or spider, the leading culprit in animal-related deaths is... the horse. CRACKED.COM In fact, there hasn't been a single recorded spider-related death in Australia since 1980. — Source

7

ALL MUSLIMS ARE ARABS WORLD WBEZ STUDIO6 VERZO WBEZBLS WBEZ15 WBEZ FOR STUDIO .. King - Actually, only 20% of Muslims are of Arab ethnicity. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

Stereotypes about Jewish people being reluctant to spend money are malarkey. In 2016, Jewish Americans gave more than twice what Catholics gave to charity, and more than 33% more than Protestant Christians. S CRACKED.COM — Source

5

THE IDEA THAT SENIOR CITIZENS VOTE CONSERVATIVE BECAUSE THEY ABANDONED THEIR YOUTHFUL IDEALISM AS THEY AGED IS A RESULT OF SURVIVORSHIP BIAS. THOSE WITH MORE MONEY ALWAYS LEAN TO THE RIGHT REGARDLESS OF AGE, AND THOSE WITHOUT MONEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO DIE OF How POVERTY-RELATED CAUSES BEFORE THEY REACH SENIORITY. CRACKED COM — Source

4

Manliness won't help you fight the flu. Quite the opposite. Testosterone suppresses the immune system, which is why it takes men longer to recover from the flu. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

THe STEREOTYPE... MEN HATE COMMITMENT. BUT in REALITY... NOT AS MUCH AS WOMEN DO. Polled men are quicker than women to fall in love and want children across the board. 77 percent of women crave independence in a relationship, as opposed to 58 percent of men. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

THE STEREOTYPE... BLUE IS FOR BOYS! PINK IS FOR GIRLS! BUT in REALITY... THOSE USED TO RUN THE OPPOSITE WAY. A 1918 editorial from Earnshaw's Infants' Department said pink was a more decided and stronger color ... more suitable for the boy; while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl. CRACKED.COM — Source

1

THE STEREOTYPE... MEN ARE PLAYERS, WOMEN ARE PRUDES. BUT in REALITY... SOME PEOPLE JUST LIE. Research says women underreport their sexual activity. Hook them up to a lie detector, and they suddenly claim to have had more sexual partners than even men do. CRACKED.COM — Source

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