20 of the Most Hilariously Lopsided Battles in History

‘The Battle of Agincourt’
20 of the Most Hilariously Lopsided Battles in History

The human inclination toward the underdog is a curious thing. You’d think it would be our tendency to side with the guy most likely to win, but for some reason, whether it’s a romantic comedy or the Super Bowl, we absolutely hate people who are good at things. We want the loser with a heart of gold to win, probably because, deep down, we suspect we are that loser. Heart of gold debatable.

But sometimes, Goliath is simply so comically bigger than David that David should probably just sit this one out. It’s happened over and over in history — whether literally outnumbered, outarmed or out-sensed, ragtag bands of misfits have fought the power, usually to lose immediately. When user MidnightQ_ asked r/AskReddit, “What are historical examples of ‘don’t pick fights you can’t win?’” the replies abounded with little guys who got their asses handed to them.

6y ago см Punk thinking he could walk into the UFC in his late 30s with no MMA experience...
spitfire9107 6y ago Cambodia attacking Vietnam
RECOGNI7E 6y ago War of 1812. Good way to get your capital building burnt down.
DazzleMeAlready 6y ago Anyone trying to conquer Afghanistan. Never launch a land war in Asia!
KimchiLegion 6y ago Y'all not even mentioning Korea's fight against Japan in which a few turtle ships vs 30 of Japan's best ships the koreans had one damaged ship and the Japan's all had sunk ships
Dahhhkness 6y ago The shah of the Khwarezm empire humiliating and killing Genghis Khan's diplomatic envoys. A few years later, there was no Khwarezm empire anymore.
crepuscular_caveman 6y ago The Battle of Hattin when the crusaders marched an army across the desert without any water to go fight Saladin, by the time the two armies met the crusaders were already dying of thirst.
Insectshelf3 6y ago Egypt, and by extension its allies, during the six day war TL:DR, Egypt moves forces towards Israel. Israel goes ballistic and in 6 days completely decimated Egypt's Air Force and beats the shit out of 3 of it's allies before eventually calming down.
6y ago Battle of Omdurman: Egypt and Britain vs. Madhist Sudan. ~400 casualties to ~25,000 casualties (and 5,000 captured). Textbook showcase of being outmatched in weaponry.
UnconstrictedEmu 6y ago The Battle of Agincourt. Heavily armored French knights sounds like a great way to win medieval battles...until you go up against English longbows capable of punching holes in said armor like a wet sheet of paper.
Vlaed 6y ago Edited 6y ago The Franco-Prussian War (Also known as Franco-German war) It can be argued that the Germans provoked the attack but France attacked and six months later the Northern German Confederation won. This then led to German unification and the crowning of the Kaiser. As the ultimate insult, they crowned William I in the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles, France.
CarbonSpectre 6y ago The Paraguayan War of 1864-70. Paraguay vs. Brazil, Uruguay, and Argentina. Paraguay lost almost 70% of its adult male population, according to some estimates.
Warburton_Warrior 6y ago All the European powers a the time who declared war on Napoleon's France, it took 6 coalition wars just to get rid of him (7 if you include Waterloo). Не pretty much was wiping the floor with every empire, he even dissolved the Holy Roman Empire in the process which had existed for 1000 years.
SAINGS-Nolls 6y ago The Winter War between the USSR and Finland. The USSR thinks it can roll into Finland like it did in the Baltic states, and instead gets bogged down fighting a well prepared Finland. Ends in a treaty with minor territorial adjustments. Huge embarrassment for the USSR.
Portarossa - 6y ago Edited 6y ago The Falklands. For anyone unfamiliar, the Falkland Islands are a small archipelago about 300 miles away from Argentina, in the South Atlantic. There's not a lot going on there, but the people on those islands generally consider themselves British. (For real: in March 2013, the Falkland Islands held a referendum on its political status in which 99.8 percent of voters favoured remaining a British overseas territory.) That didn't stop Argentina invading in 1982, as they thought the islands - - as they call them, Las Malvinas s --rightly belonged to them. It didn't go so well. (Then
badcgi 6y ago Mithridates (and family). Mithridates was the king of Pontus. (As a side note he was so afraid of being poisoned that he dosed himself with small amounts to make himself immune, this will come in to play later on) he was exasperated at the Romans ruling over what he viewed as his rightfully kingdom, so when the Romans back was turned he attacked the Roman towns in the area. Well Rome wouldn't stand for it so they sent an army and quickly beat them. Then a few years later, he tried it again, he even ended up
6y ago Custer's Last Stand (The Battle of the Little Bighorn). The Battle of the Little Bighorn was an armed engagement between combined forces of the Lakota, Northern Cheyenne, and Arapaho tribes and the 7th Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army. The US 7th Cavalry, including the Custer Battalion (a force of 700 men led by Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer) suffered a major defeat. Five of the 7th Cavalry's 12 companies were annihilated and Custer was killed, as were two of his brothers, a nephew and a brother-in-law.
E_G_Never 6y ago The invasion of the Italian peninsula by Pyrrhus of Epirus. Не technically won his war with the Romans, but suffered such heavy casualties that the term pyrrhic victory was coined.
sd51223 6y ago Edited 6y ago The Anglo-Zanzibar war of 1896. Which lasted 38 minutes. The small island of Zanzibar was a British colony at the time. The Sultan died, and the British had a hand-picked successor. But before this successor could arrive, the previous Sultan's cousin declared himself in charge instead and barricaded himself in the palace. Britain sent 5 ships and a thousand men. The would-be Sultan had only his palace guard, his slaves, and whatever civilians he could gather. With one volley, the British forces completely disabled Zanzibar's only artillery batteries. They then marched for the burning
Dictator4Hire 6y ago I'd say the ancient Greek city of Thebes embodies this pretty well. Thebes kinda had a history of being the squeaky third wheel in Greek affairs. It was just kinda their thing. Persian War: Athens and Sparta defeat Persia. Guess which city state allies with the Persians? Yup: Thebes. So Sparta responds by tanking Thebes' economy, but renegs once Spartan/Athenian relations begin to sour. They go back and forth in an alliance with Sparta during the Peloponnesian War. So after that war, there was a huge power vacuum, which ends up sort of accidentally being filled by

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