21 Illicit Products We’ve All Agreed to Pretend Are Other Things

Glassware that is ‘for tobacco only’... Sure, dude
21 Illicit Products We’ve All Agreed to Pretend Are Other Things

A larger part of the American economy than anyone is comfortable with is based on a wink and a nudge. Remember that scene in Sex and the City when Samantha tries to return her vibrator to Sharper Image and the guy won’t let her until she agrees that it’s actually a “neck massager” because “Sharper Image doesn’t sell vibrators”? If not, get over it and watch Sex and the City already, it’s a fun show.

Come to think of it, that scene means Sharper Image must have agreed to implicitly admit they sell vibrators. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have approved the product placement. Burlesque dancers have thicker veils.

It’s not just vibrators, either. If you can think of a way to have an adult-oriented good time, there’s a product pretending it won’t let you have one, because the Puritan spirit is strong and this country still can’t admit that it likes fun. So when user EVERYTHlNG_WAS_TAKEN asked r/AskReddit, “What is an item that everyone misuses but the makers pretend they don't know?” a bunch of degenerates answered the call.

seanjones520 5mo ago anything that vibrates
mahogani9000 5mo ago Swisher Sweets!
Ok-Resist7858 5mo ago I remember, back in the day, McDonald's coffee stirring spoons were used as coke spoons. So they changed them.
5mo ago corkas_ Whoever makes the little tiny ziplock baggies to hold 'buttons' or 'jewellery' in.
WinslowT_Oddfellow 5mo ago Grow lights for indoor roses.
BigBird2378 5mo ago Edited 5mo ago Hydroponics kit. To help you grow some really big tomatoes, innit.
beretta_vexee . 5mo ago Edited 5mo ago Poppers, leather cleaner, do not inhale or ingest
Willowrosephoenix 5mo ago Previous to weed becoming legal in most states in the United States, all the head shops with signs on the glassware for tobacco use only Riiiiiigggggght
CommunicationHot7822 5mo ago I have a dry herb vape that from the instructions seems to think that people really want to inhale the essence of rosemary or thyme.
HelloFoxie 5mo ago Edited 5mo ago Kmart Spice grinders that for some reason are one of the only products in the kitchen aisle to have anti theft devices on them.
XxFezzgigxX 5mo ago Battery powered soldering irons that are actually just vape batteries. They never include the soldering tip that they show in the ads. That's ok, I was never going to use it for soldering anyway.
dsvengalis 5mo ago Shoelaces at gas stations. Heroin user use them to tie off their arm. When was the last time YOU needed to buy shoelaces, let alone at a gas station?
HeartlessValiumWhore 5mo ago Ski masks. Nobody wears them to go skiing.
ArcTan_Pete 5mo ago Ebay has a few BDSM items for sale - crops, canes, etc - they are usually described as 'for role play, fancy dress, acting props'
PixelArtDragon 5mo ago Back in the days of the Prohibition, a lot of grape juice was sold with extremely explicit instructions of all the things you'd need to do to ferment it but with the disclaimer of here's what's illegal to do.
anima99 5mo ago Recently, I found out the existence of fake urine for experiments and pranks. The real use is to bypass drug tests.
RedditUser3525 5mo ago In the UK, sales of nitrous oxide cannisters used for whipping cream have skyrocketed in the past 10 years. Spoiler: This isn't due to the correlation in popularity of 'The Great British Bake Off', it's due to its disassociative psychoactive effects.
AssistantFishmonger 5mo ago Pet milk. It's illegal to sell unpasteurized milk for human consumption. But many people want it because it contains good microbes that are otherwise killed by the pasteurization process. The loophole is for dairies to sell it as pet milk labeled not for human consumption and pretend people actually buy it for their pets.
rocklobster7413 5mo ago When I lived in Jiddah, Saudi Arabia, the local food store sold the empty bottles that have the cork seal, packaged hops and barley, hydrometers, those wooden milk crates, funnels, and blank labels. Going over one aisle you could but saccharomyces cerveisuae and saccharomyces pastirianus yeasts. Though, all you really had to do was hit up any friend who lived in one of foreign housing areas to get yeast (yep, the Germans had the best.) If one would then drive about 15 kilometers from this store you would come to a large hill called malt mountain. Buried
Chahles88 5mo ago When I was in college I delivered soda for a big soda company. When we delivered to the sketchy areas, like gas stations and convenience stores, you could see some sketchy shit was going down when the sidewalk outside was littered with little paper roses. Inside, one will find the oddest display: an inordinate amount of copper scrubbies, and single light bulbs. At the front, there were these little gifts that were paper roses displayed in a thin glass tube. Someone finally explained it to me: these are the items you need to make a crack pipe.
kerdita 5mo ago Cookie dough. We'll keep eating it raw.

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